Our Readers SPH Experiences 152
By Our Readers
This reader’s wife goes by Vanderpump Rules…
So I was naked about to hop in the shower, and my wife looked down at my penis (1.5 inches soft), and she said: “I was watching ‘Vanderpump Rules’ and a guy was talking about the perfect thigh to junk ratio, and I thought of you.”
I have very thick thighs, by the way. So I asked her to explain more, and she said, “The size of your junk looks small if you have big thighs, as it was explained in the show.”
“Do I have the right ratio?” I asked.
She laughed and said, “Honey, your thighs are huge, but your dick is small anyway. So, it doesn’t work for you.”
Then smacked my ass and told me to get in the shower.
We were later lying in bed and said, “Well, I have a big booty, and I would rather have…” She sat up quickly and laughed.
I asked, “Were you just going to say you would rather have a big booty than a big cock?”
“Well, everyone would see my big booty,” she said. “But not everyone would see my big cock.” She laughed and then said, “Well, I hardly see yours, and I do look for it.”
“Yeah, but I don’t have a big cock. I have a tiny one.”
“That’s true. That’s why I can never find it when I look for it.”
I said, “Well, I’m glad you married me even though I have a small dick.”
“Me too, babe.”
Sorry, it wasn’t a fantastic ending, but it was still fun. I hope you enjoyed it.
Another reader decides size is all that matters to women…
My wife has a friend who was hanging out with a guy she actually liked. She ended up sleeping with him. The next day he asked how it was. She told my wife that she was honest but not mean. In other words, she told him the sex wasn’t that good because his dick was too small. The guy was hurt (no surprise!) and said something like, “Well, I guess there’s no point in hanging out anymore. You‘d just cheat on me.”
She told him he was probably right for folks here. That might be a pretty exciting conversation SPH-wise. And I have to give her props for knowing what she likes and owning it. Especially the fact that she’d cheat on a guy she liked so that she could have sex with a big fat cock.
However, this woman, who is very nice, has dated a convicted drug dealer who spent a decade in jail—a married alcoholic who was more than twice her age. And a guy from a different religious background regularly asked her to hide in the bedroom when friends were over so they wouldn’t find out about the relationship.
This brings us to what I think is the hottest part of the story. She’s okay with a lecherous old alcoholic, a felon, and a guy who was embarrassed to be dating her, but she draws the line at a small dick. That’s funny, sexy, and somehow sad all at the same time. But it also stresses the point that size really does matter, regardless of what our disappointed partners tell us.
Meanwhile, this reader is conducting field research…
My best female friend SPHed me. I created a Google questionnaire with 15 photos of cocks, including mine without her knowledge, inserting a rating table to rank each cock from best to worst. I sent her the questionnaire with an excuse of doing it for some college project, asking her to fill in and knowing that she’s a size queen. I inserted some very large cocks and others average (I was the smallest one – Silver Member). She filled out the questionnaire, and I reviewed the answers.
Mine was rated last. The highest-rated was a huge cock 11 inches by 6 inches. At the end of the questionnaire, she told me that the smaller cocks were all ugly, especially one, mine (She didn’t know it was mine, though). I can’t tell you how hot this was for me. I jerked off and cummed in less than a minute. Later, I got an email telling me that she also sent it to several female friends of hers to help me out with my project. In the end, I had 30 women do it. When I checked the answers, and I was humiliated by them too. They all rated my dick the lowest.
While this reader’s girlfriend didn’t think a handful is a waste…
My penis suddenly started shrinking 6 yrs ago, and I had an issue trying to get hard. I think it was stress as I had had enough of life, losing my car and my job. I was in a relationship with a very pretty half-black half Korean she was 25, and I was 32. Yes, we were having sex, but I was dealing with stress and lost my sexual drive at some point again. Quite often, we would lay in the bed and watch tv, and she would reach into my shorts, grab my soft penis, and kind of crumple it in her hand, so it wasn’t visible at all. Every time she did this, I never got hard. I would just lay there, and my penis would be engulfed in her hand. She would hold it for at least an hour, and I let her do it every time. We never actually talked about it. I just let her enjoy that feeling of having a small penis hidden in her hand.
This reader was relaxing when…
This week I was chilling at my college apartment alone, enjoying the weekend. My roommate was out of town, so I decided to lounge around naked because I was alone. I was sitting on my couch just watching some stuff on my phone with headphones in. After a few minutes, I saw a flash and got really confused. I looked up to see two girls from my class who were also my neighbor. I didn’t even hear them because of my headphones, and they were right in front of me. They’re all laughing at me, and then it hit me that I was just laying there in front of them, completely nude. And somehow, with my luck. I had a couple of batteries lying next to me from the remote, and it was clear they were almost the same size as my dick.
