Recently on Reddit there was an interesting post from a guy with a micropenis. What fascinated us at The Small Dick Club was one posters reply, which resonated with many, not just for small penises, but for anyone whose feelings of self shame can make them a prisoner in their own mind. We hope our readers here get something out of it.

The Post

I have a micropenis. My penis is about 2.8″ erect. I’ve never told anyone about it. I don’t want anyone to know. They will think that I am less of a man. At the very least they will pity me, which is even worse.

I’m not overweight or anything like that, it’s just the way it is. I’m a virgin, never done anything with a girl. I’m average in terms of looks. I’m short but girls show interest occasionally/rarely. I’m scared to do anything. I’m 19 and in college, so everyone around me is having sex all the time and I have to just feign laughter as guys tell me that they “fucked this really hot girl last night.” It’s great. I’ve known that my penis was small since I was 13/14, but I assumed that it would grow eventually. It didn’t.

I’ve read just about every single article, study and forum post about micropenises and the consensus is that women don’t get pleasure from penetrative sex at all. In movies you see the two main characters get together and it’s very romantic, they kiss and start to have sex, they’re both moaning and loving it. It seriously breaks my heart to know that I’ll never be able to give a woman that experience. I know that I can learn to give cunnilingus (and I’ve read a lot on the topic), but it’s just not the same. Women talk about being “filled up” like its the most amazing feeling in the world. It hurts to know that I can’t provide that feeling. I’ve tried to kill myself before. I broke into a building and was standing on the roof about to jump, but I just couldn’t do it. I stayed there for hours trying to find the balls to do it, but apparently they’re small too.

I hate it so much. The thought of a woman laughing at me when the clothes come off is terrifying. Very few women would accept a man with a micropenis and even if there was a woman who could she would always think about a guy who was larger. Penetrative sex is off the table so she would probably seek it elsewhere. I know I probably sound like a whiny little bitch, and I most likely am, but it just really fucking sucks.

Response:

You are ashamed. Even if all humanity joins together in a conga-line of “Micropensises are amazing” it won’t make a fucking lick of difference. Because your penis is not the problem. It may be a hurdle for SOME women, in SOME circumstances. It might take a little bit of extra work for you to find partners that work for you sexually. All of this is true.

But I could provide you a harem of women BEGGING to fuck you and it wouldn’t make a difference. Because your dick is not, and has never been, the problem.

You said:

• I’ve never told anyone about it. I don’t want anyone to know. They will think that I am less of a man. At the very least they will pity me, which is even worse
• I’m scared to do anything.
• I’ve tried to kill myself before.
• The thought of a woman laughing at me when the clothes come off is terrifying.

So you tell me: is the problem your dick or your brain? You can’t fix your dick. But your brain? Totally fixable with time and work. There’s a Louis C.K. routine [Who was cribbing Atwood] where he ponders why any woman would ever go out with ANY guy. He says that men fear that women will laugh at them, whereas women fear men will kill them. Yet somehow, women still manage to muster the courage to go out to bars and coffee shops, meet strangers, call phone numbers, and all that with the treat of being murdered and raped. Your fear? That…what? You’ll be laughed at? Rejected? Pitied? Well, you’re already doing a pretty good job of that yourself.

Let’s get some perspective here.

Even IF it happened, it wouldn’t matter. You go home with a girl, things are going great, and then the pants come off and she rejects you in the cruellest manner. I mean pointing, laughing, name-calling. She literally does the WORST thing you can think of. It wouldn’t matter. It probably wouldn’t even hurt you because, guess what, that’s what you do to yourself every day, all day. You’ve said and thought every cruel and horrible thing you can come up with to yourself as long as you’ve been old enough to know you had a dick in the first place.

You hate yourself enough to want to DIE over a rejection that has never even happened. Your friends won’t pity you, but you pity you. They don’t think you’re less of man, that’s all coming from you.

The shame you’re living with is so, so much more painful than anything anyone could ever do or say. The crushing weight of being alone, being an outsider, of not feeling entitled to sex or love or companionship? THAT’S torture, and its needless. It isn’t based in the real. You may have a micropenis, but the problem is the torture chamber you’ve erected (pun intended) inside your own head.

You said, “I so badly want you to tell someone. Someone real. Tell everyone.”

I can nearly GUARANTEE the response you get is like the 50 comments posted here (reddit): supportive. Get some therapy, a lot of therapy, then start putting it out there. Tell your friends, tattoo it on your face, have a sky writer stencil it above your college campus. Get a T-shirt made. It would be the single best thing you ever did.

Because there’s that girl, you know that girl, and her secret is that sex is incredibly painful for her. She’s too fucking terrified to date because she knows that every guy will eventually want to fuck her and it is going to really suck. Then there’s that other girl who can take or leave penetration but really loves oral, and they’re going to hear about you. And, oh look, those eyebrows just went up. And they’re asking your friends where you hang out on the weekend. Yes, there are women out there who won’t want to date you because of this. But there are also women who won’t care, women who are in to it, women who need a partner with your exact qualifications. But your fear of this secret getting out means you’re standing up on the top of buildings, crushed in your loneliness and your misery, instead of sitting on their couch right now watching Archer.

Then there’s that other girl that just really digs you, and she’s never figured out what she’s doing wrong that you just ignore her. And, no, micropenis isn’t on her wish list but if she falls in love, she’d work around it. Just like millions of people work around mismatched libidos, strange kinks, premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness, and just about every other problem that befalls couples. NO ONE is a perfect match. But, damn, that pesky falling in love bullshit makes us get creative and find ways to work around it.

Don’t spend another year this unhappy. Make the choice not to do that. Your cock is never going to change but you can change your brain, your outlook, your life.