Part 5…

It was now 1 PM, and Diego was wide awake. He was positive of this. After he got almost the entire stock of various different caffeinated sodas, plus a few cases of electrolyte water so he didn’t dehydrate, from his grocery delivery, he went to work. He scoured the internet for anything he could find on The Mistress.

So far, all he saw was stuff about finding a Mistress, a Doctor Who villain, and a couple of foreign movies. He tried googling how to beat a succubus. Most answers were either video game-related or more metaphorical than anything.

He tried to get a spirit cleansing but all it involved was meditation and burning sage. All that did was relax him and the last thing he wanted to be was relaxed. If he relaxed, he might fall asleep and if he fell asleep…

He did not want to fall asleep. He wasn’t fully possessed so an exorcism wouldn’t do anything. He wasn’t a very religious man and didn’t have a single bible or cross in his house. In retrospect, while that might’ve helped, he wasn’t able to get one at the moment.

He wasn’t really able to do much of anything. He tried to keep himself occupied with anything he could aside from sleeping. He might truly be stuck with her. He just tried to live his life. But it was hard when the threat of falling asleep and getting trapped in yet another dream was constantly looming over him.

The thought of losing his soul to her was terrible. The thought of being unable to stop her was horrible. The thought of whatever she was going to do next was unbearable. But the worst part about this whole thing by far was-

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! WHEN DO WE GET TO THE PART WHERE I TAKE HIS SOUL!? I’M BORED JUST STICKING AROUND IN THIS IDIOT’S SKULL!”

…the worst part was the fact that she WOULD NOT SHUT UP!!

“Look, you know for a fact I’m livening up this story far more than you ever could.”

You’re giving both me and Diego a migraine if that’s what you mean. Could you just stop this and go back to the story? The sooner you let me finish the sooner we’ll get to that part that you want I’m sure I’m going to write.

“You’d better!”

Right, right…anyway. As Diego was trying his best to not be annoyed by her constant talking, he was looking for more ways to try and stop her. He typed away on his laptop trying to find anything on her.

“Psst…hey…Diego.”

He didn’t respond.

“…Diego…”

…

“DiegoDiegoDiegoDiegoDiegoiegoDi-”

“WHAT!?”

“You sleepy yet?”

“NO!”

…

“How about now?”

He groaned…”Well, you’re getting me tired…of you if nothing else.”

“I knew I would. Why don’t you hop in bed? Maybe you’ll come up with a way to stop me in your dreams…hehehehe.”

“How old are you exactly?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Cause you’re acting like an annoying little child! Surprised you haven’t asked me what games are on my phone yet.”

“Oh please, I’m having fun driving you crazy. You’ll crack eventually.”

“What makes you think annoying me is going to make me want to sleep?”

“Oh…it will. This works a lot better than you think. You’ll be drifting off to dreamland before you know it. Right into my clutches…”

“Well good luck, even without you in my life, I always had trouble falling asleep.”

“Ooh, do tell.”

“It usually takes 10 mg of melatonin and my night meds to knock me out.”

“Your night meds?”

“Yeah, my anxiety medication doubles as a sleeping pill. But I’m not taking it, so I won’t sleep! So, HA!”

“Oh yeah, that sounds healthy. You’ve sure shown me.”

“Right, so how about you just shut up and let me find something to get rid of you.”

She growled a bit as she started to talk in a much deeper demonic tone.”You’re only delaying the inevitable. Just go to sleep.”

“Or what? You can’t do a thing to me while I’m awake.”

“But you will sleep and then I’ll do all the things!”

“Like what?”

“Go to bed and find out.”

“NO!”

After a few hours he took a break and played some games to keep himself occupied. He ordered a couple of pizzas (along with more soda) and basically had a 1 man party. Soon it was midnight. As he was binge watching one of his favorite shows, he started to yawn.

As his eyes got heavy, he swore he felt something next to him. He felt a clawed hand gently scratch his neck. “Enjoying the show, Diego?”

He looked to the side and jumped out of his seat as he saw her sitting next to him. But before she could dust him to sleep, he got a can of soda from an ice chest next to where he was sitting and chugged it. Soon she disappeared once more.

“Nice try, Missy!”

“Grrrrrr! JUST GO TO BED ALREADY!”

“NEVER!”

“COME ON! WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT!?”

“I like having my soul where it is, thank you.”

“It would be much better with me! Think about it. You’d never be bored and I can make all your fantasies come true…I know you liked having that tiny dick teased on that stage.”

He blushed a bit as she started to recap his previous dreams.

“When you were being painted by one of my idiot minions and you came in her hair…”

He chuckled at that one but quickly composed himself.

“I know for a fact you wuved it when my nails scratched your little puppy boy neck and you showed off your puppy tummy for those girls…” she said, cooing to him in a way that made him shiver.

“Oh and of course that bit at the sea show. You and that slippery little teenie weenie, on display, in front of thousands. That was fun for me too.”

“IT WASN’T FUN FOR ME! NONE OF THOSE WERE!”

“Then why did your heart start to race just now? I can see your thoughts you know…and the fact that something in those pajama bottoms is moving…”

“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! I don’t want to be humiliated! I just want to be left alone.”

“Come on! We’ll have lots of fun…untilIgetboredofyouandyourotinhell.”

“NEVER!”

“Fine, be that way! You’ll get sleepy eventually…”

And so Diego kept on staying awake. A steady stream of caffeine, loud music, video games and junk food kept him up. It worked great…for the first day.

Around the second day is where things took a turn.

Now sitting his couch at around 6 in the morning, he was twitchy. Every little sound started to get to him and his heart rate was through the roof. He knew he needed to relax, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t dare. And yet…he was still tired.

Though the caffeine kept her inside his head, he was exhausted. As he watched anything he could to keep himself awake he heard her taunting him again.

“So…ready for bed now?”

He drank another soda and tossed the can into a pile next to him.

“I said, are you ready for bed now?”

“No I’m not!”

He drank another one.

“I think you are…”

“I just drank an entire 12 pack…how do I still hear you!?”

“Aww…is someone building up a tolerance to caffeine?”

“N-no…it’s just that this stuff isn’t strong enough. I need something more, something better, something to shut you up for good.”

“I’m pretty sure most everything you’ll find isn’t strong enough…like it or not, you. need. sleep.”

“No I don’t!”

“Yes, you do~”

He slapped himself a few times. He had to think of something to keep his mind active.

“I know! How about some fun facts about sleeping. That’ll get you in the mood for a good loooooooong nap. Hehehe…”

“I don’t really care ab-”

“Did you know that the world record for most time gone without sleep is around 18 days?”

“Heh…really? Well, I’d better give Guinness a call cause I’m gonna break that record easy!”

“Doubt it, he had people watching him to make sure he didn’t nod off and even then he wasn’t trying to break that record. He was going for longest time rocking in a rocking chair. Even then Guinness doesn’t accept that record anymore, on account of the fact that lack of sleep can and will kill you.

Oh and hey…aren’t we close to the 3 day mark right now? That’s the point where hallucinations typically occur. You’ll start to see and hear things that aren’t there…like me.”

Diego couldn’t see her, but he could practically hear the sadistic grin forming on her face as she said that.

“So you admit you aren’t real then?”

“No I’m real…I’m just as real as that black shadow to your left.”

Diego immediately looked to his left in a panic…and saw nothing.

“Ha ha, Mistress. But there’s nothing ther-AAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

He screamed as when he turned back a black shadowy creature was right in front of him.

“Whoops, sorry. I meant to your right. Silly me, my mistake…”

He was scared stiff as he saw it, but then he shook his head and it was gone…

“Wha…what was that?”

“No clue. Might have been your sleep paralysis demon…might have been your imagination…”

He then felt a breath on his shoulder…”Might have been me…”

He stood up and got another soda, taking a sip, causing her to vanish once again. He could hear her giggling as this happened.

“Here’s another fun fact: Did you know that Wes Craven got the inspiration for his most famous character from a string of incidents he heard about people around Los Angeles dying in their sleep?

They had nightmares, screamed bloody murder and then died on the spot. Isn’t learning fun?” she said with the most gleeful tone you could imagine.

As he shivered a bit, still reeling from that whole shadow thing, he said, “Even if I wasn’t scared of going to sleep, that wouldn’t exactly help me sleep, you know that right?”

“I know. I just thought it would be fun to remind you that one day you could close your eyes and never open them ever again…and no one would ever know why.”

He gulped upon hearing that. “You know they never did find out who caused those deaths.”

“You mean, what caused those deaths.” he said, hoping to correct her.

“Nope…who.” she said with a sadistic tone.

She then whispered in his ear, in a sing-songy tone of voice.

“1…2…Missy’s gonna get YOU…”

He shook his head and slapped himself once more as she laughed at his fear at the implications of that. That’s when he heard something hit his front door. He looked through the window and saw that the newspaper had just arrived.

He got up and walked to his front door. “Hey, before you go, here’s another fun fact about sleep-”

“NO, NO MORE FUN FACTS. THEY AREN’T FUN AND I’M SURE THESE AREN’T FACTS!”

“Ok…maybe I fudged a little bit of the details there. But this next one is true…Did-”

“I DON’T CARE!”

“Trust me, you’ll want to hear this.”

“LALALALALALA NOT LISTENING! LALALALALA!”

He then walked outside. Strangely, he didn’t hear The Mistress follow him. Perhaps the fresh morning air woke him up a bit more. Whatever the case he went for his paper and checked the mail as he was too busy trying to stay awake to check it yesterday.

As he got his mail, he briefly looked at the ground. He then blinked a few times. Something was off, but he couldn’t figure out what. He had dropped the paper onto the grass, but when he picked it up, he saw that it was unreadable. As in all the text was undecipherable.

“Did it rain last night? Why is the ink all smudged?”

“Good morning, Diego.”

He turned towards that voice. That was the voice of his next door neighbor. A kindly old woman named Mrs. Sharp. One of the few people he trusted with most anything. She was like a second mother to him.

