Our Readers SPH Experiences: Small Dave Again
By Small Dave.
My mother knew something was up. She asked me what was wrong many times. We talked about the changes I was going through and had frank discussions about sex, girls, masturbation. Eventually, I felt able to tell her what my problem was. One night when she was sitting on my bed, I told her my penis was too small.
She assured me that lots of boys worry about that. She even admitted that my dad was even worried about it. Which, as she pointed out, was silly because she had married him, and they’d had a wonderful son.
Mum told me she was sure it was fine and that I was worrying about nothing. I tried to appear assured by her words, but my real feelings were all too apparent. She suggested that I show her so she could see for herself, and then perhaps I would believe her when she told me not to worry.
Mum had looked at my penis and balls before. Not in a weird way. I had a rash when my balls got injured, falling off a bicycle when I had painful growing pains, so it didn’t seem totally out of place. But I was in the middle of puberty, and everything was about sex, exciting and embarrassing, so I was nervous. Also, in this situation, my mother sitting on my bed with her breasts close to me, talking with her about sex, the thought of being exposed to her gaze had made my penis erect, and I couldn’t make it go away.
She knew I was finding this difficult, so she adopted a breezy nurse-like matter-of-fact manner and took control. She told me she’d seen it all before, then told me to stand up and pull my shorts down. I stood up then became shy, so she pulled my shorts down.
She paused for a long time then said: “Oh. Yes. No, it’s fine. Don’t worry. You can put your pants back on, honey. And stop worrying.”
I got back into bed. She hugged me. I saw her try to hide a smile, suppress a laugh. I went red and asked her what was funny. She composed herself and smiled at me.
“Sorry darling, It’s not funny. It’s fine. It’s not very big but doesn’t worry. You take after your father. He doesn’t have a big penis, and I’ve never complained, have I?”
I tried to feel reassured.
“So it’s the same size as dad’s?”
“Well, nearly. It’s smaller than your dad’s. But you might still be growing. I didn’t know your father when he was your age. Anyway, the main thing is not to worry about it. You’ve got so many wonderful things to be grateful for – you’re clever, you’re kind and thoughtful, you can paint and play the piano, and you write those lovely poems that I like.”
She sensed my disappointment, my shame. She kissed me and ruffled my hair.
“And you’re very handsome and charming.” I flushed a little.
She patted the bulge of the duvet made by my erection. She let her hand rest there and winked at me.
“And, however small it is, it’s obviously all in good working order. That’s what really matters.”
She kissed my cheek, and we hugged. I put my arms around her. Her breasts pressed against me. When she went to stand up, I held on and wouldn’t let go straight away.
“No, come on, let mum go. Naughty boy.” She giggled as she sat up.
“I think I better say goodnight and leave you to have a bit of private time. Have fun!”
I called her back before she left my bedroom.
“Mum. Promise you won’t tell anyone. Please.”
She laughed and said, “Oh, you poor thing. Of course, I won’t tell anyone. My lips are sealed.”
As soon as she was gone, I felt an intense disappointment, shame, and anger: anger at the unfairness of it all, anger and shame at my body, angry and envious of every other boy. I felt angry at my mother for her concealed scorn, for her attempts to make me feel better, at her knowing my shame, at her flirtation and sexual innuendo. And of course, I felt very, very aroused. I masturbated, thinking of mum laughing at me.
Although mum’s words hadn’t been very encouraging, I actually did stop worrying so much. Maybe it was just the effect of having shared my worries that made me feel unburdened, but I did become a little less shy and self-conscious amongst my friends.
In the weeks after our chat, mum made an effort to praise me and make me feel good. She flirted with me in a very motherly way, telling me what a sexy little guy I was. She even left some tissues on my bedside cabinet and commented on my youthful sex drive.
So I began to feel pretty good about myself. I started to hear mum and dad having sex at night, which I’d never heard before. She was very loud when they fucked, going on about his wonderful cock. She sounded exactly like the female porn stars in the videos I watched online. I thought over what she’d said about being happy with dad’s little cock and how mine would probably grow to be like his. Of course, it would.
*****
Some weeks later, we went to stay with mum’s sister: my Auntie Ruth, and her two daughters: Rosie and Flo. They lived in the next town, and we’d always stayed the night when we visited, ever since I was a child.
Ruth was divorced and really fun. She was just like mum but naughtier. When the two sisters got together, they drank and talked and danced and stayed up late. Dad usually stayed at home. He always said that mum and Ruth were too much for him.
