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Our female readers share their moments of Small Dick Zen! Warning: This article features women expressing negative experiences of sex with small dick club members. If this is something you feel may hurt your feelings, or cause you psychological pain, then please don’t read this article.

 

One female reader asked Mr. Universe of Mr. Puniverse?…

There was this super buff guy that I thought was absolutely hot as fuck at the gym. We would flirt and stuff so anyways one night we went to see a movie then go to a bar and we were pretty drunk. I went to my place with him (So happy) He then stood right in front of me. Made a failed attempt at stripping and then BAM – THERE IT WAS – his tiny thingy, or was it a clitoris? The guy was 6’5″, with 250lbs of toned muscle. I have never seen a tiny dick like that. So I said I wasn’t feeling well and I went to the bathroom and faked to puke (very loudly). I said I wanted to be alone and the guy dressed and left. Oh gosh.

 

One female reader got put off by a Jocks dirty talk…

I had a one night stand with a friend of mine. I’m only 5’2″ and he was probably 6’4″ really good-looking football player type. Well in the middle of it he asked me, “You like the big cock, don’t ya baby?”

Let me just clarify he was not well endowed, in fact, he was well below average. I was so embarrassed to be having sex with him at that point, I kind of pushed him off of me and told him I needed to go to sleep.

The next day I couldn’t keep such a horrible hook-up to myself, and told all my friends. He was then known ironically as the ‘big cock guy’. Well, apparently he thought the hook-up went swimmingly, and proceeded to call me many times a day. I avoided the calls, and him, for quiet some time. Unfortunately, I ran into him at a bar about two months later, and he confronted my on why I hadn’t returned any of his calls. Apparently, he thought we had a great connection. I blurted out in front of everyone that was in ear shot the reason why I had not returned his calls was because of him asking, “You like the big cock, don’t ya baby?”

He looked at me stunned, at that moment I could actually see the wheels turning in his head and the exact moment where he recalled asking me. He turned about six shades of red and left the bar immediately. He’s still known among that group of my friends as ‘big cock guy’, only when we say it we wiggle our little finger as well.

 

A female reader finds the moment too funny…

A guy I took home from a club one night had like the tiniest penis ever I ever saw. I think it must have been a micropenis, but at the time I didn’t even know about such things. So we had sex and I couldn’t even tell he was inside me, I felt nothing. The guy proceeds to tell me while we’re fucking, “Oh God, you’re so tight!” I literally fell off the bed laughing. It ruined the moment because I couldn’t stop laughing. Watching his little wiener shrivel to nothing made me laugh harder. Weirdest sexual experience I’ve ever had.

 

This female reader said her first lover held her back…

The guy I lost my virginity to kind of held me back in the sex department. He was fucking TINY, but I didn’t know any better at the time, so I never questioned why I didn’t feel anything during sex. In my naivety, I thought that must be how it’s meant to be. I was with him for two years, and never once had an orgasm. Sometimes foreplay felt kinda nice with him, but when he fucked me I couldn’t feel him inside, and he lasted less than thirty-seconds. Eventually we broke-up because I was feeling unhappy in the relationship.

When I met my now husband, I found out what I had been missing. Not that my husband is ‘huge’, he’s seven-inches hard, but compared to my ex he seemed enormous. The first time we had sex I had an orgasm. I’m still friends with my ex who I lost my virginity to, but I never looked at him the same again.

 

Thanks for the ride, but no thanks…

I had a guy so small that he told me to ride him (cowgirl style), but I couldn’t get it in. After trying for like five minutes, it magically slips inside my vagina. The only thing is I really can’t move up and down because it’ll just slip out, and I think I don’t want to go through that shit again. So I just wiggle around and he blows his load in a few seconds. Then he starts talking about going for seconds, no thanks. I kicked his ass outta bed, and told him to take his pinky dick back to play school.

 

This female reader found out you can’t judge a book by its cover…

This AMAZINGLY hot guy and I had so much chemistry. He was like an Adonis. He had a PERFECT body, the sexiest face and smile, he was INCREDIBLE. He danced really well, it was awesome. One night it just sort of happened, and we found ourselves tearing each others clothes off in pure lust. I see him nude for the first time, and I scream,”OH MY GOD, where’s your penis?”