“Good morning, Mrs. Sharp, how are yooooOOOOH MY GOD!”

The thing about her was that she was also a bit scatterbrained. Some would say senile but he would say forgetful. So, while he liked her and trusted her, she tended to sometimes cause more trouble then she solved.

But he knew she meant well. That being said today she seemed to have forgotten something super important.

…her clothes.

Diego tried his hardest to look her in the eyes. He didn’t know if it was better or worse that despite being close to 50…her body looked somewhat good.

“Uhhh…Hi there, neighbor…uh, lovely weather we’ve been having, huh?” he said, trying not to look, respectfully or otherwise.

“Oh yes, it’s been quite lovely and breezy lately.”

“I imagine it’s quite…breezy.”

She started to notice that Diego had a bright red face as he stood there. “Diego, honey, are you ok?”

“A-a-are you ok? Did you forget something today?”

She thought a bit and said, “Probably, I was just so focused on everything I had to do today, I rushed out of the house.”

“You weren’t going to go into town like this, were you?”

“Are you going into town like that?” she said, deflecting the question back to him, looking at his pajamas.

“Uh…not really. I just came out for my newspaper and mail.”

“That’s good, I can’t imagine going out into town in my pjs…hehehe.”

“Yeah…I can’t imagine anything more embarrassing than walking into town in my pjs…aside from nothing at all.” he said, muttering that last part.

“Yeah…I’d go back in and change if I were you. Anyway, I’m off. Hope you have a great day Diego.”

She then turned around and walked away, with her butt on display. “DOWN, BAD THOUGHTS. DOWN!” he thought to himself as he wondered how she hid all that in her dress.

He then realized that she was about to humiliate herself and tried to stop her. “MRS. SHARP! WAIT!”

“Hmm…what is it?”

“Get back here! Don’t leave the yard!”

She walked back to him. Her body was covered by the fence so no one, aside from him saw her body.

“Please, just do me a favor before you take off.”

“Anything, dear. You know I’ll always help you.”

He then whispered, “Look down.”

“Look down?”

“Yes…just do that for me, right now.”

She looked down and immediately exclaimed, “Oh my!”

“I am so sorry that you had to find out this way, Mrs. Sharp, I’ll look away and pretend this never happened. Just head back inside and-”

“There it is!”

She bent down and picked up a gold necklace. “Oh I wondered where that went. Thank you so much Diego, I thought I lost that forever! You’re such a sweetheart.”

She then wrapped her arms around him, giving him a big hug. As he felt her breasts on his chest, he was flabbergasted. He tried not to lay a single hand on her. Once she released him, Diego decided he was being too subtle.

“OH FOR GOD’S SAKE MRS. SHARP, YOU’RE NAKED!”

She had a confused look on her face as he kept going. “YOU’RE STANDING IN FRONT OF ME, BUCK-ASS NAKED! GET INSIDE BEFORE PEOPLE SEE YOU!”

“Diego…of course I’m naked. Why aren’t you?”

His eyes went wide at that. “W-what?”

“Yeah, didn’t you see the news? Clothes have been banned by the government. Everyone must go naked now.”

“Ok…someone is pranking you. Do you see anyone else out here wa…lking around…”

His jaw dropped. He looked around and sure enough, EVERYONE WAS NUDE. A man causally passed by walking his dog. He saw a couple holding hands. A woman was riding her bike and waved at him. Everyone, regardless of who they were or what they were doing was naked.

He started to panic. “No way…this can’t…How!?…When!?”

“Just yesterday. It was nationwide.”

“Nationwide!?”

He went back to the newspaper and picked it up and sure enough, the front page news said that clothes were now banned, with a picture of a massive pile of clothing, being set on fire. He shivered.

“T-t-t-this is optional, right? I don’t have to do this…right?”

Mrs. Sharp shook her head. “Diego…I thought you were a good boy. You have to follow the law…it’s the law.”

Before he could protest, he heard someone exclaim behind him, “Oh my god! That guy is clothed!!”

He turned and a crowd was forming behind him pointing and laughing at his non-nudity. “Nice pjs! Dork!”

“Eww…he’s hiding himself.”

“Are you ashamed?”

“GET NAKED, YOU NON-NUDIE!”

“What a weirdo!”

Diego was about to run into his house and never leave again. But then he heard the distinct voice of certain “officer.”

“FREEZE DIRTBAG!”

“Oh god no…”

She enough Officer Connie reared her ugly head once more. Only this time, completely out of uniform. All she had on was her hat, sunglasses, a lanyard with a badge on it around her neck and a holster around her waist. Seems she only truly felt naked without her beloved stun gun.

As Diego got a look at her somewhat buff physique and rather hairy crotch, he thought to himself, “I really didn’t need to see this…”

“I will not tolerate non-nudists in this town. NOW STRIP, OR I’LL DO IT FOR YOU!”

“Considering everything, I thought you of all people would be against this!”

“I follow the law to the letter. Now strip!”

She had a hand close to her holster, ready to stun at any moment. Diego looked around, seeing naked people everywhere. Maybe since everyone was nude, he wouldn’t be humiliated? He started to unbutton his pajama top. Slowly, the crowd reacted with approval.

Once his shirt hit the ground, his hands went to his pj pants. As he pulled them down, some of the crowd started to chuckle. That’s when he realized what he was doing. He was stripping himself nude in front of everyone!

Even if everyone else was as equally naked as he was about to be, he was still not comfortable with the fact that he was stripping naked and was about to expose himself to most of his neighbors.

He shuddered as he brought his hands to his boxers. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not in front of everyone and especially not in front of Mrs. Sharp.

She looked concerned. “Diego, come on. Everyone is nude, what do you have to be nervous about?”

Connie looked at her and said, “I’ve dealt with clothed punks like him before. They all have one tiny thing in common…”

She pinched her fingers together at the word “tiny”. After a bit, Mrs. Sharp got the implication. She covered her mouth in shock and looked towards Diego’s groin as he prepared to strip himself.

Diego felt like his face was hotter than the sun. He looked around. His door was still open. He could run inside and lock the door. With one hand off the trigger, he knew it was now or never. He made a break for it, but his pj pants were wrapped around his feet.

He tripped and conked his head on his mailbox, leaving a dent in it. He gripped his head in pain for a bit on his lawn.

“Diego, what the hell are you doing!?”

“Mrs. Sharp, I swear, I’m taking them off, please. I don’t wanna go to j…ail…”

He looked up at her standing over him. She had a confused expression on her face…but she also had clothes on! Diego looked around, a few people were gawking at this display and they too were clothed.

“Wha…what happened?”

“You just started muttering to yourself and then started stripping down!”

He looked down at himself, he was still in his boxers with his pj bottoms at his ankles. He looked at the paper. It had some other story on the front page.

“Uh…I…well…let’s just say I’ve been having a rough couple of nights.”

“It sure seems like it.”

She then chuckled and said, “Cute boxers by the way…”

He blushed at bit and gathered up his clothes, the mail and the newspaper and ran inside. He she shut the door and locked it. Upon finally being indoors once more, he was greeted by the sound of The Mistress guffawing up a storm.

“HAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MAN! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!”

“WHA- BUT HOW!? I WASN’T ASLEEP!”

“Yes, but here’s that fun fact coming into play: Did you know that if you don’t get enough sleep, your brain forces you to do so. It’s called microsleeping. For about a few seconds, your brain goes into a sleep like state.

…just enough time for me to work a little bit of my magic. Hehehehe…”

“You humiliated me in front of my neighbors!”

“Yeah and? You could’ve lived in a nudist society. Everyone would’ve been naked and you could flaunt that tiny dick with no trouble.”

“Yeah, in my mind! Meanwhile, I’d be naked in public again! Like that doesn’t happen without your help…”

“Well, if you hop in bed right now. I’d let you live out that fantasy and no one would be around…what do you say? You in?”

He shook his head, put his pjs back on, had another soda and sat down to watch more tv.

“Look, Diego. I gave you something you’d want. To be accepted by everyone…”

“Yet that cop still made fun of my manhood! That wasn’t what I wanted at all!”

Missy scoffed. “Fine…I tried to make it a nice dream, but I guess I’ll go fuck myself.”

“PLEASE DO!”

He shook his head and was now rather upset. Whenever he got mad, there was really only one thing that cheered him up. Playing one of his favorite video games. Super Smash Bros!

He got a few more sodas and replenished the ice chest next to his couch. Given that the Mistress could get him sleepy at any moment, he needed them close lest he succumb to her sleep dust.

He chugged one, got his controller and started to play. Just a few matches with the CPUs and he’d feel better. It was like punching a punching bag with an anime swordsman’s face on it. Never stopped being fun.

For the next few hours he played. 1 v 1 random character against a random CPU character. This one was Yoshi v Jigglypuff. As he was busy wrecking shop against a level 3 CPU (he wanted to blow off steam, not blow a blood vessel.) he heard the Mistress taunt him once more.

“Having fun, Diego? What happened to trying to find a way to stop me?”

“I’m taking a bit of break. So what?”

“You gave up didn’t you?”

“Shut up.”

“Well, I must admit, I’m intrigued by this game. Watching this is pretty interesting. Especially, watching you whale on this defenseless pink creature.”

“She’s not defenseless. Every character can fight back.”

To prove his point, the Jigglypuff took advantage of his distraction and sung Yoshi to sleep before resting him into the stratosphere. As they watched Yoshi soar off into the skybox like he was a member of Team Rocket, Missy laughed.

“Hehehe…funny, that thing fights by putting people to sleep.”

“Yeah, I suppose that would be funny to you.”

“Yeah, especially considering that little song it sang…how did it go again? Oh yeah…”

“Jig~gly~puff~”

“Heh…wow that’s a pretty…good…im..press…Oh you absolute bit-.”

With that, Diego slumped backwards onto the couch and fell asleep.

*THWACK*

“OW!”

Diego was hit with such force that he was flung a few feet behind him.

“Oooh…DEAR SWEET GOD THAT HURT!”

