Prankster Queen

By Babydicklover.

Mark is my beloved husband. He is a white, chubby, average-height man with a burly gray beard and blue eyes. Compared to other men, he’s a massive teddy bear, and I love cuddling with his warm body. We are in our early fifties, and both retired. We’ve been married for 13 years. Nowadays, we just lounge around and try to find things to keep us preoccupied. We live in a somewhat lovely house with a community pool approximately one hour away.

With it being his 54th birthday, I could not be more excited. It’s our tradition to pull pranks on each other every year because we’ve always been impractical jokesters. Everything changed when Mark took it to the next level. Last year, Mark hosed me with a water gun while I wore a white, see-through blouse. What made matters worse was Mark threw me a birthday party with my family and girlfriends. It was mortifying because you could see my small breasts’ clear outline and flame-induced face. After that day, I vowed to get Mark back in the most brutal way possible.

The thing about Mark is he really has no shame. He’s always walking around naked with his giant gut, swinging without a care in the world. He’s practically a nudist but never mentioned or wanted to attend a nude-based event or activity. But he has never been naked outside the house. He sometimes ventures forth naked in the backyard when he knows our neighbors aren’t home. He might be embarrassed by having an extremely tiny penis, which I can use against him.

I have been concocting several ultimate pranks throughout the year to show Mark the raw terror for messing with me. I’ve teasingly threatened him, but he never took me seriously. But today was the day to show Mark he should never mess with me again because I am the prankster queen.

I rarely mention his puny pee-pee because it was never a problem, but it may be an issue for Mark. Sometimes, I fight back when he teases me about my small boobies by mentioning his shrinking deficiency. Frequently, after my remarks, he will first cover his tiny cock but shrug it off and laugh. But I know he is embarrassed because his face will turn a light tinge of red.

I’ve never really asked him if having a little guy bothered him. This is something we both came to terms with; years ago, he had an average-sized penis, but growing old hasn’t caught up to him yet, except for his flattened groin. You see the little noggin of his shaftless ding-a-ling waddle side to side when he walks. It’s a true tragedy for any man to lose sight of his manhood, witness his penis’s size melt, and succumb to a dick-do.

The majority of his baby dick is gone, and he is probably two inches hard. His little soft willy is less than an inch. He’s what you used to call a “grower,” but now it barely gets any bigger. Sometimes, after he showers, it is so tiny; I giggle to myself. How could anyone have a penis so small? Even if he isn’t bothered by having small penis syndrome, being nude in a public setting should do the trick. I do love him, but this is war.

Mark knows pretty much everyone in my life–my friends and family. But, months ago, in December, I joined a book club to meet other women and have intellectual conversations. Sometimes, I wouldn’t do anything besides watch television. I needed something else to fuel my mind because I didn’t want to become a slump. Mark has many hobbies that preoccupy him pretty much all the time. Since he’s never met them, I had the upper hand. My book club gals would be the key to assemblage.

He always has a few cold ones on the morning of every birthday celebration. He usually didn’t drink unless he wanted to appease his pent-up frustration. I switched the light beers with stronger ones, so he would let loose more. We decided to go to the community pool because that is also something he liked doing. It isn’t the most luxurious pool, so no one would generally be there. That won’t be happening today, mister. I can’t wait to see his face after we abandon him.

Mark and I had a fabulous walk where I carried the towels, and Mark modeled in only trunks and sandals. We arrived at the pool, and I was heartened to see my book gals sitting in the pool chairs. There were four of them. Mark seemed a little disappointed because he wanted us to be alone. He tried to leave, but I reprimanded him. I smacked him on the buns and told him we weren’t going, which made him pout like a spoiled brat. He took off his sandals and was barefoot. He pretended to act superbly confident and strolled the women with his beer belly hanging. It was too bad his little tee-tee didn’t.

He jumped in the pool, swam for around 20 minutes, and then walked toward me. His big belly was adorable. Since he was more loose than usual, he was more flirtatious, which I wasn’t expecting. He began toying with the other women, acting like he was some stud they desired. I was genuinely becoming more annoyed as he carried on joyful conversations with these ladies, who were only playing along. He conversed with them for over 45 minutes. I had a whole plan, but this hastened the process.

He asked the ladies, “You like what you see?”

I sneakily snuck behind him and shouted, “They won’t now!”

With a quick yank, I brought his trunks to his ankles, leaving him completely naked in front of these attractive women. They had a clear and detailed view of how tiny and nanoscopic his dick was. There were merely inches away from his baby shlong. In conjunction with the cold water, mild weather, and beer, his dick was entirely gone. They all held their hands to their faces. They started giggling uncontrollably at his pathetic half-pint justification for a penis.

