The Strip Club Off Hours

By totallynotjared


Admittedly, 11:30 A.M. on a Monday wasn’t the peak time to go to a strip club. But Steven had been blue balled the night again before. Right when he thought he had the chance to lose his v-card to his girlfriend Katie, she backed down upon the first sight of his penis and sent him home for the night. Steven woke up the next morning with the worst morning wood he’d ever suffer and decided to do something about it. He went to the local strip club, Flashes, later that moment. After walking through the door, he was met with no bouncer. It seemed odd, but he continued towards the stage, where he found the only occupants of Flashes’ was a small group of about 6-8 strippers.

“Uh, hey buddy, we’re closed. Come back later.” A petite, slightly stand-offish red-headed stripper directed him.

Steven replied, “Oh, whoops, my bad. I’m sorry; I’ll leave,” and began to walk towards the door before he heard a different woman’s voice.

“Hold on, Cynthia. Maybe he can help us prepare for the Bachelor party tonight,” A thick-thighed blonde woman said. Steven’s ears, and dick, perked.

“Well, I guess that’s not a horrible idea. Sierra grabs the cuffs. head over here, pal.”

“W-wait what?” Steven’s mind was thoroughly confused, but his legs quickly made his way to the stage.

“Thanks *so much* for helping us. Just lean your back up against the pole and put your hands behind your back.” Sierra, the 5’10” busty blonde stripper, directed.

“Uh, like this?” Steven’s voice was again expressing confusion, but his actions efficiently obliged. Sierra cuffed Steven to the pole with his front facing the audience, a small group of strippers whispering among themselves about his “lucky situation.”

“The son of the mayor is having his bachelor party here tonight. And we agreed to supply a specially customized group routine for him. We’re still finalizing and rehearsing it. We just needed a warm male body, so today’s your lucky day!” Sierra explained

“oh- wow, that’s, um neat. I’m glad I could help.” stuttered Steven, his face blushing red in full display of the scantily clad women.

Cynthia, the roughly 5’2″ redhead, returned to the stage after checking her phone.

“Looks like Krystal’s running late again. Says she was out with a guy late last night and slept in at his place.” Cynthia said, sighing

“Drat, oh well. Let’s start without her. We’ll have to skip to later in the routine after we’ve already removed his pants.” Upon hearing Sierra utter these words, Steven’s nervousness spiraled out of control. His face was now completely blushing a dark red, his hands sweating profusely, and his dick firmly erect.

“Oh! um, I didn’t know *that* would be a part of this.” Steven said, probably louder than he intended. Cynthia only chuckled as she bent down in front of his crotch.

“Heh. It’s okay, man. You don’t need to pretend that you haven’t been dying to whip it out this whole time.” Next, Cynthia began unbuckling Steven’s belt, followed by the top button and then the zipper. Finally, Steven’s pants fell to the floor, leaving only his boxer briefs left.

“Now, let’s just how big that snake is. I can see the outline of it now. Not bad, considering it’s soft.”

While obstructing the view of every other woman in the room, Cynthia bends down Steven’s underwear and gets the first look. Upon seeing Steven’s penis, her face goes pale, and her jaw hangs open. Sierra, who can see the look on Cynthia’s face, but not the dick it looks at, asks,

“Wow, Cynthia! Must be pretty big to catch *you* off guard.” Cynthia blankly responds,

“Just come see for yourself.” Cynthia signals to Sierra. Sierra excitedly walks over. But upon seeing Steven’s erect penis, she reflexively burst out laughing. Upon seeing the exaggerated reactions, the group of strippers gets up from their seats and hurries to the stage. Upon seeing Steven’s “cock,” they each break out into their own poor attempts at stifling laughs and shooting each other the pinky and the pinched finger signal.

Despite all their laughter, Sierra’s reaction was still undoubtedly, the most extreme. As she starts to come down, she asks Steven,

“Oh, my god, dude, why is it only three inches?”

Steven, his ego now in shambles, reflexively responds,

“It’s three *and a half*!” But, unfortunately, this (dishonest) response only gave the laughter a second life. After the first shock, Sierra began feeling bad.

“I’m so sorry. I know I shouldn’t laugh. It’s unprofessional. But we’ve all been so stressed preparing for tonight, and like, we really needed this laugh, thank you.” She cried before laughing more. The only one not laughing is Cynthia, who shakes her head in pity aside from Steven.

“Yeah, I would normally never say this because it’s bad practice as a dancer. But yeah, that’s the smallest cock I’ve ever come across in my career. In fact, calling it a ‘cock’ almost feels wrong.”

Steven, in a doomed attempt at saving face, says, “well, I’m pretty sure my girlfriend thinks it’s average.” Which lets out another snort from Sierra.

“Well, I guess that’s what’s important. Alright, girls, fun is fun, but we got work to do.” Cynthia directed, trying to get back on schedule.

“Oh-okay, just one quick thing.” Sierra reaches into her purse and gets close to Steven’s penis, which was erect, likely from the adrenaline rush of being humiliated more than arousal at this point. She takes a selfie with Steven’s penis while shooting the small penis ‘pinch’ symbol with her hands. This reignited laughter among the other strippers, some of whom worked their way back to the stage to take their own pictures with the tiny specimen. Steven clearly overwhelmed, just staring on hopelessly.

“Alright. **now** that we’ve gotten it out of our system, let’s finally work the second half of our routine. When Krystal shows up, we’ll work the first half with the chair. Wendy hit the music.”