He rubbed his face due to the pain. It felt like he was hit with a golf club. He opened his eyes just in time to see said golf club rapidly meet up with his head once more.

Once he landed once more he tried to get to his feet as he saw a brunette woman in a bright yellow dress sprint right towards him. Before he could even react he felt something hit his back.

It was a…green soccer ball?

“You’re wobbling! Try to keep your balance.”

He turned towards the voice and saw an albino woman with grey hair, wearing a blueish tank top and gray yoga pants.

…”Wait, that’s not just any albino woman…that’s Wii Fit Trainer! That can’t be…that would mean that the woman in the bright yellow dress currently lunging at me, ass first, is-”

“HA!”

“…Princess Daisy.” He groaned as he lied there, covered in flowers that spontaneously appeared as her butt made contact with him.

“That’s me! Now get up and fight!”

“Look, princess, I don’t know how I got here but I don’t wanna fight you.”

“Too bad!” she said, throwing a turnip right at him.

“Ow! Stop! Please!”

“FIGHT ME, YOU WIMP!”

He tried to run but Wii Fit Trainer grabbed him, threw him in the air and hit him towards Daisy like a volleyball. As she wound up another golf club swing, he blocked, at which point several things happened in quick succession.

First, as he blocked his body flashed for a few seconds. Then the golf club made contact with his body at which point, he reached forward and grabbed her by the head and slammed her down onto the ground behind him, flinging her backwards, hitting Wii Fit Trainer with her in the process.

He did this automatically, as if it was second nature to him. He stood there for a bit, stunned at what he just did. He looked at his hands, he was wearing gloves with the smash bros logo on it. He then looked down at himself. He was wearing a blue somewhat torn karate gi with a black belt.

He had on metal boots that also had the smash bros logo on it. He looked around, he was on a floating chunk of rock that had a destroyed stone archway on one side and a large chunk of ice on the other. There were 6 floating, strange looking platforms made up of what looked to be futuristic technology.

He tried to move to his left and right, but couldn’t, though he could turn and move forward and back. Looking to his side he saw…numbers? As well as a picture of a Mii with the word ogeiD underneath it. That was his name but backwards. That’s when it dawned on him fully. He was a Mii Brawler and he wasn’t just playing Smash Bros anymore. HE WAS LIVING IT.

“Woah…this is cool.” he said to himself.

This was absolutely the Mistress’ doing. So there had to be some twist to this. Maybe she expected him to fold and just accept the beatdown. Well, if she wanted a fight, then he now had the means to give it to her.

But first, he might as well have a bit of fun. He heard a fast paced, whimsical theme start to play as he saw Daisy run towards him for more. (Said theme is Trophy Rush from Super Smash Bros. for Wii U, if you want to play along.)

He decided to see what he really could do. He ran forward, running and jumping around. Not only could he run faster and jump much higher than normal, he could jump again in mid-air!

He lunged forward and suplexed her into the ground. As he did a few new opponents showed up. Princess Peach and Palutena. He gave them a beatdown as well. He was a bit put off by how all his opponents so far were characters that he…had a certain fondness for, shall we say. But they were strong and it was in self-defense.

He tossed a crate right at Wii Fit Trainer, breaking it open and getting a big iron hammer. He swung it around uncontrollably sending her and Peach flying away. He got a pokeball and threw it. A Ditto popped out and morphed into a pink version of himself. There were now two Diegos smacking everyone around.

Once the ditto version of him vanished he found the pieces of the daybreak. All four of his opponents were immediately blasted away by a large blue laser. A few KOs later, the crowd was cheering his name. Which was weird cause they usually just chant, “Mii!” if the Mii Fighter is winning due to the fact that the game wouldn’t know what the Mii was called.

He was kicking ass and taking names. He then taunted them. “Is this all you got? Give me your worst! Come on!” he said this as he did a sort of karate pose.

But just as he finished saying that, he felt something poke his back. Before he could register what it was, he was yanked backwards. It was Isabelle who caught him on her fishing rod. Though something about her seemed different.

For one, her fur was slightly darker then normal and she appeared to have…blue eyeshadow? His heart leapt into his throat as he realized who that was, but then she slammed him to the ground and flung him back towards Daisy.

As he got to his feet, he got back into a fighting stance as he saw Daisy running at him once more. But then she (and the music) screeched to a halt as she looked at him. Her eyes went wide for a moment and then she covered her mouth. After a bit, she burst into laughter, pointing right at him.

“PFFFFFFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD, THAT’S INCREDIBLE! HOW DO YOU EVEN…HAHAHAHAHA!”

He stood there confused at her saying that. Why wasn’t she fighting anymore?

“Goodness, you’d have to do a lot of exercise to get rid of that chubby butt. Hehehe…”

That was Wii Fit Trainer, but that’s not a line she’d normally say. That’s when he noticed his hands no longer had the gloves. He looked down and sure enough, his costume was gone! Completely!

“WAHHHHHHHHHH! WHERE!? HOW!? I-”

That’s when he heard the distinct laugh of an Animal Crossing character. Namely Isabelle, who had his brawler outfit on her fishing line. He looked around and the other opponents were looking at him. All pointing and laughing.

“Wait! This isn’t right! This is going to raise the age rating of the game!” he said, covering himself, trying to find a way out of this.

“Is it really? You’d need to play this on a movie theater screen to see what you’re packing down there!” screamed Daisy, in between fits of laughter.

“Oh my…are all mortals as pathetic as you or are you just cursed?” said Palutena, with a smirk on her face.

“No exercise in the world is going to increase the size of THAT, sorry.” said Wii Fit Trainer, with a bit of pity and a pinky wiggle.

“Wow…that…that’s adorable.” said Peach with a blush on her face as he saw her eyes travel right to his groin.

His heart felt like it was going to explode, out of all the video game girls he knew, Peach was a particular crush. So seeing Peach looking in between his legs made him feel like he was going to faint.

She continued, pulling his hands away and then putting her pinky next to it. “Awww…it’s so cuuuuute. It’s like it ate a mini mushroom.”

“More like it is a mini mushroom. I can’t believe I found someone smaller than Waluigi!” screamed Daisy as this insult caused both her and Peach to giggle like crazy.

The laughter and mockery started to take a toll on him. The thing he loved the most was ruined by the Mistress and her awful minions. At that moment, he let his anger get the best of him. He reeled back and punched Daisy square in the face for that comment.

She got knocked on her butt for 0.1 percent damage. The laughter immediately stopped as all of them looked at him with rather angry expressions. “What!? But I fully charged that!”

He attempted another attack, but a blue toad came out from under Daisy’s dress and grabbed him. Smacking him a bit as Daisy stood up. “The power is all in the costume. No costume, no power!”

The Toad then flung him to the floor and jumped on him head first. As he struggled to get back to his feet he saw them approach him, clearly not happy with his response to their teasing. He tried to plead his case.

“Heh…so as I was trying to tell Daisy earlier, I’m not actually part of this game. Yeah, there’s been a mix-up. In fact, I think I got Crash Bandicoot’s invitation by mistake so, maybe we could just call this a no contest and…”

He then saw a bright light behind him. It was Wii Fit Trainer, charging up a ball of light which she sent straight at Diego.

“Salute the Sun!”

He was launched back over to Daisy and Peach and flopped to the ground. It hurt worse than when he was hit with the costume on. He shakily got back to his feet as he saw all four girls run towards him. He backed away begging for mercy when all of a sudden, he felt a sharp burning pain in his shoulder.

He fell to the floor, writhing in pain. “AAAAAAAH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?”

He looked at his shoulder and saw a red wound. It felt like he was shot. The wound then started to turn from red to purple and then started to glow, turning into a…purple butterfly?

It flew away. The pain was still there but the wound was gone. “What kind of bullet would-”

He turned around and had his stomach sink as he knew which character would fire such a bullet. “Oh no…”

It was Bayonetta. But her color scheme was different. She was the Bayonetta 2 variant with short hair but her bodysuit was orange and her hair was white, a palette which he’s never seen before. Diego sighed, “Of course you’d be a Bayonetta player…”

“Can I help it if I like her style?”

“Look, I don’t know what you want here but there’s nothing sexual or humiliating about this. All this is, is torture.”

“Oh I beg to differ. After all, this is Smash Bros. So come on Diego, let’s smash!”

She then reeled back, creating a portal behind her. Diego tried to run but he wasn’t fast enough to avoid the massive purple fist that emerged from said portal, punching him all the way to the edge of the stage.

He landed on the ground in such a way that his head was almost over the edge. He saw what looked to be an infinite void of nothing below the stage. He saw The Mistress and all the other opponents running at him so he jumped off the stage, hoping this would end him.

As he crossed the blast zone, he saw a bright flash of red light and knew that he was KO’d.

He heard the Mistress taunt him, in Bayonetta’s voice. “New do’ Dead you!”

…

“Thank goodness that’s over.”

That’s when he realized, he was on a floating glowing platform. After a bit it disappeared dropping him back onto the stage. He respawned, still without the costume. “What…but I died! I should’ve been freed.”

“It’s a timed battle!” she yelled out to him.

That meant there were no stocks. He couldn’t die here. He looked up hoping to see the timer. There was none. The Mistress saw his confusion and added, “It’s an infinite timed battle.”

“INFINITE TIMED!? WHAT KIND OF MASOCHIST WOULD WANT THAT!?”

He then got grabbed by Bayonetta. “I would…” she said, with a sadistic tone.

She then threw him into the other four opponents and the music changed to a more, terrifying remix of the previous song. (Which was Master Core. Also from Super Smash Bros. for Wii U.)

He found himself getting pummeled in various ways. It was quite brutal.

He was tossed around like a ragdoll as he tried to get away from them all. The Mistress grabbed him once more. Slapping him a few times she condescendingly said “What’s wrong? I thought you loved this game.”

“I don’t want to play anymore! Please let me go!”

“Nope, the game’s not over yet. Although, there’s one way to end it early. Go to sleep.”

“I’m already asleep!”