“Oh yeah, buddy, we definitely like what we see, which is nothing.”

“I’ve never seen a penis so damn tiny before in my life. I’m probably bigger than him.”

His face was beet red. He gasped and covered his little guy away from the lively, laughing ladies. He couldn’t believe I stripped him and was buck-naked. No amount of coverage would resurrect the girls after they saw the tiniest penis they had ever seen on an adult man. He may have covered it, but the damage had already been done. He looked like he was about to cry; this really shattered him. I didn’t know they would be this mean to him, which only put a nefarious smile on my face. This will teach him.

“Cover it all you want. We already saw how minuscule it is.”

He was innately speechless and frozen. He couldn’t move or say anything. I pushed him into the pool and grabbed his trunks from the water, leaving him stark naked like the day he was born. While this was dreadful for little Markie pooh, that wasn’t even close to the final showdown. I grabbed everything we had brought and ran off with one of the girls. She parked close to the pool, so we drove off.

I told the other women to record what I would miss. He came up and saw I was gone with everything. There was now a camera pointed at him.

“Honey, why are you naked in the pool? You better leave before the cops arrive.”

“Where’s Ingrid?”

“Oh, she’s long gone. Did you really think she wouldn’t sink to your level after you exposed her breasts on her birthday?

“I didn’t think she would take it this far. I could get arrested. Do you have a towel or something?”

“Haha, nope. Get out of the pool, and we will help you. Show us that tiny penis you trying so desperately to hide.”

“Okay, as long as you promise not to laugh.”

“No, of course not.”

Mark lifted his wet, big body out of the pool, exposing his penis again. They immediately laughed.

“You promised you wouldn’t laugh.”

“Yeah, we lied. Bud, it’s in our nature to laugh at something so funny. Aww, look at that. He shaves his little pee-pee. Why do you shave it?”

Mark shrugged, “So, Ingrid could actually see it.”

“Haha. Poor baby.”

“Alright, enough about my cock. You said you would help me.”

“Little Markie, you can’t call that a cock. Try little pee-pee.”

“Ugh, enough about my little pee-pee, then.”

“Good little dinky winky boy. We don’t have anything, so I guess you’ll have to run home naked.”

“Is there really nothing you have I can cover myself with?”

“Hmm. I mean, you don’t need anything that big to cover your microcock. Maybe my bikini bottom will be able to cover your package.”

“No way. I can’t wear that.”

“Just try it on, you little-dicked baby.”

She slid her bikini bottom on, showing Mark a little, juicy surprise. His tiny peen grew a whole two inches upon seeing her pussy.

She noticed and looked disgusted, “Oh my goodness, Mark. Are you actually getting turned on right now? A small dick is one thing, but there is nothing more ridiculous than an erect dicklette. What do you even do with all that?”

He ignored her, turned around, and put the bikini bottom on.

“Wow, check out that round, bodacious, steamy buns.”

She spanked Mark’s flabby buttocks. After enduring the pain to his bare, wet rear end, he finally got it on. It looked incredibly tight and uncomfortable, but it covered his little parts. Nothing was going on underneath the crotch area.

“What a perfect fit. Now, run along home to the wifey.”

“What? I can barely move in these.”

“Fine, give them back, you whiney dickless sucker.”

He took them off, exposing his little micropenis again.

“Aww. Look at your tiny Lilliputian mighty midget piccolo. It’s a sweet spot.”

He looked around frantically, trying to find something to cover his little one-inch dicklette. He couldn’t find anything, so he decided to run for it. The last part of the video is of Mark’s big butt as he ran away from the pool and into the barren area.

I was relaxing at home and getting ready for the final touches for Mark’s birthday. I received the video and couldn’t be more optimistic. After about an hour, I heard a banging from the front door. It was Mark, and he was completely naked. I was worried he would find something to cover himself with, but he braved the busy streets with absolutely nothing on. I was proud and impressed by his fortitude.

I walked up to the door, “Who is it?”

“Oh, Ingrid, c’mon, you know it’s me. Let me in.”

“What’s the magic word, Mark?”

Honey, enough with the games. You’ve made your point. I am butt-naked out here. Any one of our neighbors might see me.”

“That still wouldn’t be the funniest thing to happen, though. There’s not much to see down there, honey bunch. Who cares if the neighborhood sees your big ass crack.

“I do. It is humiliating.”

