The Seven Stages of Corporate Hell
A week later, I got an email inviting me to an interview. I got a time and date there was no option to change the date if it wasn’t suitable, so I had to ask for that day off. The interview went well I had to sit in front of a panel of five people, and they asked too many questions about every aspect of my life.
I didn’t think I got the job, but I got an email saying congratulations two days later. I passed the first interview and was invited to a second interview. Again, it came with a date and time and no information on what to do if it’s unsuitable. Luckily, I was free that day. I went to the interview, and I had to sit with about fifty other people and watch a presentation video about the company. Then we got separated into groups for activities. I had to sit two relatively easy exams and have a one-to-one interview.
Later that evening, I got an email saying congratulations. I have passed the second stage and booked in for a medical assessment. It just advised it will be no longer than three hours and I need to report to the front desk of the main factory at the time and date shown. It was for two days. The next day, I got a call to remind me about the assessment, and I got told I still needed to come smartly dressed and the evaluation would be intrusive. It said I would be required to be naked several times and involve blood test x-rays and urine samples. I thought it wouldn’t be that bad, maybe a quick naked whatever checks, and it’s all over. And for that kind of pay, it’s worth that little bit of embarrassment.
The next day, I turned up on time, reported to reception, and showed her my driver’s license and copy of the email appointment letter. The woman wrote my name on a visitor’s name badge and gave me a little map card that had instructions on reaching the medical department. She said, “Read the card and follow the rules on it. It’s a ten-minute walk from here to the medical facility. You have fifteen minutes to get there on your own and follow the map. If you get there late, they may not see you. Just bear that in mind,” and she buzzed the big door to open for me.
I followed the instructions on the map, and the place was huge. It felt it was miles and miles of corridors. I finally made it to the medical facility. I walked in and showed my driver’s license. The woman took me into a room and asked me to strip off everything, including my underwear. She told me to remove all metal objects like chains, rings, watches, etc., put everything in a locker, and put the key (attached to a wristband) onto my left wrist.
She left me to get changed, and I did as instructed. And I went back to the receptionist in my robe, and she called someone to let them know I was here and ready.
A man came a few minutes later, saying he was one of the assessors for the medical examinations, and explained that although it’s medical, it’s also still part of the interview process, so other things are attached to the process. It might seem odd, but when I see the bigger picture, it all makes sense, and I will go through seven modules that will assess my health and different areas.
“Do you have any questions?” he asked.
“No,” I said.
He led me down a corridor and told me to sit outside a room while he went in and handed over my file to whoever was inside. He came back out and said good luck, and he might see me at the end when I’ve finished, but if he doesn’t, I will know either way within a week.
So here’s how my seven modules of embarrassing hell went.
The door opened, and a pretty blonde invited me in and introduced herself as a doctor and introduced the nurse, who was another pretty blonde. They sat me down and gave me a glass of water to help me provide a urine sample later, and asked me a million health-related questions. I had never even heard of most of the illnesses they asked if I had or ever had. They asked loads of embarrassing questions, and I had to answer honestly. They asked:
Are you married? I said no.
In a relationship? I said no.
Planning on getting married in the next five years? I said I don’t know.
Is penis size flaccid? I said one inch (They both gave a slight smile.)
What is your penis size erect? I said three inches (They’re still smiling.)
Are there any deformities in your penis? I said no.
Do you have any sexual diseases? I said no.
Have you had any sexual diseases or transmissions in the past? I said no.
Are you sexually active? If yes, how often do you have sex? I said no, and I don’t have sex.
How often do you masturbate once a month, weekly, or daily? I said daily
How many times a day? Once, twice, three times? More than three times? I mainly said twice a day.
They were smiling while they asked these questions. And that were just a few. Based on my penis and sex life, there must have been over five hundred questions covering loads of scenarios and health-related queries. The doctor then said she needed to do my height and weight, so I needed to take off my robe and stand on the scale. I got up and nervously took off my robe, walked over to the scales, and stood on them, facing away from the dr and nurse. The nurse said I needed to turn around and face them. So I turned around, and she said, “Head up slightly, please, and hands to your sides.”
So I moved my hands from my penis, and I stood still while she moved to height level down and told the doctor the height and weight. They both were smiling at each other while I stood on the scales. She then sat me down naked, checked my blood pressure and eyes and ears, and listened to my heart and breathing. I was then allowed to put my robe on. And she said, “That’s all I need. You need to go to the next room down the corridor, and if the light is green, you can knock and go in. If it’s red, take a seat outside until you get called.”
I said thank you and went to shake her hand.