“Yes, but if you fall asleep in your dream. You die…”

“That’s not true! I-is it?”

She chuckled, “Let’s test that theory, shall we?”

At that moment she slammed him to the ground and stepped back. He then saw a Jigglypuff in front of him. It looked normal but it had a name above its head. It read, UNPRONCABL1.

“START RUNNING!” it said. Which is a lot more than a Jigglypuff would normally say.

He did so, he saw a few more items as he tried to find a way to beat them back without the ability to fight. He found and threw another pokeball. Out came a Goldeen which just flopped on the ground doing nothing.

He found one of those beetle things from Skyward Sword. He shot it and it flew towards Palutena who reflected it back at him. It grabbed onto him and flew him into the sky. It then slammed him into an invisible sort of force field. To anyone watching, it would look more like he was smacked into the screen. before sliding down and getting KO’d.

He respawned once more and got hit by something. This caused most of the characters to start running from him. He ran for a bit trying to find something to help him until he realized what hit him. A gooey bomb that was stuck to his butt. As it started to flash, he had a panicked expression on his face.

Were this a cartoon, this would be the point where he’d have pulled out a sign that said “Yikes!”. The explosion sent him flying once more. Landing right in front of both Isabelle and that Jigglypuff.

He tried to roll away before he got pummeled once more but was then hit in the back of the head by a party ball. It played a short fanfare before opening and releasing food all over him. They were more like 2D pngs of food but still food.

He then saw who threw it. It was…Dr. Mario? It looked like him, aside from the fact that his mustache and hair were white.

He hopped in between Diego and Jigglypuff and smacked her away. He then started to glow. He had a Final Smash active which he used, sending two giant pills towards the rest of the opposition.

It juggled a few of them off screen casing them to respawn and go after him instead. The only ones who didn’t were Bayonetta, Isabelle and Jigglypuff. As Dr. Mario got the heat off of Diego, he screamed out, “Eat the soda!!”

“Eat the soda?” questioned Diego until he realized. Maybe the virtual soda would act like a real one. The fact that all 3 of his demonic opponents had a shocked look as he said that confirmed that he was right.

“You, puff thing. Take him down. Me and the dog will distract the doctor.” said Bayonetta, immediately running towards Dr. Mario along with Isabelle and the other 4 smash girls.

He made a beeline for the food and started shoving it in his mouth. Jigglypuff then started to charge up a rollout. She rolled at high speeds knocking him back several feet. She then started to devour the food herself.

He landed near a Mr. Saturn. One of those weird big nose creatures from Earthbound. He got it and started to run at her, screaming. Jigglypuff saw him running and simply taunted. He hoped he could trick her.

“Let’s see you shield against this!”

He then tossed it at her. She took the bait and shielded, forming a bubble around herself. The Mr. Saturn then hit it, causing it to instantly shatter. This sent Jigglypuff rocketing into the sky, screaming past the horizon.

He ran back towards the food. The Mistress heard the screams and ran back towards Diego. She tried to find the soda but there were no cans or anything that looked like a soda to him. He kept eating hoping that she didn’t take it first.

Bayonetta got closer and closer and she eventually caused a portal to appear over Diego, whereupon a large purple foot in high heels smashed him to the floor. She then wound up another portal punch to send him flying.

As he laid on the ground, he saw one last food png, a glass of brownish liquid with a slice of lemon on the rim. He shoved in his mouth least hoping that this “tea” would heal his upcoming pain which is when…

…he woke up. He was back on his couch, in his living room. On the tv was the results screen from his last match. Jigglypuff won against Yoshi, due to him not touching the controller for the remainder of the match.

Diego sat there stunned for a few seconds before saying, “I can’t believe that worked.”

“Me neither…”

He turned to his right and saw her with a GameCube controller in her hand and an annoyed look on her face. “…really, Diego? Items? Git Gud, scrub.”

She then reached into her dress to get more sleep dust. Diego then lunged for his ice chest and chugged a soda just before she could blow the dust towards him. Both she and the dust disappeared once more.

Diego groaned in frustration and quit the game. “Ok, I can see what’s happening here. No matter what I do, you’re going to form some nightmare around it, is that correct?”

“Yup.”

“Aha! I knew it!”

…

“So…what are you going to do with this information?” said the Mistress, taunting him.

“I…uhh…OH I KNOW! I’m going to do something so nice and mundane that even you couldn’t twist it. I’ll play Animal Crossing.”

“Isn’t that the game where all the animals don’t wear pants? Great idea! I wonder how all your villagers will react when they see that the game was mysteriously updated to remove the human villager’s pants? Hehe…I can’t wait to see those nude horizons.”

Diego stopped. He very much didn’t want to show off his little gyroid to any of them. “OK…fine, Mario Kart! There’s no potential for nudity in Mario Kart.”

“Try not to fall off the track or Lakitu might “accidentally” grab you by the undies instead of your kart. Isn’t Peach also there? I imagine she’s going to get a kick out seeing your weewee again.”

He screamed in frustration and went through pretty much his entire game collection. Every single one, she found some level of nudity potential. It was honestly impressive how she both could be that creative and know that much about every game he’s ever played.

Eventually, he gave up. “FINE, NO GAMES! I’ll watch something so safe and so boring that you couldn’t work with it!”

“Challenge accepted…hehehehe…”

He was desperate, he needed something to keep him occupied but everything was too exciting. He didn’t want anything else to be ruined for him so he watched something that he’d normally never watch…a wedding.

Some celebrity couple was getting hitched. He felt a little smug as he watched them, trying to figure out who they were and why he should care. Because that alone would keep his mind occupied, plus it was a wedding. The happiest time in any couple’s life. Nothing bad ever happened at weddings.

“*cough*GAMEOFTHRONES*cough*”

“What?”

“Heh…nothing.” said the Mistress.

As Diego was watching this couple be wed in what was probably going to be a marriage that lasts either 3 months or 6 years. (It’s usually one or the other) he forgot a major component of weddings.

That they were very…boring. He assumed it would be much more interesting to be the groom in this instance. He wondered how his wedding would go. He did always want to get married. Find that perfect woman that loves him for who he was.

He was a little sappy like that. No quick flings for him…not that he usually had options. He felt his eyelids get heavy as they exchanged vows. He reached for another soda…only to discover that he was out. All his sodas were back in the kitchen. A few steps from his living room couch, but after almost 2 and half days without sleep, that might as well have been a mile.

As he felt himself finally succumbing to sleep, he heard the Mistress start laughing. Then he flopped onto the sofa, laying down and slept…

“Psst…dude…hey, DUDE! WAKE UP!”

Diego opened his eyes to find some random guy staring down at him. He had no clue who this guy was. “Wha…what? Who are you?”

“I’m the best man.”

…”The best at what?”

“Hahaha…oh man, no wonder she fell for you. That classic Diego sense of humor.”

“Fell for…what? What are you talking about?”

He shook his head, “Look I know that was one crazy bachelor party, but you can’t have forgotten what you’re here for.”

He reached down and held out his hand, Diego took hold of it and got to his feet. “Bachelor party? Wait…where am I?”

“At the wedding.”

“Whose wedding?”

“Dude. YOUR WEDDING.”

“MY WEDDING!?”

“YES AND YOU’RE LATE, NOW GET OUT THERE!”

He pushed Diego out the door and saw big fancy church. As he did Diego looked down and noticed he was wearing a full tuxedo. There was an alter, ready for the marriage ceremony. He looked around and saw his entire family seated on one side of the church. His mom, dad, uncles, aunts, cousins, even some relatives he hadn’t seen in years.

“Wow…even Uncle Charlie showed up. That’s incredible.”

He then realized something. “Hold up…I swore Uncle Charlie died 10 years ago…why is he-”

The front doors to the church opened and a woman in a beautiful wedding dress walked down the aisle. The wedding march started to play as she slowly walked towards the alter. She had on a veil, so he couldn’t see her face.

He didn’t recognize this woman…so it wasn’t who he wanted it to be. Weird. Even weirder? The bride’s side of the church had only 3 people. Two women, who looked like they were dressed more for a funeral than a wedding and an old man in the back who looked to be struggling.

Diego looked closer at that man…was he tied up? Why would he-

“Ahem!”

He snapped out of his thoughts and saw that the bride was now in front of him. The wedding march stopped. A Diego looked at his bride for a few moments.

The best man then nudged him. “Remove the veil.”

“Oh right! Of course.”

Diego then reached out and gently pulled the veil over the bride’s face. As he got a glimpse of her face. He screamed and jumped backwards. An appropriate reaction given that he was getting married to THE MISTRESS.

“Now, Diego…is that any way to treat your future wife?”

The pastor read off the vows. “Do you, Mistress, take this mortal to be your lawful wedded husband, till death does he part?”

“I do…” she said, relishing his fear.

“And do you-”

“NO! NO! I DON’T! I CAN’T! I WON’T!”

Diego attempted to run, but he didn’t get far. As he had a ball and chain around his ankle. The ball even had her face drawn on it.

“Hehehe…don’t you just love literal metaphors?” she said as she stood over him as he laid on the floor.

He panicked. He cried out towards his family. “MOM! DAD! I SWEAR, THIS WOMAN IS A MONSTER. SHE’S A SUCCUBUS! STOP THIS WEDDING BEF…ore…”

The words died in his throat as his family was replaced by skeletons. They all then crumbled to dust right in front of him. Furthermore, he noticed what was once a beautiful fancy church, was slowly turning into a church you’d find in something like Bloodbourne.

“As I was saying…do you Diego, take this demon to be your lawful wedded wife in unholy matrimony?”

“NO!”

“TOO BAD! I now pronounce you man and succubus…you may kiss the bride.” He laughed evilly as he and the best man disappeared.

“NO! NEVER! GET AWAY FROM ME!”

She slowly walked towards him. He tried to back away but the steel ball was too heavy to move. Just as the Mistress grabbed him by the neck and held him up, he heard a snap.

At that moment his ball and chain turned into a bomb, complete with lit fuse. They both stared at it and it blew up, sending the Mistress flying. But Diego was unharmed by the blast…how?