Of course, this was in the picture as well, which only made it worse. I sprang up and started chasing the one girl to get the phone to delete the photo. This made my AA battery-sized dick bounce around, causing them to laugh even more. Eventually, I almost got the phone, but as I reached to grab it, the girl opened the door to the hallway while the other one pushed me out. I stupidly started pounding on the door to beg them to let me in, but the noise drew other neighbors out to the hall. A couple of sets of roommates saw me standing there naked, exposed, and embarrassed, so I just bolted. And go figure as I turned the corner to another hall, my crush was standing outside her apartment about to unlock the door.
I had worked all summer to get her to go on a date with me, and earlier in the week, she finally agreed. I completely panicked and was frozen, standing completely still with my tiny dick on full display. From the panic and running, it actually made it shrink on me to the point where maybe half an inch was sticking out. She stood speechless for a few seconds and then let out roaring laughter, just standing there laughing and pointing at me. I was so shaken that I didn’t even bother to cover up or run away.
I just walked back to my apartment as my neighbors laughed at me. I got back inside and just lay in my bed, completely stunned by what had just happened. A few minutes later, my crush sent me a text that read: ‘Ya so that date is def canceled now.’ With a shrimp and laughing emojis.
The next couple of days, word got around, and all the girls would just look at me and laugh. I’m just ‘Battery Boy’ anywhere I go now, which has led to wedgies and pantsing.
SDC reader and regular contributor Small Dave tells us…
It took a while for me to work out where I was. Although my eyes were closed, I could tell that I was outside. It was early morning. The sun was shining. There was a breeze. Beneath my body, I could feel the cool damp of a lawn. I was lying on my back, and I was naked. I recalled something of the previous night. A party, dancing, being happy. We’d been allowed to stay because I was unable to drive. My wife Annie had tried to get me to sleep in a spare room. Our daughters, Rosie and Kirstie, were happy to stay up late with their friends and sleep over with other teenagers. Our hosts were parents of their friend Saskia. Ben and Jasmine were our friends. It was a great party. There had been a cocktail bar, a Morrocan tent in the garden, a firepit, a DJ, and drugs. I was about to open my eyes and work out how to get from lying naked on the lawn to not being naked when I heard the patio doors opening and voices in the garden.
“What a lovely morning. I’ll make some coffee, shall I?” said a man.
I heard a squeal and a woman’s voice. “Oh my god, look. It’s that guy…”
Another woman’s voice. “Not the first thing I need to see in the morning.”
I couldn’t think of anything to do but pretend to be asleep.
“Should we wake him up?”
“Why? He was a total dick last night. His poor wife…”
“Which one was she?”
“The one you were talking to. Nice woman, Rosie and Kirstie’s mum. Big tits.”
“God her! Poor woman. He looks a bit too…small for her.”
They giggled. The man brought coffee out and asked what was so funny.
“Little willy there.”
The man laughed.
“That’s the guy who tried to get into our bed last night.”
He went inside and called upstairs. “Come and see this.”
I heard women’s voices—sounds of laughter, disgust, shock, scorn. I could hear them taking pictures on their phones. I continued to feign sleep, hoping they’d soon go. A woman said: “Oh my god, that has to be the smallest willy I’ve ever seen.” and there was a ripple of laughter.
I found myself becoming turned on by the humiliation. I desperately tried to fight it, but I could feel my dick stiffen and become hard.
Someone shrieked. “Look. He’s getting a hard-on.”
“Are we sure he’s really asleep?”
“Oi. Mate, you’re awake, aren’t you.”
I opened my eyes. I made a sound as though I’d just woken up. There was a round of applause. I put my hands over my penis. Somebody threw my trousers at me. I stood up and put them on. I stumbled into the house, had a piss, found the room with Annie still asleep, sneaked beneath the duvet next to her, and fell asleep.
When I woke up, it was afternoon. Everyone had left except us. I dressed and went downstairs. Annie, Ben, and Jasmine were sitting drinking coffee talking at the kitchen table. Ben laughed and hugged me.
“Here he is! The star of the party. Your ears must have been burning man, everyone’s been talking about you. Legend.”
I hugged him back but looked at Annie and said sorry.
She shook her head. “I’m just glad I missed the show. Bad enough having to see the pictures online.”
Ben and Jasmine were cool about it. Ben still teases me about it. When I’ve met people who were there, he’s always introduced me by saying, “You remember Dave, the guy with the little dick who was naked in our garden.”
Annie has never spoken about it.