Rosie was a year older than me and Flo the same age. But they both always seemed older and more experienced than me. Their mum told them things my mum didn’t tell me, maybe because they were daughters.
We had sleepovers when we were little, and they encouraged me to be naughtier than I would at home. When mum was at her sister’s, she wasn’t as strict as at home. I enjoyed following my naughty cousins on adventures.
As we got older, their bedrooms went from being full of dolls and toys and became pink perfumed places of adolescent excitement. They were full of posters of rock and pop stars, music, girls’ magazines, perfume, dresses, knickers, bras, high heel shoes, makeup, and stories.
Whenever I went to stay with what I thought was the latest music and fashion, they were ahead of me. As we became teens, they smuggled alcohol and cigarettes from their mum. They were so worldly and told me about boyfriends and sex, about girls who’d got pregnant and girls who got caught having sex at school.
They shocked and excited me with descriptions of blowjobs and handjobs and which boys had the biggest dicks. They told me about which boys they teased because they had little dicks. Because I was their cousin, they told me things they never told other boys. They said I was an honorary girlfriend and that I should be honored. I was. I wouldn’t have liked any of my friends to see me giggling and gossiping and dancing with my cousins. But I could be different at their house, and I loved it.
Mum did have one rule. I had to sleep in Flo’s room while Flo shared a bed with Rosie. And we were never allowed to stay up after midnight. Which we said was unfair because mum and Ruth stayed up drinking till late.
“It’s because you’re a boy. They don’t trust you. Our mums think you’d take advantage of us and force yourself on your poor innocent girl cousins.” Explained Rosie one night. They thought that was hilarious. Flo gave me a look of pretend innocence: “Imagine, our beastly cousin, overpowering us and having his evil way, making us act out all manner of depraved sex acts.”
I laughed along with them and tried to conceal how arousing the idea was.
On this occasion, I was really excited to stay with them. We stayed for two nights because mum and I had to visit some of her elderly relatives who lived in the same town.
Auntie Ruth persuaded mum to let me drink alcohol. She was flirtatious with me, telling mum what a handsome young man I was and how big I’d grown.
This made the girls giggle. Everything was a sexual innuendo to them.
Auntie Ruth shook her head and smiled.
“Stop it, girls. I didn’t mean ‘big’ like that. Although I’m sure, he has grown big there as well.”
I went red at that comment. Mum went silent and gave me a funny look which Auntie Ruth saw. She rolled her eyes at mum in a quizzical way. Mum shook her head at her then told my cousins and me to go upstairs so they could talk.
We chatted and played records and exchanged stories about school and friends. We had an early night because we were staying the next night. We heard Mum and Ruth talking downstairs.
*****
The next day mum and I visited her relatives while my aunt and cousins stayed at home. My day was really boring, and I was excited to get back to Rosie and Flo.
They’d prepared a meal and were already drinking wine when we got there. After dinner, the girls dragged me upstairs as usual. They had some vodka and prosecco tucked away, which we glugged. They behaved more sexy than usual. They showed me their latest outfits and asked if I liked them. I did. They giggled and looked at my crotch. They asked me if I would like to see more. They stripped down to their bras and panties and posed in front of me. We drank more vodka.
Rosie smiled at me: “You can see more, but you have to show us something first.”
Flo joined in: “Yeah, cuz, we’ll show you ours if you show us yours. That’s more than fair. Two for the price of one!”
My drunkenness and excitement overcame my shyness and worries about the size of my dick. So I stood up and took off all of my clothes.
As soon as they saw my dick, they burst into laughter.
“It’s true what mum said. Oh my god. It’s so small.”
I went really red and asked what they meant.
“Your mum told our mum last night. And she told us today. We just needed to see it for ourselves.”
They teased me a little until I began to cry. Then they told me it was okay and to stop crying.
“Aah. Come on. We still love you. You’ve always been our special sister, our honorary girl cousin.”
I didn’t mind them knowing how small my penis was. I had always been able to relax and let my guard down with them. I didn’t need to pretend to be hard or macho or cynical or unemotional in their company. I could be myself, and they loved me for myself.
I was still cross with mum for telling my aunt when she’d promised not to. In the car on the way home the next day, I told her that Rosie and Flo had teased me and made me show them my willy because Auntie Ruth and told them that she had told her that I had a tiny penis. I asked her why she’d told her sister when she’d promised not to.
Mum just laughed and said sorry.
The End.