It was small, I’m talking maybe three inches hard at best, but I’m horny and give him a shot. He had NO rhythm AT ALL, no style whatsoever. It was like a flailing spasm and within twenty seconds he came. I wish I were kidding. I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. WHAT A WASTE! Never saw him again after that.

 

One female reader recall when she met an Asian Disco King…

One time I went home from a club with an Asian dude. He was the sexiest Asian man I’ve ever seen, and man did he have (dance) moves. Everyone was in awe of his (dance) skills. I seriously could not feel ANYTHING when we had sex, because his dick was so tiny. It was the first time I had to use the ‘This is too much too soon’ excuse.

 

This female reader got some candy…

The first time I slept with one ex was probably the weirdest experience I’ve had. When he took off his pants I realised he was wearing women’s bikini style underwear. I seriously almost laughed my ass off at him. Then he took them off, and I understood why those panties fit him so well. His cock was non-existent, I actually started to feel bad for the guy because I knew a cock this small was something he was born with, he couldn’t help it. I gave him a pity blowjob, which he enjoyed. His cum tasted sweet, like candy. I started calling him ‘Candy Pants’ and he liked that.

I didn’t date him like a boyfriend, but occasionally we got together. He loved me talking about his small dick, and teasing him about it. I was reluctant because I genuinely felt bad for the guy. It’s the first time I had known a guy into SPH and feminisation. I lost touch with him and after about ten years we met at a reunion. I asked him if he was wearing his Candy Pants, and he smiled and nodded.

 

One female reader recalls how the rabbit died…

So, I have an experience that was just plain mortifying. This guy and I hit it off, he took me on a date and back to his house. We get into it, and I’m thinking he’s tall, and hot, so he’ll be great! Not. He was fucking tiny, like an AA battery, and it felt like a rabbit was humping me. All spastic and weird. He finished and went to the bathroom to clean up. I got up and noticed I had started my period all over his sheets! I didn’t know what to do, so I pulled the blankets over the blood and asked him to take me home. I never answered the phone when he called after that. LOL.

 

A female reports that one ex turned to the dark side after an encounter…

One of my good friends at the time was so damn hot, had a sexy singing voice, ripped, and was just over all dead sexy. Only thing is he had the tiniest penis I ever saw. I think he had a micropenis, because I recalled my brothers being bigger when they were like small boys. So sad. After that fateful night we had sex, I gave him the old ‘it’s not you, it me’ line and ended it. However, he decided to stalk me after that for no reason. That was creepy.

 

One female reader prefers the sounds of silence…

I dated this super hot college lacrosse/football player-turned-college football coach. He had THE FINEST BODY I’ve ever seen. I mean, it was perfect. But he had a tiny, tiny, little schlong. But the worst part, when he came, he made this AWFUL, HORRENDOUS grunting, ‘deeeeeeuuuuuurrrrrppppp’ sound that just ruined it all. Ugh. Thinking about doing it with him today still grosses me out, only because of that god-awful sound.

 

One female reader had a hair-raising experience…

I was dating a guy that was a little younger than me. I was twenty at the time, and he was a bit inexperienced to say the least. The first time we fucked it was kind of dark, and he used a condom, so I couldn’t see his size very well. All I know is it took about five seconds before he was done. So I thought, OK, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, and we decided to take a shower together. Holy hell, his pubes were bigger than his dick… HARD. We never dated or fucked again after that.

 

One female reader got caught in the short arm of the law…

After my divorce, I thought I would hook up with this cop I had been flirting with for a year. We get all hot and heavy and he warns me that he isn’t that big, but I thought he was joking. OMG he was so small I didn’t know what to do, he finished and was like, “Wow, that was great.” Really, I thought, I didn’t feel a thing. He called a few times but thankfully I ended up moving to LA, so I didn’t have to be mean to him about it.