SDC reader ‘babydick54uk’ tells us…
The first time I saw bf’s tiny cock, it was the smallest penis I had ever seen. I fought back my amazement, hoping he didn’t notice. I didn’t know what to do; I was frozen in place, shocked at something so small when the rest of him was so chunky.
I sat there speechless, looking at his tiny penis. Maybe it wasn’t hard yet? But I didn’t think that was possible because he had previously been kissing me and fondling my breasts under my shirt before pulling it off me and removing my bra. He had to be hard after sucking my nipples and licking every inch of my breasts. I guess this was all he had. I’ve heard of guys with tiny dicks, but I never thought it was true.
I was face to face with one now and still not moving. I was so eager to get his shorts off and see what he had. I was looking forward to sucking a healthy cock, to feel the throbbing vein lined shaft and large bulbous head in my mouth. Wet with anticipation, wondering if I would be able to swallow most of him, but now seeing it, I could swallow him without a second thought.
In my head, I was freaking out, ‘Your dick is tiny. What the hell?’ I knew I couldn’t just sit there and stare, so I moved my hand forward and cupped his small testicles, which matched his small penis. It was so strange his little boner sticking straight up only two inches of that, and I swear smaller in diameter than my ring finger! I put my thumb and index finger on the small shaft. It felt like a little plaything instead of a man’s cock. Stroking it up and down almost made me laugh again, but it was covered up with his moan. I couldn’t believe I was using a thumb and finger to stroke him off when I usually use two hands or at least all my fingers and thumb.
I wondered if he even knew how small he was compared to average men. I kept up the ruse, acting like nothing was wrong, and never let on how small I thought he was. I went so far as to drop my head and take him into my mouth with ease. I completely let go with my hand, gripping his narrow shaft between my lips and sucking up and down the entire length like sucking my little finger off. It was pathetic, but what else could I do? He really liked my sucking and swallowing his dick, actually putting his hands on my head and helping me move a whole two inches.
Since it was so easy and never started to make my mouth sore, I rapidly had him on the verge of climax. Unfortunately, he stopped me before he ejaculated. I guess he wanted to have sex. I wondered if it was even possible with something so small and especially wondering if I would actually feel anything.
When he laid down on me after removing the rest of my clothes, I knew I would have to fake everything. Not only an orgasm but any pleasure for that matter. I was used to five to eight-inch cocks, and wide ones. Cocks that filled me up and took my breath away when they entered the first time. Cocks that pounded deep and spread me wide. I could hardly feel anything. There was no penetration depth, feeling fullness, or my lips spreading open and clinging to the hot shaft. I got more pleasure with my fingers than his small cock was giving me. His thrusts were tiny, and all I could feel was his body hitting mine and a slight annoyance, like an itch in my pussy. I wondered if he was getting any friction from it, or was I just too wide and worn in for him to have pleasure. I guess he was because he moaned and exclaimed how good it felt while fondling my breasts, which was the only pleasure I was getting from it. I figured I’d put in a few moans, urge him on and act like I was cumming when he was. Girls can fake much easier than guys. We don’t have to actually ejaculate or anything.
The problem was, he decided he wanted to try all sorts of different positions, from doggy style to me on top and then modified missionary when my legs up over my head. Nothing felt any better, especially with me on top. I kept going too high, and he’d fall out, and I wouldn’t be able to tell until he said something or tried to get it back in. I finally feigned being tired so he would change again even though I was far from tired. I usually love riding a large cock, bending it where I want it, and driving down hard over and over. This one wasn’t worth the time.
It was hard to stay in the moment. My mind kept wandering away from sex, going as far as thinking about work tomorrow or what was on TV at home. I was bored, his penis was doing nothing for me, and there is only so much breast play a girl can take before it becomes lame. Finally, after doggy and me on top, he bent me over on my back and stood over me, driving his tiny penis in as deep as it would go. I almost suggested he stick it in my ass actually to feel something, but I held my tongue. He was working hard, and generally, if a guy were thrusting as hard as he was with an average dick, it would have been heaven, making me cum at least two times by now, but I wasn’t even close.
Sweat was dripping from his forehead, and his body was shiny with a sheen of sweat. I urged him on, going as far as telling him to fuck me harder and faster to get him to cum already. Seeing he was getting close, I figured I’d get some pleasure out of it and began to play with my clitoris, hoping to have a small orgasm, so this wasn’t a complete waste of time. Seeing me playing with myself pushed him over the limit because he said he was going to cum seconds later.
I felt his load ooze into my pussy, dripping deeper than his penis ever did. He cursed and shook, holding his small penis inside me while it convulsed. I pretended I was cumming, screaming, and trembling with him until he backed away. He had a little semen dripping down his narrow shaft. The odd difference between the rest of him and that small penis was something I knew I could never get used to it.