One of the strippers hurries to the DJ booth and hits a preset that starts the music and the lighting. With Sierra, Cynthia, and a cuffed Steven, the only ones on stage, the routine begins. The focus finally is taken off his insecurity. Steven began to enjoy himself. He could feel Cynthia’s soft skin on his as she worked her leg over his right shoulder. And he could see Sierra’s plentiful tits hang as she danced in front of him. The two worked their routine for a minute or two, with a little affair, aside from Sierra stifling a quick laugh once or twice. They then switched things up to where Cynthia was now behind Steven, her hands caressing his neck and face, and Sierra in front of Steven, bent over as such to work her plump ass over his crotch. She had to bent overdramatically as the 5’10” woman towered over the 5’8″ man in her heels. Her ass, wearing nothing but a lacy thong, quickly engulfed his minuscule package. The music hit a speedy part as if to signal Sierra to twerk on his dick. Still, instead, she just slowly rubbed it around as if confused. As this went on for the entirety of the twerking segment, Cynthia noticed that something was wrong.

“Okay, just cut the music there, Wendy!” She yelled. The lights returned to normal, and the music stopped. The strippers in the audience began muttering among themselves as the show ended.

“What’s wrong, Sierra? You were supposed to do the twerking bit. You said you were able to stroke him off with your ass.” Cynthia inquired at Sierra.

“I’m *trying*,” Sierra returned, giggling towards the end. “I can usually do it.”

Cynthia persisted, “Then why are you just slowly rubbing?”

Sierra at once blurts out, “*Because I can’t find his dick in my ass! *.” She stands up and gets off Steven’s crotch. She returns to her earlier laughter. She turns around and returns to looking at Steven’s dick and laughing. The strippers sitting front row also return to their own, slightly muted laughter.

“Alright, you know what. Just practice now with the music and lights off; you’ll figure it out.” Cynthia ordered Sierra. Sierra returned to slowly rubbing her ass on Steven’s crotch in an attempt at grasping his dick within her ass cheeks. Sure, to Cynthia’s words, she began to get a better hold of it. After about 10 minutes of this, Steven hears Sierra say while looking out into the audience, “Oh, hey, Krystal!”.

Sierra once again stood up to get off Steven. Steven curiously looked out to see the stripper, apparently, Krystal, who was now making her way to the stage. Cynthia went off stage to grab a chair. Krystal, a cute brunette with long legs, despite being just around 5’6″, made her way to the stage as Sierra continued to make conversation with her.

“I heard you got some dick last night?” Sierra nudged.

“Yeah, I know. But, I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting to…” But, unfortunately, Krystal’s explanation was cut off after she made eye contact with Steven.

“*Katie? *”, Steven, shocked, said the name of his girlfriend he saw the night before.

“*Steven? *” Katie/Krystal retorted with an equal level of shock, with an additional bit of disappointment in her voice.

“What are *you* doing here?” they both said, almost in perfect sync.

Cynthia returns with a chair and plants it beneath Steven’s behind as he stood in shock, still handcuffed to the pole.

“Working on Krystal’s chair routine. That’s what you’re both doing here.”

Sierra, realizing what just transpired, said, “Wait, you two know each other? Well, I guess Krystal’s getting to know a lot more of him now.” Sierra giggled. “Or should I say a lot *less* of him?” Sierra walked off stage, laughing even louder at her own joke, which only halfway made sense.

With Katie/Krystal and Steven still in shock, Cynthia signals to Wendy to hit the lights and music again, and quickly Krystal started her chair routine. Not pretending everything is normal, Steven says to Katie over the music,

“What are you doing as a stripper? You didn’t tell me this?” Steven asked.

“Well, what are *you* doing at a strip club?” Katie shoots back.

“I’m trying to get some action after you totally blue balled me last night.”

All while this couple’s feud broke out, Krystal continued her routine. It started as a vanilla lap dance. She hung held the pole as leverage as she hung B Cup breasts in her boyfriend’s face. Then turned around to display him her cute ass pressed up against his meager dick. Finally, she stands up and turns around, this time sitting on his lap.

“And what’s this about Cynthia saying you fucked some guy last night? Why did you do that?” Steven asked, clearly hurt.

“Look, I was just really in the mood last night, so I just met a guy off Tinder to just – “Just as Katie began to wrap her thighs around Steven’s penis, he cut off her sentence halfway through?”

“If you were in the mood, then why did you leave my place two seconds after seeing my dick?!” Steven’s voice raised just as the music was fading out, and the stage lights dimmed. Then, as the silence began to take over and the house lights turned back on, Katie answered Steven’s question loud enough for every stripper in the building to hear.

“I was afraid I would end up laughing at your tiny dick.”

As the crowd began to erupt in laughter and sneers (most loudly Sierra’s), Krystal’s thighs had been gripping Stevens tighter than she realized. Shortly after the crowd quieted down, Steven let out a groan, and his dick shot out a small and unimpressive orgasm, with what little semen there was, coating his girlfriend’s thighs. To break the stunning and extensive silence, Sierra sneered,

“Well, I guess small things do come out of small packages.

The End.


*This story has been edited to fix spelling, punctuation, & basic grammar, but the narrative and plot have remained the same. Just remember, even with the limited editing we do, it doesn’t mean any possible major flaws in this story were fixed.

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