“No handshakes,’ she said. “You were touching your privates when you were covering up, so you need to try not to touch them and don’t offer your hand. It could go against you in the scoring.”
I felt even more embarrassed and apologized and took a squirt of hand sanitizer on my way out.
I approached the next door. It said two on it, and the light was green, so I knocked and entered. A male doctor greeted me in his 40s and a nurse in her late 20s. I handed him my folder I was told to pass to him. And he told me to disrobe and sit on the bed. He checked my hands and feet and tapped my legs with a little hammer. He then told me to stand on a mat and bend backward as far as possible without falling over.
It was very embarrassing. As I was doing it, I was pushing my hips out towards the nurse, and she was getting a good view of my penis. I then bent over, tried to touch my feet, and spread my legs wide. I then had to lie on the mat and do leg raises to see how far I could lift my legs without bending them. Then lift my legs and separate them as far as I could, which I found very degrading as they were both standing near my feet, so they were getting a good look at my tiny dick and balls when I separated my legs.
I then had to lie on my stomach, keep my hips on the mat, and use my arms to lift my upper body as far as I could. After that, I was told to get up and put my robe on, and he asked me a few questions, and I was sent to the next room.
I was finding the whole experience very degrading as if I wasn’t even human. I felt like a sheep or animal being vetted to be sold. I got to room number three, and the green light was on, and I knocked and entered. Two attractive women greeted me. Neither introduced themselves, and they just told me to take off my robe and lie on the bed.
I got on the bed, and they were both smiling. And they came over, and the younger one moved my hand, and the older one started feeling my stomach and asked, “Have you had a hernia or any medical issues?”
I said no. she then felt my groin. I looked up at them, and they were both grinning away, probably at my tiny penis. She asked me a few questions and felt my arms, legs, chest, feet, and back and was looking for anything unusual, I was guessing. She told me to get dressed while she filled in the paperwork and handed me the file, and I was off to module four. That was the shortest one so far but still embarrassing.
The room was greenlit, so I knocked and entered. A cute nurse met me. She handed me a container and told me to leave the robe outside for hygiene reasons and not take it into the toilet. There were hooks for hanging, and it was out of view of the main room, so it was OK. No one could see me naked as I unrobed and went into the toilet. I left the sample in the bathroom as instructed, put on the robe, and went back to her. And she sat me down and asked a few questions and said she needed to do a blood sample.
I had to undo my robe to get my arm out, so she got a quick flash of my dick. She didn’t react. She took the blood sample and signed and filled her section of the report. She said, “When you leave here and get to the end of the corridor, you will see the corridor splits left and right and is painted blue and pink. It would help if you turned left into the blue corridor. The pink corridor is for women only. As you get around the first corner, you will see a row of hooks. You need to hang up your robe there and continue naked to the last three modules.”
She saw I was looking a bit anxious.
“It’s OK. It’s a one-way system. You won’t see anyone else as long as everyone is on time and don’t go the wrong way. You won’t see anyone else, and you will end up back in your robe after the last room.”
I walked down the blue corridor and came to the hooks, and I took off my robe, put a hand over my dick, and walked to the next door. I knocked and entered. I was met by two stunning Asian nurses who looked Indian or Arabic. One of them said her name was Jazmin, and I instantly thought of Jazmin from the Aladdin cartoons as she looked a bit like her. She looked me up and down a few times and said she just needed a chest x-ray and told me to take off my key wristband, place it on the side, and go to the x-ray machine.
I stood against the wall, and she lowered the machine and told me to put my hands on my hips and be still. They took the xrays, filled in the file, and smiled away while chatting with me. I said, “This experience is very bizarre.”
I didn’t want to say anything negative. They said, “Yeah, it is, but we need to make sure we hire the best and most suitable people for the roles, and it’s only once a year.”
“This happens annually?”
Jazmin replied, “Yes, everyone has to do this assessment yearly. But it’s for their benefit. For example, if we assess someone with bad legs or leg-related injury or disease, we can recommend them to a sitting job or a more suitable role to help them. Then they aren’t suffering needlessly or making their health worse.”
I said, “I didn’t think of that.”
“Over five thousand people work here plus all the new assessments like yourself. We see about thirty to forty people a day. It’s always busy here.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of people every day. Do the people who come for their annual assessments have to be naked as well?” ( I was querying if I will have to do this naked again next year if I get the job).
She laughed, glancing at my dick quickly. “Every guy who comes through that door is naked as the day they were born.”
The other nurse said, “Some have said that we’re the only people after their parents to see them fully naked as they’ve never had any relationships.”
We all laughed, and Jazmin handed me the file, saying, “Y need to go, or you will be late and will be penalized for it.”