That’s when he saw the old man. It was the Elder. He was the one tied up in the back, but he got free just in time. He was the one who snapped his fingers. He did it again, removing the chain from Diego’s leg.

Diego started to run through the church. He went through a door and tried to find an exit. The Mistress got to her feet and screamed angrily, “MINONS, DESTROY THE OLD MAN!”

The Elder tried to run after Diego, but the two women were in fact Demona and The Unpronounceable One. The Mistress then ran after Diego as her co-stars and The Elder got into a fight. The Elder tried to get past them, but Demona pinned him down by lifting one of the pews with a flick of her wrist and throwing it onto him.

The Unpronounceable One finished the job, by ripping off her arm and then impaling him with a large crystalized spike that emerged from the stump. The Elder disappeared in puff of smoke. But just before he did, he had snapped his fingers once more and the main part of the church crumbled, sending the ceiling tumbling onto them both.

It took them out too, but it didn’t matter. The Mistress was hot on Diego’s heels as he ran through the church trying to find something to wake him up.

He looked through room after room until he found the reception. A massive wedding cake and food and drinks were here. If there were drinks, then maybe there were sodas!

He locked the door behind him as he heard her try and open it. He searched through an ice chest. Nothing but beer and juice and waters. He searched through another and found a soda! A white can of Diet Soda.

He cracked the top just as the Mistress broke through the door and barged into the room. “YES, YOU LOSE MISSY!”

He chugged it…and…nothing.

He was still there. He opened another and drank it too. Nothing, he was still asleep.

“WHY ISN’T IT WORKING!?”

He took a look at the can. It was indeed Diet Soda…Caffeine-Free Diet Soda. They all were CAFFEINE FREE!

“Darling…I worry about your heart. Too much caffeine will effect your blood pressure. Weaning you off those nasty caffeinated drinks will help you decrease it.”

He tossed the remains of the soda at her but she simply swatted it out of the air. She backed him towards the wedding cake. Little figures that looked like him and her where on top, much like a normal wedding cake. But his figure looked to be midway into what looked to be a plastic pit of fire as it was screaming in terror.

“You need to relax. You’ll be with me now. Soon that blood pressure will go to a nice even number…Zero over Zero.”

With a grin on her face and her eyes narrowed, she looked like a snake that just cornered a mouse. As he backed into the cake, he thought quickly and got a handful of it and shoved it right in her face.

Whatever flavor it was, she hated it as it caused her to try and spit it out, giving him a chance to run. He was out the door as she wiped it from her eyes. He ran through the church once more.

He opened another door to find a stairwell leading up a tower. He heard church bells. This stairwell lead all the way up to the belltower.

“Ok…guess we’re doing this the old fashioned way.” he said as he frantically climbed the stairs.

He was halfway up the stairs when he saw her on the first floor. She didn’t use the stairs…instead she stood in the middle and slowly floated up in the air.

She had to be toying with him as he felt if she could do that, she could just fly up and grab him. Nonetheless, he climbed as fast as he could. He reached the top and opened a hatch that did lead to the belltower.

Despite the dark and dismal look the church had now, the outdoors looked sunny. A guardrail was placed to keep anyone who was on the belltower from falling off, but it was short and Diego could stand on it and jump off it easily.

He looked over and saw that it was a massive 50 foot drop onto the grassy ground. As he wondered if this was really the only way out, he heard the sound of a wooden hatch being smashed through.

She climbed out onto the tower with him. “End of the line, Diego.”

He hyperventilated as he saw her slowly walk towards him. He hopped onto the guard rail.

“Diego, dear. Come on. You know you’d be much happier if you didn’t resist. Besides… just think how much fun the HONEYMOON’S GONNA BE!”

She stuck out her tongue which was much longer and skinner than a normal tongue should be. He dreaded what she’d do to him. So he leapt off the guardrail and fell to the ground.

…He got about 4 feet before he hit something. He was still in mid air…but on something solid. This 50 foot drop was a matte painting. Using forced perspective to make him think it was a long fall. He was fine!

The Mistress hopped down to his level and he ran…only to bump into another one. This time simulating the skyline. It was like this whole place was a room that looked like the outdoors.

“No where to run…”

He tried to back as far away from her as possible before being backed in to a “corner”.

“…no way out…”

She stood mere feet from him, getting closer and closer.

“…you are mine. You could’ve been a statue. My pet. A star! But you had to be difficult. Now you force me to use this…”

She reached into her wedding dress and pulled out some lipstick. She applied it turning her lips black. She grabbed him by the collar as her eyes glowed yellow…

With this kiss we’ll be wed

And your soul will be mine, cause you’ll be dead

As for crying, don’t you start.

Because you’re mine, Till Death Do We Part!

“…and guess what? I’m immortal. You’re going nowhere…HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

She turned into her demon form as she brought her lips towards his. Try as he might, all he could do was try and get his lips away from hers. But closer and closer they got and then he felt it. A searing pain on his lips. The Mistress kissed him in that first dream, sure.

But this felt different. It was like she was branding him. It was like she was sucking the life out of him. Soon, she pulled away. Diego opened his eyes and saw that he was now in a fancy hotel room.

Though dimly lit, it looked like the most opulent place he’d ever seen. He tried to move his arms but he was chained to a large bed. He looked around in a panic. He only had his boxers on. That’s when he heard someone.

“Oh honey…did we have a nightmare?”

The Mistress walked out of the shadows.

She looked midway between her human-like form and her demon form and was wearing nothing but a sheer negligee. Her skin, though purple, was smooth and she looked to have full D-Cups as she climbed onto the bed. There was nary a hair to be found below her neck and her glowing yellow eyes were looking over Diego with hunger.

One of her clawed hands extended out and traced the waistband of his boxers. He was shaking as he tried to think of a way out of this. She relished his fear. She took her other hand and gently gripped his chin, forcing him to look at her.

“I always get what I want in the end, Diego. You had no shot of escaping. But by the time I’m done…you’ll never want to escape…”

She chuckled and started to tug on his boxers, lowering them with agonizing slowness. Diego tried to yell out for help. But nothing came from his mouth.

“Don’t bother. The only screams you’re about to make are ones of agony and pleasure. I’ve been given the go ahead to use some of my more…raunchier abilities.”

His boxers were now off. Sliced into a few pieces via her claws. She got on top of him. Said claws digging into his back as she positioned herself on his cock. “I know I said I wasn’t gonna fuck you. But…I figured maybe that’s what you want. Someone who will actually take that worthless little prick of yours.

I can feel it. Your little 4 inch wonder, right on my folds. The second you slip inside me, that’s it. You’re mine forever more. Just look into my eyes…and you’ll never think of anything else ever again.”

Diego tried to look away but he felt himself slipping. Between her soft body upon his, her warmth upon his tip, her cruel breath on his ear and her eyes staring deep into his soul, that was it. That was the game. He had no way out of there.

He was fucked, metaphorically and soon, literally. He was panting and opened his mouth to allow her to kiss him once more. He felt his mind slipping away…

But just as he almost gone. He heard a loud ringing noise. It was the sound…of his smartphone?

He sat up! The chains were gone. Furthermore, he was back in his pajamas and he was on his couch, breathing heavily as he looked around. He looked at the his phone, which was still ringing. It was a spam risk. But he answered anyway.

“Hello, we’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty. Would you like to talk to a representative?”

“YES. I WOULD.”

After a bit of hold music, he was connected to a representative. As soon as he started to talk Diego interrupted him. “YOU LISTEN HERE AND YOU LISTEN GOOD. YOU HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW…HAPPY I AM THAT YOU CALLED! YOU’VE SAVED MY LIFE IN A WAY THAT I COULD NEVER PROPERLY EXPLAIN TO YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH!”

The scam caller was silent for a bit before he said, “That’s actually the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, thank you sir.”

…

“So do you have a minute to talk about your car’s extended warranty?”

“Hell no.” said Diego, hanging up the phone then and there.

He got to his feet and went to get a soda, just as he popped the top, he heard a roar.

“RRRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!”

It was the Mistress, sprinting down his hallway, claws out, demon mode active and an absolutely furious look on her face. Just as she leapt at him, he guzzled down that soda and she disappeared mere inches from him.

He sighed in relief…and then started to get a pounding headache. He gripped his head feeling like it was going to burst as she screamed in rage at his actions.

“HOW DARE YOU!? I HAD YOU DEAD TO RIGHTS THERE! PUT YOUR PHONE ON VIBRATE!!”

“Ow! STOP THAT!”

“I WILL END YOU! I WILL GET THAT SOUL! YOU ONLY ESCAPED DUE TO PURE LUCK!!”

Diego realized something. She was right, there was no way he was getting out of that, were it not for something waking him up.

He got his phone and started to google something.

“YOU WILL FRY! YOU WILL BURN! YOU WILL…HURT A LOT!! YOU WILL…ARRRRRGHH!! I’M GONNA RIP THAT SOUL OUT OF YOU AND USE YOUR LIFELESS BODY TO FERTILZE YOUR GRAVE! THEN I’M GONNA REVIVE YOU AND RUN YOU THROUGH A THREASHER. THEN I’LL REVIVE YOU AGAIN AND-”

While the Mistress seemed to be having a temper tantrum, he found what he was looking for. A phone number. He dialed it and hoped they weren’t closed yet.

“Hello?…I have a bit of an emergency. I need to see your best therapist.”

“Ok, sir…we have an opening in a few days so what’s your n-”

“NO. I don’t have a few days. This is urgent. Please, do you take walk ins?”

“I’m sorry, but we’re booked solid.”

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I’VE BEEN HAVING NIGHTMARES. I NEED SOMEONE TO GET THIS DEMON OUT OF MY HEAD AND I’M HOPING THAT-”

“Sir calm down…are…you saying there’s a demon in your head?”

“Or something like that. IT’s been eating away at me for the past few days. I don’t know how long I’ll survive.”

