Life’s tough when you have a small dick. Even if it’s a perfectly nice dick, and maybe pound for pound the world’s mightiest dick, no guy seems to be proud to say he has a small one. Some people, unwilling to accept the hand dealt by mother nature, may pursue medical intervention to cosmetically enhance a tiny penis. If this describes you — and we advocate against it — be sure to confirm the credentials of the “doctors” operating on your equipment, lest you end up with a useless stump like this hairdresser in Florida.

The story goes like this: The hairdresser, mercifully unnamed, was unhappy with his small penis. He approached one Nery Carvajal, who attempted to inject a filler into his penis to enlarge it. The only issue was that Carvajal was not licensed to practice any sort of medicine at the time (it’s unclear if she ever was), so the hairdresser was unsatisfied with the results, to say the least. Fine, NBD. Just get it un-injected, right? Well…

The hairdresser was introduced to Mark Schreiber, a man who was at one time a licensed surgeon in the state of Florida. Spoiler alert, he didn’t lose his license because he absent-mindedly forgot to renew it. Two people died on his operating table (in 1998 and 2002), and countless other complaints led to his license being permanently revoked in 2008.

An enterprising man, Schreiber nonetheless accepted $1,000 cash to reverse the hairdresser’s botched injection procedure, which he did in only the most technical sense. The hairdresser’s penis is back to being small again, sure, but now it’s mutilated, partially skinless and he can’t feel anything when he pees. Random erections are painful, not that they’d do him much good anyway.

While Carvajal is still at large, police eventually caught up with and arrested Schreiber, who told the hairdresser his mangled penis was normal and to “just put two sticks [on] either side of his penis and wrap it up to keep it straight.” He’s being held on a felony count of unlicensed practice of health care causing serious injury, and a raid of his home discovered materials that suggested he’s been performing more unlicensed surgeries on unsuspecting patients.

Give your tiny wang a little extra love today. Be proud of it.

Own The Conversation

Ask The Big Question: What drives a man to think he can still somehow help people when it’s obvious that he can’t?

Disrupt Your Feed: When it comes to penis enlargement surgeries, you get what you pay for.

Drop This Fact: The American Urologic Association states that no procedures have been shown to be safe or effective for increasing the thickness or length of the penis in an adult.

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