I walked out of the x-ray room thinking those two were so hot, and the smiling looks they were giving me while glancing at my dick was such a buzz. It was embarrassing and degrading, but those two were so pretty, and I had a bit of a chat with them, so I felt a bit of a connection with them in this otherwise cold, degrading corporate hell maze.
I walked into the room and was met by three gorgeous nurses. I felt a bit intimidated. They were all beauties. I thought I hadn’t met a single average-looking woman so far. Each one is like a supermodel. I could feel my dick getting nervous and trying to bury itself into my crotch, and I was thinking in my head, ‘No, please come out a little bit. Don’t embarrass me any more than I already am.’ I handed the file to the nearest nurse, and she asked a few questions about my lifestyle and fitness.
Looking around the room, I could see s treadmill and an exercise bike, a rowing machine, weights, a gym ball, and other exercise stuff. I was standing naked in front of them, and they all kept looking me up and down with weird little smiles.
The nurse told me to get on the treadmill, started it, and stood to my side as I walked. I could see her keep looking at my barely visible penis. She had set the timer for five minutes, and I had a heart monitor on, and she increased the speed every minute. I could feel the other two nurses behind me staring at my bum, wobbling as I walked (could have been paranoia). One of the nurses came and stood on the other side of me and asked how I was doing. She was staring at my dick.
“I’m OK, I said.
“Do you want a drink when you finish?”
“Water or orange squash?”
I said, “Squash, please,” and she went off to get me the drink.
The five minutes were up, and I had to stand still and breathe for sixty seconds to see how much my heart recovered. I got off the treadmill, and the head nurse inspected me for how much sweat I had on my body and made a few notes on my file. The nurse gave me my drink, and it was nice and cold. She then put a towel on the bike and told me to get on it. She told me to get it to a certain speed and maintain that speed for sixty seconds.
I was sweating like crazy, and I looked down, and my dick had abandoned me. I couldn’t see it, and I guess the nurses noticed as well. They were looking and smiling. After I recovered, I had to lift a few light weights and do a few exercises with the big gym ball, the most embarrassing being lying on it and rolling back on it so my back was arched. I could hear them whispering. I couldn’t see them because of the way I was arched, but they were standing right over my dick and were getting a good view.
They helped me up and let me finish my drink before moving on to the last module.
I knocked and entered, and a pretty black nurse greeted me with huge boobs who just smiled, looking down at my penis. She went and handed the doctor my file. The doctor was a guy in his 50s. He told me to stand against the wall, hands to my side, and he just sat observing me and looking at the notes so far in my file. He told me to turn around, and it felt like forever. I turned around again, and they were both smirking while he was writing in my file.
The nurse told me to stand on the scales and did my height again, and I had to try and touch my toes again. The doctor said, “I’m just making sure everything is correct before I sign for everything in the file and send it to HR once the blood and x-ray reports are back.” He spent ages writing stuff in my file, and the nurse gently laughed at me. It felt like forever, but it was only about fifteen minutes. He asked a couple of questions and said, “You can go now.”
I could have skipped this module easily. I just had to stand naked while he did his section. He could have filled it without me being present or naked.
I walked out, thanking him for his time (and silently thanking him for all the humiliation). I walked around the corner, and I was back in my robe. I put on my robe and followed the arrows back to reception. The receptionist had a massive smile on her face knowing the hell I had just been through and probably been told how tiny I am (being paranoid again).
I got changed, and the receptionist said I should hear the outcome within a week.
I went home and told my family about the procedure I went through they all laughed my brother said, “That would be embarrassing for normal guys. I can only imagine how it would feel for tiny dick guys like you.”
My dad just sat laughing. “I hope you get the job after all that humiliation,” he said.
My mum said, “Don’t take it personally. Women find male genitalia funny. It doesn’t matter if they are big or small. But if it’s small, they have a valid reason to laugh or smile, but that’s how women are.”
My family knows I’m tiny, but it’s our family secret. No one else knows, but they made jokes of it for weeks after.
A few days later, I got an email saying I didn’t get the job. I was disappointed, but I was glad I didn’t get it, as the experience made me feel so worthless, and I got the feeling my personhood didn’t matter to anyone. I was just a tool to be used until I had nothing left to give and be thrown out and replaced. I would have loved the money, but it wasn’t for me. I often think about those ‘professional’ people who were smirking and laughing at me and imagine the thoughts going through their heads and what they probably said about me after I left.
*This story has been edited to fix spelling, punctuation, & basic grammar, but the narrative and plot have remained the same. Remember, even with limited editing. It doesn’t mean any possible major flaws in this story were fixed.