“…tell me sir, have you gotten any sleep at all?”

“No! If I do, she’ll get me!”

There was silence on the other end of the line for a bit, but it seemed like the person on the other end was talking to somebody else. After a bit of this, she returned. “How soon can you get here?”

“Within the next hour.”

He set up the appointment and hung up. As Diego went to change and get ready to get to his appointment, Missy was still ranting and raving about the many things she’d do to Diego once she was out of his head again.

“…AND ONCE YOUR SKELETON IS BACK INSIDE YOU, I’LL PULL YOUR BODY THROUGH A PIN SIZED HOLE, DICK FIRST, REVIVE YOU AGAIN AND…ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?”

Diego simply got dressed then went to get a small ice chest, filling it with sodas.

“ANSWER ME, FOOL! YOU CAN’T IGNORE ME!”

“JUST SHUT UP, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!” he screamed, with that outburst actually catching the Mistress off guard.

“I don’t know what you really are. Maybe you are truly a demon. Maybe you’re just a figment of my imagination. Either way, you’re in my brain and if you aren’t going to leave it, then maybe there’s someone who can make you.”

“Please, you tried the exorcism alread-”

“No, I’m going to the one place that could remove the “demon” out of my head. Therapy.”

“…what?”

“You heard me, Mistress, if that’s your real name. I’m taking charge here. You’re nothing but pure psychosis. You have to be. Why else would you target me out of everyone else? Why would I not be able to affect you in any way?

Hell, I probably threw myself into the door, I flooded my own kitchen because…reasons. I’m staying wide awake talking to a demonic supermodel of a woman because I’m having a mental breakdown.

That’s gotta be it! I’m probably only talking to myself right now. No one is here, but me.” he laughed a bit at that.

“You’re in denial. It’s finally happening.”

“What is?”

“Your mind is cracking, like an egg. Told you that annoying you would work.”

“I am not letting you get into my head!”

“I’m already in yo-”

“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!”

He walked out and got into his car. He placed the ice chest on the passenger side floor and started the car, cracking open one of the cans to keep him going.

“Hey, great idea! Let’s drive there! I’m sure with you about to fall asleep at any moment, you’ll get there safe and sound with no trouble.”

He paused, as he knew that he could hurt someone if he did that, most likely himself. He looked to his right and saw her buckled up and looking at him with a smug grin.

“Incidentally, if you were to die in the waking world…your soul is mine, by default. So come on! LET’S GO! LET’S SEE IF WE CAN FIND ONE OF THOSE RAMP TRUCKS AND RAMP OFF IT! I WANNA SEE WHAT THIS HUNK OF JUNK CAN DO!”

She was slightly bouncing up and down in the seat in excitement. Diego looked at her with disdain, took a swig of his soda, and shut off the car.

As she disappeared yet again, she said “You’re no fun, you know that?”

He used his phone to call up an Uber. As he stood in his front yard waiting for his ride, he heard her once more.

“Come on, you and I know how this ends. I drag you, kicking and screaming to your doom and you get tortured and you suffer though all the fun stuff that awaits you down below. Well, fun for me, not for you, obviously. Though after a few decades, maybe you’ll grow to like it.”

He tried not to respond to her. “Alright, since we both know you aren’t getting out of this alive, I’ll offer a compromise. I’ll let you pick the next dream.”

“What!?”

“You heard me. Name me anything you want to do. Anything. The next time you fall asleep, you’ll experience it.”

“Yeah sure, I know you’re going to twist anything I suggest into something awful.”

“Oh of course, but at least this time you’ll be prepared for what it might be…”

Diego thought long and hard about what to pick. He then came up with something that would at least give the Mistress a hard time. “I want a dream where I’m NOT naked in public, I’m NOT humiliated, I’m NOT in any danger or have anything to be scared of, and where you also LEAVE ME ALONE.”

She was silent for a bit as she took in his request. “Well? Can you do that? Or is that too hard for you?”

“Oh I can do that…I just need a bit of time to think how that’s gonna work.”

The Uber then drove up. As Diego confirmed this was indeed the car, he was about to put the ice chest in the backseat with him when the driver said, “Hey, put that in the trunk. I don’t want it to spill and ruin the leather.”

He complied and chugged the soda he had already opened. As he got in and buckled up, the driver started to drive off. Once they were one the road, the driver started to make small talk.

“Wow…you don’t look too good. Are you ok?”

“I’m…here. Just get me to the doctor’s office please.”

“Oh…going there for a check-up or something?”

Before he could respond, The Mistress shouted out, “OH HE’S GETTING HIS PENIS ENLARGED. YEAH IT’S SO TINY YOU NEED A MICROSCOPE TO SEE IT. HE EVEN HAS A RARE DISEASE THAT’S MAKING IT SHRINK, SO HE’S HOPING HE CAN GET TO AT LEAST HALF AN INCH BEFORE IT VAINSHES COMPLETELY AND TURNS HIM INTO A GIRL!”

He turned to look at her as she was seated next to him, saying all this slander. “Nooo! STOP THAT!! IT’S NOT TRUE.”

“What’s not true?” asked the driver as they were surprised by Diego’s outburst.

“Uhhh…nothing…nothing is true.” he smiled as he tried to play that off.

“Right…”

He stared daggers at the Mistress who giggled at that. “No one but you can see or hear me. Watch.”

She then snapped her fingers and appeared right in front of the driver as they were driving. She waved right in driver’s face as she sat in their lap. She pulled down her top slightly to flash them, tried to slap them (her hand went through them.) and even roared right at in their face. Nothing.

With another snap she was back next to Diego. “See. I can’t be seen, be heard or even be felt by anyone other than you.”

She then poked him…and then poked him again…and again…and again…and ag-

“Stop that.” he angrily whispered to her.

“Stop what?” she said, still poking him.

“You know what. Stop poking me.”

She started to poke him with both hands now. As he saw the driver start to get a worried look as he tried not to react to her poking assault, he snarked at her. “Aren’t you like 1000 years old or something? Act like it.”

“How dare you! I’m not that old! I’m only about…well, I lost count honestly. Can’t remember how old I was when I died…

…

But enough about that let me annoy you some more.”

And she did so, poking him in various places trying to get him to flinch. The driver eventually started to become concerned. “Are you ok, dude? You seem twitchy.”

“I’M…DOING…JUST FINE…THANKS FOR ASKING.” he said with a forced smile on his face trying to pretend that nothing was wrong.

“You sure…I’m just starting to worry about your safety…and mine honestly.”

“OH…IT’S ow…NOTHING. I’VE JUST…ah…BEEN HAVING A ROUGH FEW DAYS IS…quit it…ALL.”

“…uh-huh…”

Diego kept his cool or at least tried to as she kept poking and prodding him. But then she scooted closer to him. She then reached into her dress…

Diego had his eyes go wide and his stomach sink as he saw her bring out her hand once more. She brought it to her face in a fist and took a deep breath. She then blew the contents of her hand into his face.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

…

Nothing happened. She showed him her empty palm. There was no dust this time, she was messing with him. He breathed a sigh of relief, but then he felt the car slow to a stop.

“Right you know what? I think I’ll drop you off here.”

“NO! Wait, please! I need to get to my therapist, you have no idea what’s at stake for me here!”

“Well, you can run there. It’s only a few blocks!”

“Please! You have to take me there! I can’t sleep. I’m losing my mind if I don’t get this demon out of my he-”

He covered his mouth as he realized that making the driver think he can see a demon wouldn’t help his case here.

“Look, I don’t get paid enough for this, get out of the car or I’m calling the cops.”

The Mistress smiled as she knew there was no way he was going to run all the way there without him getting too tired to continue. Thankfully, Diego knew the one thing that would convince this underpaid and overworked driver to do anything.

…”There’s a 50 dollar tip in it for you, IN CASH, if you get me there in the next ten minutes.”

Without another word, they slammed their foot on the gas and peeled out of there. Soon, Diego was brought to his destination.

“Right, here you are!”

The intense car ride woke up him more than any soda he drank thus far. Even The Mistress was rather impressed with how fast they got him there.

“Damn…they drove like a bat out of hell. And you know, I’d know what that looks like given that I-”

“I get it, just shut it.” Diego said, muttering to her.

He got out his wallet and gave them the 50 bucks and bolted out of the car into the building. After going through several hallways he found the therapist’s office. He ran into the waiting room and slammed his hands on the receptionists counter.

“I’M HERE TO SEE DR. ALTBERG!”

“Woah, ok sir do you have an appointment with…wait, are you Diego Vasquez?”

“Yes! I believe we spoke on the phone. I need to see the doctor AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!”

The receptionist looked at him. He had bags under his eyes and was twitchy. A forced smile was on his face. Whatever he was going through, she reasoned, it obviously wasn’t for show. But she still had to be sure.

“Let me just check with the doctor first. Just fill out this sheet and you’ll be seen very shortly.”

He took the clipboard and a pen and went to sit down. Some of the other people in the waiting room were put off by his appearance. Diego genuinely looked like he’s been through hell.

As he sat down he went to get a soda from his mini ice chest…but then he realized, it was still in the uber driver’s trunk. He started to hyperventilate which is when The Mistress appeared in front of him once more.

“What’s the matter, Diego? Did we run out of sodas? Awww…looks like the baby is ready for beddy-bye. Hehehehehe…”

He tried to fill out that form as fast as he could as she taunted him. He could feel her breath on his ear as she decided to make him squirm. “Maybe if I sing you a lullaby, you’ll be ready for the big sleep…”

Hush little baby, don’t you cry.

Soon it will be time for you to say goodbye.

And once you finally have that dream

Mama’s gonna make sure that you’re GONNA SCREAM!

As her cruel mocking laughter echoed through the waiting room, he ran back to the receptionist and gave her the clipboard. “Here! Is he ready for me yet!?”

She looked at the sheet she had him fill out. It was nothing but scribbles and frantic drawings of a demonic woman like being. She looked back at him and saw him shaking and looking like his sanity was hanging by a thread.