 

This female reader didn’t think sex was the highlight of the evening…

I fucked a guy whose dick was the size of a highlighter cap. It was just… ugh, why am I feeling more shame for you, than you do. He thought he was so athletic and awesome too, literally doing push-ups on top of me. Jamming his baby penis into my pubic bone, and sweaty too. Nothing worse than a guy who sweats on you, that grosses me out. So now when I’m hooking-up with guys, I make them chub-up and turn profile to see if it’s worth my time. I don’t have time to be fucking guys with tiny baby dicks.

 

One female reader learned that loose lips can sink ships…

Someone I was seeing casually shocked me. He wasn’t very big, which is not a big deal to me since I figured he would know how to use it. It wasn’t a micropenis or anything, just smallish. However, he proceeded to lose the condom inside me and had to get it out, which was horrifying. He then told me not to tell anyone what happened. Sadly for him, that was a promise I couldn’t keep, and told all my friends about it. People started calling him ‘slipper’, and then I felt bad because I realised my loose talk damaged his reputation.

 

One female reader had a hard time chewing the fat…

I dated this guy out of pity because all of my friends said he was really nice and really lonely. He was a very large man, and by large I mean I think he swallowed a cow. One night I got drunk, and was like, “Alright, let’s do this!”

He pinched my nipple until it was raw, and when he got on top of me and I totally farted because all the air not only escaped my lungs but also other holes. I literally pulled a muscle in my leg from trying to spread my legs wide enough for his fat body to fit. His dick was so sad, and so small, I couldn’t even tell if he was done because all I felt was pain from him being on top of me. I never knew I could spread my legs so far apart. He found me on Facebook recently, and said he had gotten married but now is getting a divorce. He wanted to hook-up with me again. NOPE! I don’t even have an enemy I’d set up with that loser!

 

One female reader found out the one size doesn’t always fit all…

I finally hooked up with a guy I had been kind of seeing off and on. The condom was way to big for him, it was so awkward! He had a pinkie size penis. We both managed to avoid each other after that. If he had been any good at foreplay, we may have dated a while. I say this because I’ve dated a few guys who are bad fucks, but because they were good at foreplay I stuck with them for a while. If you can eat pussy well, then your dick size is irrelevant.

 

A female reader discovered that bad boys aren’t always good…

I was crushing on this guy in college, he was the bad skater punk boy. I was the good girl who ran track and rode horses. He came over one night to hang out, and we ended up getting REALLY drunk on 99 Berries and Kahlua shots. We migrated back to my bedroom. Anyway, he got up and got in, and I swear, I couldn’t even feel him. I’d had sex only two times before that, so it’s not like I was stretched out, haha. But anyway, this guy was so tiny that I refer to him even now as Pencil Dick. When he was fully up, he was still smaller than my now husband is when he’s completely limp! I mean, we’re talking maybe three-inches long at the most, and about as big around as a nickel. He was (and I’m sure still is) a TOTAL waste of sex!

 

One female reader met the cookie monster…

I dated a guy in college that was a little odd. He would take cookie cutters and shave his pubic hair into different shapes to match the season. It weirded me out. We only dated for like three months because I was completely creeped out by his whole pubic hair thing. He was also not that well endowed anyway, and sex wasn’t that enjoyable with him. If you have a small penis, do you really want to bring any more attention to it by cutting your pubes in the shape of a gingerbread man? Maybe he thought I’d be confused and think: That gingerbread man is fucking HUNG!

 

One female reader found out what cops really mean when they say, “Blow into this!”…

I met up with this guy I had chatted with online for a long time. He picked me up on his motorcycle, we went riding for a few days. He brought me back to his place, he was a cop so he started showing me his handcuffs (classy), then he whipped down his pants expecting a blowjob. His penis was shorter, and width smaller than my pinkie finger. I took off the cuffs, and excused myself from his place. You don’t whip out something that tiny and pretend like you’re going to get some action without doing 0% foreplay. Haha!

 

One female reader forgot her camera…

There was this guy that I went out with and his penis was too little for the condom. lol. He had to hold it on with his fingers to stop it falling off. I told him thanks, but no thanks. I got dressed and left, leaving him there holding his little boner with a huge condom hanging off it. Funniest thing I ever saw and wish I had thought of taking a picture of it.

 

Thanks to all the women who have contributed to this article.