Jamaican Me Crazy

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Derrick By Catelyn (edited with Ginger).


Two years ago, I moved into a New Orleans apartment with another girl, Madeline, and a boy, Derrick.

Derrick was Jamaican, light skinned, almost the exact clone of Sean Paul, except with quite a few piercing’s, 3 in one ear, 2 in the other, an eyebrow, his tongue, and his nipple, he also had two tattoos, a star on his right bicep and a pot leaf on his left ass cheek. He was tall, about 6’5, with a well-toned body and chiselled abs. His shoes were a large size 13 and a 1/2. I’ll admit, I had a bit of a crush on him. Even though I couldn’t understand half the stuff he was saying through that accent of his.

Well, Derrick was sweet at first, seeming to have a little crush on my other female roommate. For the first two weeks we lived together, he was fairly nice, but he did make quite a few comments on fucking us both. I’ll admit, it was fun, listening to that sexy voice tell me what kinds of wild things he would like to do to me. But all this came to a close one faithful night.

Derrick was at home with Madeline and me. It was unusually hot out and our a/c was busted. So, all day Derrick walked around in a pair of those shiny Lakers basketball shorts and nothing else. All day I had been staring at his surprisingly smooth and well-toned legs and ripped eight-pack chest. Imagining what his happy trail was leading down to. All day he had been making really disgusting remarks towards Madeline. And she was obviously tired of it. So, in that sexy accent of his, Derrick said to her, “If you’d let me, I’d pull those legs of yours apart and split you in half with pleasure”.

Madeline stopped typing on her computer and stood up. She walked towards him, he just sat in our chair, looking up at her, sweating from the heat outside, he was glaring at her with those beautiful blue eyes of his, covered by those lashes that would go for miles. She walked towards him and told him to stand up.

He obliged. She looked into his eyes, and said, “Alright, Derrick, if you show me what you’ve got (she glanced down at his crotch), maybe I’ll be impressed enough to let you do these things to me.”

After hearing this, I was immediately excited. I practically flew across the room at this chance to see Derrick’s massive Jamaican penis. But Derrick suddenly changed attitudes completely. He suddenly became nervous, and worried, sweating now from fear instead of heat. He said to us both. “Uh, maybe later,” he muttered.

Madeline grabbed him by the waist, and said, “No. I want to see now. Now either you take those trousers off yourself, or we’ll do it for you.”

Derrick suddenly got the look of a frightened puppy in his eyes. “I don’t want to anymore,” he said, his voice quivering.

Madeline looked at him. “Come on, you’ve been telling me for so long how you wanted to tear into me, come on. Let’s see you do it.”

Derrick started to try and back away from us, but he wasn’t going anywhere. Madeline grabbed him and forced him into the chair. I got behind him and held him by those incredible muscular arms of his. I slid one of my hands down the back of his basketball shorts and pinched that tight, smooth, little ass of his. Suddenly he became terrified, begging us not to. I leaned forward and kissed his big, soft, lips.

“Shh… It’ll be OK,” I whispered in his ear as his eyes slowly filled with tears of regret and remorse.

He was wishing he’d never said anything sexual to Madeline and I. Madeline sat on his legs and caressed his chest, pulling on the nipple piercing in his right nipple. Once she was done, she stood up. She continued to caress his toned and hard chest as her hands moved slowly towards the elastic band that held his shorts up.

“Please, don’t…” He whimpered.

Madeline suddenly grabbed the waistline of his shorts and begin to pull down. As she did, I could see the small, carefully shaved patch of black pubic hair. I suddenly became totally aroused in anticipation. Suddenly, Madeline quickly yanked his shorts over his large feet, and from his body completely. My attitude suddenly changed from one of arousal to one of complete amusement. Madeline and I both began to laugh uncontrollably at the sight of Derrick’s penis.

It couldn’t possibly have been any bigger than 1/2 an inch, it looked more like a second bellybutton than a penis. His balls weren’t much to speak of either, they looked like 2 walnuts stuck together inside a hairy beanbag. All in all, his entire piece of equipment was unnaturally tiny. Madeline and I both laughed our asses off at the sight of our sexy roommate, sitting there with a newborn’s dick pointing at us. Madeline then started playing with it, massaging the head and rubbing his balls. Suddenly, Derrick became erect, which brought on twice as much laughter at the sight of his erect penis. Madeline grabbed a ruler off her desk and held it up to poor Derrick’s little stiffy.

“Three inches hard,” Madeline screamed. “This baby’s dick is only three inches long!”

We laughed and laughed. I waved my pinkie finger right in Derrick’s whining face. In that instant, every spark of attraction I had ever felt towards him was gone. Now replaced by a burning desire to tease and torment. We took a few pictures of ourselves next to him, mocking his pathetic excuse for a dick. Then, Madeline grabbed a permanent marker off her desk and wrote ‘BABY DICK’ on his abs, then wrote ‘THREE INCHES’ on his stomach, right above his dick.

And then wrote ‘PERV’ on his forehead. We then grabbed Derrick and threw him, still naked, into the hallway outside our apartment. He spent about an hour outside, begging and pleading with us to let him in. We just continued laughing as we saw his little erection go back to soft and then go inside of him through the eye hole. Then, something we NEVER expected to happen, happened. A group of about four college age kids, two guys and two girls, all dressed in swimming suits, walked down the hall, obviously heading to the pool.

Derrick began banging on the door and pleading with us to let him in. But, the college kids arrived. The girls saw his little penis. “Aww, look at his willy…” One said.

“It’s so little… Are you sure he’s a boy?” The other girl said.

They eventually took Derrick with them to the pool. Madeline and I didn’t hear a thing from him for the rest of the night.


The next morning we woke up. Derrick was still not back. We eventually found him, tied to one of the pool chairs with one of the guy’s swimsuits. He now had the words “Ashley” and “Jessica” written on his arms, and for some reason his dick was covered in dry cum. According to Derrick, what happened was, they tied him up with one of the guy’s swimming trunks. Then the girls teased him for a little while. But he started to cry. The girls apparently took pity on him and sucked on his dick, Ashley did it once. And Jessica did it once. He came twice that night, and if not for Madeline and I, he wouldn’t have at all.

To this day, I’ve never seen a dick as tiny as poor Derrick’s. In the years since that night, Derrick attempted to become a stripper. He was fired after too many complaints. He eventually became a professional dancer and appeared in three Britney Spears videos, ‘Slave 4 u’, ‘Me against the Music’, and the ill-fated ‘Outrageous’. And he recently landed a supporting role in a straight-to-video slasher movie of some kind. I’m not sure what it’s called, but look for it in 2005.

I hope for little Derrick’s sake that if he becomes a celebrity, he doesn’t let it go to his head or else Madeline and I may have to release a few photos to the press. Have fun in Hollywood, poor little Derrick.

The End.


One comment

  • Denise simpson

    Great story. I don’t believe it but definitely a good story.


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