Roberto Esquivel Cabrera has just set a world record for having the longest penis.

Mexican man with 'world's longest penis' wants to register as disabled http://t.co/tp1jKEJ1QN pic.twitter.com/wB9gtG2awL

— IBTimes UK (@IBTimesUK) August 29, 2015

The 52-year-old Mexican measured in at a whopping 18.9 inches (48.2cm), with a tip circumference of 10 inches (25cm), at certification by World Record Academy officials yesterday. …

The World Record Academy stepped in after Mr Cabrera shared his story with a local journalist in an interview that was picked up by the world press over the weekend.

He told how his massive member had ruined his life, preventing him from having a relationship and even getting a job.

“Look where it is, it goes far below the knees,” Mr Cabrera said.

“I cannot do anything, I cannot work, and I am disabled so I want authorities to declare me as a disabled person and give me support.”

Women were too frightened to have sex with him, so he had never had a long-term girlfriend, let alone a wife. …

In 2011 Mr Cabrera was deported from US to Saltillo in the north-eastern Mexican state of Coahuila, where he lives alone in a room given to him by his brothers. He survives on social assistance and scavenges for food and materials on waste dumps. He has no friends and says people “shun” him wherever he goes.

Let this serve as a cautionary tale to us all, fellas. Because this proves you just don’t know how the other half lives.

I confess when I hear about a guy like Roberto Cabrera, I’m envious. But there’s a reason that envy is one of the seven deadly sins. And that every religion from Christianity to Hinduism and every great philosopher from Aristotle to Emmanuel Kant warn against the dangers of allowing ourselves to be made unhappy by the good fortune of others.

I mean, here I’ve been all my life, feeling bad about my own shortcomings and dreamed of having what the good Lord gave our boy Roberto here. But I’ve never tried walking a mile in his boxer briefs. As it turns out having a massive penis isn’t all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Instead it’s celibacy, deportation, public assistance and living off the stuff other, regular-to-below-average-sized men throw away. Who knew?

There’s an old saying of uncertain origin that goes something like, “I complained because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet.” It’s a lesson we can all take to heart as we read Mr. Cabrera’s sad story today. I have always felt sorry for myself for having a small penis. Then I read about a man whose life has been ruined by his 19-inch wang and I laughed myself silly about it for hours.

Strangely though, in spite of everything, I think every guy out there still envies Roberto Cabrera.

Comparing the smallest dick in the world to the largest.

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