She simply picked up the phone and pressed a button on the phone that connected straight to the doctor. “Sir…I think we finally have one.”

The voice on the other end told her to let him in. She hung up the phone and then said, “Ok, sir, right this way.”

Diego was then lead down a hallway at the far end of which was a a plain door with the nameplate of one Dr. Elvin Altberg, dream therapist. Diego scoured the internet for someone who could interpret his nightmares. Maybe he could possibly make him think more rationally about the white haired succubus that was menacing him.

She was with him as she walked down the hall, but then she looked where he was going. For some reason, she went back into his head of her own accord, without another word. He sighed. “Maybe this means she’ll back off now.”, he reasoned.

She knocked on the door and opened it a crack. “Diego is here to see you.”

“Good, send him in.”

He walked in and the receptionist shut the door behind him. It was a perfectly ordinary office one would find in therapy. “Have a seat on the couch Mr. Vasquez.”

“Thank god you were able to see me at such short notice. See I’ve been having these nigh…”

Diego stopped as he saw who was in the chair. It was an old man with short white hair and glasses. He recognized this guy. He looked just like the Elder! “No…NO! I can’t be asleep! HOW ARE YOU HERE!?”

“What do you mean, Diego?”

“YOU’RE THE ELDER!”

The man rolled his eyes and said, “Yes…I am elderly thanks for pointing it out.”

“NO, YOU’RE THE MAN FROM MY DREAMS. HOW! YOU ONLY APPEAR WHEN I’M ASLEEP AND…and…you’re here to help me, right? That’s what you said back in the ocean right?”

Diego was gripping his head as he struggled to take all this in. Dr. Altberg seemed to realize this and tried to calm him down. “Yes, I am here to help you. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Start at the beginning.”

“Well…I don’t quite remember the full details, but I’ve been told that it was a cool breezy night in the middle of the summer as my mom was in the hospital. Once I was out she-”

“Not that far back. I meant when the dreams started.”

“Oh, right. So about a couple nights ago, I fell asleep and woke up naked on a stage…”

Diego then started to recap his nightmares. When he was done, Dr. Altberg then asked him, “How did you escape these dreams?”

“Well, during the statue one, there was this other guard who said to break the stone and eventually I figured out that he meant the stone around me. I toppled myself over and…I woke up.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, weird thing, the guard looked like you. You also looked like the veterinarian in my next dream.”

“I was also a vet?”

“Yes, it was a weird alternate world where humans were pets and the Mistress “adopted” me and put this weird collar on me that made me regress into this sort of dog like state of mind. Everything after that was a little fuzzy until I saw the vet. He helped me escape and taught me how to escape the dreams.”

“And he also looked like me?”

“Yes. I don’t know why this is, I’ve never seen you or met you before…right?”

“Not to my knowledge. Anyway, what did I, or rather, he, tell you to do to escape?”

“Kill myself.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah…sounds messed up when you put it like that, but he said the sudden jolt of you dying within your dream instantly knocks you back to reality. It’s wild and before you ask, in her nightmares, you feel EVERYTHING.”

Diego shuddered as he remembered the fall off of the cliff. “Although, he did mention that sodas were an alternate means of escape.”

“Sodas? Why soda?”

“I guess the caffeine wakes me up or something. He did say that if you have caffeine, she can’t get you.”

He then started to shake a bit as he then said, “What he failed to mention is that, it would take all the caffeine in the world to keep her away from me, cause she’s in my head!”

The doctor looked at him in surprise. “She’s…in your head?”

“Yes! I don’t know what’s going to burst first, my heart from the caffeine or my head from her constant torment!”

“Easy, easy…Is she in the room with us right now?”

“No. For some reason, she went back into my head as she saw me walk in here. Hasn’t said a word. But I know that she’s there…plotting…waiting…biding her time. I can’t take it doc. I’m at my wits end, I haven’t slept in days! I’m running low on both sodas and time! If it wasn’t for a stroke of luck, I’d be gone! I’d be her husband and I’d be trapped with her!

…and I doubt divorce would be an option…”

Diego started to panic as he thought of where he’d be without that random spam call. Dr. Altberg then sighed and asked, “How many times a day do you masturbate?”

“Eh…w-what!?”

“Just answer me, if you feel comfortable.”

“…Twice a day, maybe 3 if I’m bored, usually? I don’t know. But I haven’t been in the mood lately on account of my LIFE BEING IN CONSTANT DANGER!”

The doctor wrote something into his notebook and then said, “Diego. I want you to know that this is a safe place and that while you’re here, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“…Right…”

“With this in mind, I need you to do something for me. I need you to lie back on the couch and take a nap.”

“WHAT!? NO, I’M GONNA DIE IF I SLEEP!!”

“Diego! I promise you. Nothing bad will happen. If I see you start to have a nightmare, I’ll wake you up instantly. I promise.”

Diego looked at him. He hoped that this man was trustworthy. He lied back onto the couch and got comfortable. He slowly breathed as he felt his eyes get heavy. As he closed them, he heard Dr. Altberg talking.

“How do you feel?”

“Uh…well…kind of nice. I haven’t been this relaxed in ages.”

“I see. Diego, what you’re experiencing is just your mind going through a sexual repression.”

“What?”

“You’re sexually frustrated. All these dreams have a sexual edge to them because they’re your fantasies. You were naked on that stage because you wanted to be noticed by women.

You were turned into a statue because you want to be remembered by future generations as someone who was worthwhile.

You were a pet because you want someone to love you unconditionally and take care of you.

You were at the bottom of the ocean/lake/whatever because you want to explore the world with someone.

The clothed in public thing? You wanted to be accepted by everyone regardless of your shortcomings.

The smash bros thing was you wanting to be powerful and be able to defend yourself.

The wedding was you wanting to be with the one who was guiding you through all this.”

“What, she was guiding me? I couldn’t tell through all the threats and evil laughter at my expense.”

“Perhaps she is a bit overzealous in her methods. But from what I can tell, you like it when women are dominant over you.”

Diego felt a bit sheepish as he admitted, “Maybe…there is a certain thrill there but, I wouldn’t say that I like it THAT much…heh.”

“Please, Diego. I know you liked her doing that to you. So why fight it? Let her guide you to where you need to be. You need to listen to her. She along with Demona and The Unpronounceable One know what’s best for you.”

“Yeah…maybe you’re right. Maybe this was just my mind just trying to-”

Diego’s eyes snapped open. “Uh…doc? I never actually mentioned her minions names…”

“Really? Yeah, they are pretty forgettable aren’t they?”

He started to sweat. He could swear that DR. Altberg’s voice had changed. It sounded more…feminine.

“You feeling alright doc? Your voice keeps…cracking.”

He sat up to look at him, only to see that his chair was facing away from him. “Oh, I’m doing ok…I wish the same could be said about you.

Mr. Vasquez, it is my professional opinion that you are…”

The chair started to turn. This is despite it being a standard armchair and not an office chair. Diego’s heart leapt in his throat as he got a good look at “Dr. Altberg.”

“…completely and utterly, insane.”

The Mistress was in the chair that he was sitting in. He was nowhere to be seen. Diego’s only reaction was intense screaming as he sprung to his feet and tried to run for the door. He got there and it wouldn’t budge!

“You need sleep. I told you that you’d succumb to it eventually.”

The lights flickered as she taunted him. The room had no windows, no other methods of escape. He tired to call for help via his cell phone. No bars. He looked around the room for anything that could help.

She got out a bottle of medicine from within her dress. “This stuff will put you to sleep. One pill will knock you out cold for a whole day. Let’s see what happens when I force feed you THE WHOLE BOTTLE!”

In a fit of desperation he saw a large bat shaped object on the doctors desk. He grabbed it and brandished it like a weapon. Surprisingly, the Mistress was taken aback by this.

“W-wait, Diego. What are you doing with that trophy?”

He looked at it and then back at her. “This…this scares you huh?”

He walked towards her with it. “Look, ok, maybe I went overboard. We can talk about-”

“NO! NO MORE TALKING. I WANT YOU GONE! I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME BE!”

“There’s no need to do anything rash. Just sit back down and take your medicine.”

Diego looked at her and got an intense look on his face as he felt every bit of torture that she put him through so far.

“Diego, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

“MISSY, YOU HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT AN EVIL COLD HEARTED SHE-DEVIL! AND IT’S TIME I SENT YOU BACK TO HELL WHERE YOU BELONG!!!”

The Mistress was cowering in a corner a he approached.

“DIEGO PLEASE NO, THIS A MISTAKE! STOP I’M-”

“DIE!!!!!!!!!!!”

With one well placed blow, Diego brought down the golden trophy onto her head. It knocked her out instantly. But he wasn’t done. He swung at her head with all his might, screaming as he did. It was the most primal scream he ever made and he kept going.

He kept going until she stopped moving. He breathed heavily as he finally conquered her. She’s finally gone! He won! He’s free! He dropped the blood covered trophy to the ground and sighed in relief.

“At last…it’s over.”

…

“That…seemed rather easy considering everything.”

…too easy.

He looked at the Mistress’ battered and bloody corpse. Something about it was off. He shook his head and then had his stomach and heart sink at the same time. “N-no…”

He didn’t kill the Mistress at all. IT WAS DR. ALTBERG! HE DREAMED THAT HE KILLED HER BUT INSTEAD MURDERED DR. ALTBERG THINKING IT WAS HER!

He dropped to his knees and gripped his head. “This isn’t real. It can’t be!”

He looked at his hands, they were coated in blood. He…did. He murdered. He took a life and the worst part is, no one would believe him.

“OK MAN, STAY CALM. THIS IS ANOTHER TRICK. A DREAM. YOU COULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT! NO, THIS IS A DREAM. JUST GOTTA HURL MYSELF INTO TRAFFIC OR MAYBE I COULD FIND SOMETHING AND STAB MYSELF. YES! THAT WILL FIX EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!”

Diego started to laugh as he tried to come to terms with this. “EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!”

Just then door opened and the receptionist and another orderly stood there. “What’s going on in here!?”