“What’s even more embarrassing is your front. If you really want to come inside, what’s the magic word?”


“The accurate wizardry word is what you have down there sticking between those big legs.”

“My penis?”

“Close. I was looking for true-to-life words that describe the diminutive nature of your genitals. Realistic words like small, tiny, shrunken, baby-sized, nipple-sized, gnome-inspired, micro or even nano would have been appropriate.

“I am not tiny!”

“Haha. That little wand is beyond tiny. It is like an incredible burger, but incredibly tiny, and that has more meat than what you have. I think several innocent bystanders who saw you streak home would beg to differ.”

A neighbor was out walking his dog and stumbled on Mark.

He shouted from across the street, “Nice ass, Mark.”

He ran closer to him and checked my hubby out, “I am enjoying the view from here. I am new to this neighborhood, but I could get used to this.”

He made a kissing noise at Mark, accidentally making him turn around without covering himself.

The neighbor automatically looked at Mark’s penis, whistled, and said, “Oof, never mind. What a shame. That is one tiny dick. Even my little dog has a bigger dick than that. Haha.”

This caught the attention of several neighbors, who were now also enjoying the view of Mark and his sad predicament. Everyone began outright laughing and openly teasing his inferior, insufficient shortcomings.

“Nice dick, stud. That thing is tiny.”

“I can’t even see it from where I am.”

“Oh, his poor wife. She doesn’t get anything from him.”

“Wow, check out that body. There is much to love, but he can’t even make love himself. That little love pistol couldn’t do anything.

Mark was desperate and begged, “Let me in, please. Our neighbors can see me.”

“I know, it’s amazing. Ahem. What is the magic word?”

“Okay, super micro-like pee-pee.”

“Yay. Good boy. Come in with your incredibly slim, tiny, and subnormal penis.”

I opened the door, and he ran in faster than the wind. He stormed in without a stitch on his body. It felt surreal. I couldn’t believe I had done it. I looked at him; he was clenching his teeny dicklette for dear life. I felt a little (like his penis) bad for my poor hubby because everyone saw his less-than-impressive chode. He put on a sexy show for the neighborhood.

He laughed and said, “Nice one, honey. You really got me.”

He tried to act tough and unashamed, but deep down, based on his shocked demeanor, I knew running home completely naked without anything to cover traumatized him.

He looked me in the eyes, and he started to sniffle.

“It was horrible. I had to run home completely naked. Many people saw me and laughed, cars honked at me, and I was recorded by many people. At one point, I hid in the bushes. These two ladies approached me, removed my hands, and flicked my penis. They also spanked my exposed, naked bottom. They wanted my ‘delicious, raw steak dipped in lard’ as I ran.”

I smacked his squishy fanny, “Well, you’ve got a cute derriere, babe.

Now you know not to mess with me, especially when you’re packing the smallest penis of all time.”

“I am sorry. You are the prankster queen. You’ve earned that title.”

He bowed and hugged me. I could feel his little innie crawl inside him.

I went inside the kitchen and brought him one of those mini slim jims,
which was way larger than what he strutted down the catwalk today.

“Here’s a little snack for you, bigger than your little snack.”

“Does my little penis bother you?”

“Nope. I love you and your dinky. I am just baffled by how small it is.”

“Well, I can’t help that.”

I rubbed his hair back, “Aww, I know, honey. You can’t help nature taking its course on your dick. I’m guessing you haven’t been kind to nature because it’s taking revenge on you.”

After a couple of minutes, he actually brushed off the incident because, based on his rationale, no one he really knew saw him in his revealed state.

“I guess you aren’t the queen. I will take that title back now.”

“Okay, you win. Pranks are over. Let’s actually celebrate your birthday night. It is time for your real present. We will watch a Harry Potter marathon outside in the backyard since I rented one of those screen projectors. I thought that would make you happy.

“You are the bestest wifey ever.”

“And you are the best hubby, even with your tiny penis.”

He kissed me, and I felt goosebumps travel throughout my body.

“The backyard looks magical. I hung up tons of lights.”

He allowed me to blindfold him because he thought the worst was over. I guided him and his bloated, tubby body to our backyard.

“Can I take the blindfold off?”

“As you wish, king.”

He took the blindfold off, and everyone shouted, “Surprise!”

He was staggered to see fifty people in his backyard with a couple of phones photographing and videoing him completely naked. He was greeted by his friends and the entire family. Everyone gasped because they didn’t know what I had planned for him. They couldn’t quit staring at the nothingness between Mark’s legs. Between his paunchy thighs was a puny little willy, too scared to come out due to embarrassment. The outside air was awkwardly quiet. Even the crickets were hushed.

Mark’s obnoxious brother broke the silence, “I know we are in Michigan, but it ain’t that cold, dude.”

Everyone collectively laughed at Mark and his little, tiny penis. His face was sickly pale, like an emotionless zombie, since everyone he loved now knew about his little secret. There was no return from this. He would now be known as the man with a microdick everywhere he went. He screamed like a girl and ran back inside, his remarkably small penis bouncing around with his fat, jiggly, white, bare tooshie. Mark’s mother and father held their faces with their hands in disgrace. Everyone was laughing and discussing what they saw.

Without warning, Mark’s dad said, “I am nothing like that, I promise.”

After a while, I checked on Mark. He refused to come outside, so I convinced him no one saw anything, which he knew was absurd. He finally caved, put on clothes, and came outside. Everyone was watching the video of him earlier that my friend filmed. They watched with hilarity-filled eyes as Mark put on the bikini bottom. After it ended, everyone gave Mark a standing ovation for being a warrior and fighter.

I really went all out for the party. One of Mark’s gifts that I bought him was a penis pump. I had postcards with clever sayings with pictures of Mark’s big, smooth butt. There were cookies shaped like little pee-pees. Lastly, I had a cake shaped like a small dick. Everyone sang, but instead of using Mark’s name, they agreed to say, “Mark’s little dick.”

“Blow out your candles, honey.”

“Maybe he can wish for a bigger dick.”

“Haha. In his wildest dreams, maybe. Even in a dream, that would be impossible.

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be possible. I am guessing that penis pump will come in good use.”

He blew out his candles, and the party continued. Mark was drinking more than usual. He was acting crazy and goofy. At one point, the “Short Dick Man” song played to everyone’s amusement. They all wanted Mark to do a little dance to the song. He drank so much that he was out of control, giving in without opposition. He stripped everything he was wearing and started dancing like a fool. Everyone was laughing as his baby penis was hopping with Mark. I couldn’t believe he had done it.

“Honey, I can’t believe you did that.”

“Who cares? Everyone’s already seen my man meat or a cocktail weenie.”

“That’s the spirit, Mark.”

He put his clothes back on. After he received a ludicrous and nonsensical amount of little dick jokes, the party finally ended. Mark walked my father outside. I eavesdropped on their conversation.

“Mark, don’t worry about having a tiny micro wee-wee. It doesn’t change anything.”

“I understand, sir.”

“Oh, really?”

My dad grabbed my husband’s shirt over his head and pulled his shorts and underwear down to his ankles, exposing his little penis. His massive, bubble butt bounced in my view and welcomed me as I watched from afar. His eyes darted directly at Mark’s shrunken winky.

He pointed at Mark’s dick and said, “At least I know you won’t be cheating on my daughter with that inadequate package. Appreciate and treat her well because no other woman wants to be with a man carrying a penis smaller than a little olive or grape.”

I left for the bathroom and couldn’t stop laughing at what I had heard. I was worried they both heard me. What a beautiful memory today was. Besides the prank, I bought him a pool table, which he loved. Later that evening, we were in the bedroom, cuddling together.

“Mark, today was the best day. I told you I am the queen.”

“Yes, I shouldn’t have underestimated you.”

He bowed to me, and I dominated the bedroom.

“Babe, your penis is so damn tiny. It is refreshing to actually mention it now.”

“Yes, I hope you still love me, though.”

I looked at his baby dick and said, “Nothing will change that, my love. Even your incredibly small dick wouldn’t change that. You are the sweetest guy in the world.”

I gave him the best sex of his life because he deserved it. He pumped and pumped, and even though I couldn’t feel much, I let him have it. He finished in me seven times that night. I wonder if he had a sexual fetish for being humiliated. I certainly loved humiliating him.

At first, people constantly brought up Mark’s little penis. Now that it happened many years ago, seldom do people mention it. Even though nobody mentions Mark’s little penis anymore, I still make sure he knows what happened. I will never get the mental image of Mark running naked with his microscopic dick flopping around with his giant white butt cheeks jostling for an entire hour to reach our home out of my head.

I wish I could have seen it in real time because my fantasy only shows an impartial truth. The absolute truth arouses me, so I make sure Mark rehashes it for my carnal pleasure. I constantly make fun of his little penis now. He loves it when I do. We celebrated more birthdays after that with harmless pranks. He never tried to reclaim his title as “prankster king.” I will always be known as the queen, and Mark worshiped me.


The End.


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