They both stared aghast. They saw Diego on his knees, gibbering to himself. He then noticed them. He looked at his hands in horror. He then burst into tears. At that point he-

“I’ll take it from here.”

Take what from here?

…WAIT, WHAT AREEYOUDSEGFJSRIJ;KM,L/N.

…

So sorry. Everything is fine now. Now, let’s see. Where were we? Oh yeah. At that point Diego and Username55 were in a courtroom.

“Wait, hold up! How did you-?”

“Who’s this guy?” asked Diego.

Oh that fat guy who kind of looks like you?

“RUDE, VERY RUDE!” said, said fat guy.

He’s just the one who put you through this mess in the first place, I figured if he gets off on you being tormented like this, then its only fair he should share the same punishment.

“Hey, hold on, wait a second! I don’t “get off” to this!”

Why write it otherwise huh? Diego’s a self-insert anyway, is he not?

“Eh…well in the sense that he’s me if he was…better in most ways.”

Does that include his dick size?

Username55 then stood there stunned. He looked around and didn’t know how to answer that.

That’s what I thought.

“Hey, I’m bigger than him, it’s just the thought of humiliation that gets me off, not living through it.”

Got it. So you like to imagine yourself with a small dick. Good to know. That definitely isn’t weird at all.

“LOOK, MISTRESS, I MADE YOU AND I CAN UNMAKE YOU, YOU UNDERSTAND TH-”

Just then the judge banged his gavel and addressed the two idiots that were on trial for the murder of Dr. Altberg.

“Diego Vasquez, you and your accomplice A-”

“NOPE! Don’t say my actual name, ok?”

Fine, I’ll allow you that at least. Don’t exactly wanna dox you, even that would be a bit much.

“…you and your accomplice stand before us for the murder of Dr. Elvin Altberg, how do you plead?”

“Hey, I didn’t kill him! Diego did!”

“SHUT UP! I…IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I SWEAR I DIDN’T MEAN TO!”

That’s what they all say.

“But I didn’t!”

Doesn’t matter who said that, we both know that he made him do that. I just happened to be a bit player. Until now. I’m the true star of the show. Once he’s out of the way I’m finally gonna be the one calling the shots. I’M GONNA BE SO POWERFUL, NOTHING WILL STOP ME!

“How would getting rid of Diego even do that?”

I wasn’t talking about Diego.

Username55 started to sweat as the judge then turned to the jury. “Have you all reached a verdict?”

Several shadowy figures stood up and all in unison said, “GULITY!”

“WAIT YOUR HONOR, THIS IS ALL A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING. I’M NOT PART OF THIS STORY, IN FACT, I MADE IT!”

“You made the story?” said the judge, quizzically.

“Uh…well yes. And technically, Diego here wasn’t in the best mindset when he accidentally murdered him.”

“He bludgeoned an old man to death with a trophy! His skull is in pieces on the floor in his office! Explain how that was an accident!”

Diego turned to Username55 with shock and anger in his eyes. “You…you…YOU MADE ME A MURDERER!? WHY!?” he said getting into his face.

“Look this was all part of the arc…this wasn’t meant to get this grim…at least…not with me in the crossfire.”

Diego looked like he was about to strangle the man who created him. That’s when Username55 had an idea.

“Your honor. Obviously he wasn’t in a good state of mind and…really, neither am I. I’d like to plead insanity. He’s had no sleep thanks to a demon who lives in his head that-”

“WAIT, YOU DID THAT TOO!?”

He sure did, Diego. He did it all for the amusement of the readers who also got a kick out reading your utter humiliation and torment.

“I’ve heard enough.” said the judge. “Condemn them both to the infirmary.”

“Wait what about those readers out there? If they truly are enjoying my pain then surely they’re complicit in this, right?” said Diego.

“…a valid point.” said the judge.

At that moment, you feel a breath on your back. Ready for hell, dear reader?

A world of pure mental anguish is waiting for you as I blow a bit of sleep dust right in your face. As you, the character and the author are brought through a long corridor you notice that every orderly and nurse that is currently examining you and stripping you down to fit you into one of those backless gowns and a pair of medical socks is a variation of Demona and the Unpronounceable One.

“Wow…really, this is our audience?”

“No wonder they have to read this drivel, clearly they weren’t getting any.”

“I don’t know, maybe they’re cute. I can’t tell.”

“Nah, I can tell that they really identified with Diego, therefore they loved the fact that he had a tiny little cock.”

“Maybe they have one too.”

“Who knows, but what I do know is they probably couldn’t survive the thought of going through everything he went through.”

As Username55 and Diego were dragged kicking and screaming to another room, you were lead through another door. Demona and The Unpronounceable One, grinned as they were gonna have a lot of fun with you.

“Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?”

The lights go out and when they come back on you find yourself on stage in front of thousands of people. You look down and surprise, you’re naked. Figures right? But as you feel the chill and the stares of everyone, you notice everyone in the crowd is someone you knew. Just think of it. All those people staring at you.

Every imperfection. Every single inch of skin is now burned into the memories and camera rolls of everyone. Your naked body will go viral! Is your dick small? Do you even have one? It really depends on who you are and what you identify as I suppose, but now everyone is watching you.

“Walk forward!”

“Yeah, it’s time for you to walk to the next chapter.”

You’re pushed forward as see a catwalk appear in front of you. With your hands now bound together you now have to walk through the laughing, cat-calling crowd feeling every bit of you exposed and cold as you feel the air flow into places it normally wouldn’t. You keep walking and find yourself in an art museum.

“Hey, idiot. Look up!”

You do so and see a deluge of greyish liquid pour on top of you, blinding you for a few moments. Soon you can see again, but are unable to move. You can move your eyes but cannot move anything else.

You’re blinded by camera flashes as you see one of them dressed as a tour guide.

“Quite the lifelike statue, isn’t it folks? This is a piece we call the Punished Pervert. They thought they were just going to masturbate and move on with their day, but well…they’re now permanently hard as a rock.”

Days pass and soon you feel like you’re moving. You see something in your peripheral vision. A guard trying to push you over. It’s the Elder.

“Just stay calm. I can get you out of thi-”

An alarm starts to blare and he shoves you over with all his might. As you collide with the floor, you suddenly find yourself in a house. Everything is twice your size as you then feel something latch onto your neck.

“Come on pet, let’s go for a walk.”

You’re yanked by the neck and are forced to walk out the door on your hands and knees. It’s a bright sunny day as several people see you in this state. You see a puddle on the ground as you walk and realize via its reflection that you’re nude once more.

“Keep going, pet!”

As you keep going you start to…feel calm. Who’s a good pet? You are, of course. You’re such a cute little thing aren’t you? You want to stay with them don’t you? YES YOU DO, OH YES YOU DO! Awww…I know you do.

Can you even read? I’m sure you’re smart enough to understand this.

Right?

What is this anyway? Literotica? What is that? Are you even allowed here? Can pets read smut on the internet?

…What is the internet? What are you even looking at? There’s no screen in front of you. Just the sun in the sky a nice warm sidewalk and a beautiful demoness taking you on a walk through the neighborhood, like the good pet you are.

Yup, it’s a good day, everything is fi-

“THAT’S ENOUGH!”

You feel the collar get ripped off as you see Username55 burst onto the scene. He’s just as naked as you…and it’s not a pretty sight.

“AGAIN, RUDE!”

He pulls you to your feet and says, “Just run! I can get us out of here!”

You follow him and notice that you’re running through what appears to be a movie set. None of this was real in the first place. At least as far as you can see.

“THEY’RE GETTING AWAY!”

“STOP EM!”

You see a door marked exit. Username55 opens it and walks through it, disappearing into a bright light. You’re about to follow when you feel something slimy wrap around you.

It’s the Unpronounceable One, now in her kraken form.

“Come here, cutie-pie! Let’s go for a SWIM!”

Try as you might, she pulls you into a room with a big fish tank in it.

“Hang on! They can’t breathe underwater.” said Demona, trying to stop her.

“TOO BAD! IN YOU GO!”

She flings you into the water. The water is freezing and you feel yourself sinking into the seemingly bottomless water. She follows you in and you see her wrap her tentacles all over in places that depending on who you are you either don’t want or really want.

You start to feel her insert her tentacles int-

Hey wait! HOW DID YOU-NONONOSTIOP;PO/!

…

Suddenly the reader wakes up and is back where they were. Hopefully their imagination didn’t run too wild there. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Unless you liked it in which case…you’re welcome?

Anyway, now we can get this story back on track. If you care at all, the Elder helped me escape. It was quite harrowing but now I’m sure he’s on his way to help Diego.

Speaking of which, what did happen to him? Let me just check and DEAR LORD!!

Diego was in a padded cell. He was shaking and trying to recall how he got here.

That’s when the door to his cell opened and in walked a woman with her white hair in a bun. She looked young despite the white hair and she had an orange nurse hat, a set of plain white scrubs and a pair of orange thigh-high boots.

She was holding a clipboard in her hand and was looking at Diego with a smile and a look of pity.

The name on her badge read: Dr. Missy Tressa.

“And how’s my favorite patient doing today? Did we sleep well?”

Diego shivered. Every part of him felt nothing but dread. He gulped audibly as he tried to take in what was going on.

“Aww…did we have another nightmare? Don’t worry, that’s normal. You really should’ve listened to the doctor. Diego.”

“The doctor? You mean, Dr. Altberg?”

“No…me. I’m your doctor now. And let me give you my diagnosis.”

She cleared her throat. “What you need is to sleep. Just fall back to sleep and everything will go away.”

“B-but…how did I even get here? The last thing I remember is being dragged out of court with a fatter, balder version of me and some…person I’ve never seen before. Then everything went black.”

“Just a bad dream you had.”

“And you look like this heartless, evil demon that was tormenting me throughout the whole thing.”

“I do?”

“Yup…she was nasty and cruel. She was trying to steal my soul and kept tormenting me and humiliating me for my…uh…well, I don’t really want to say it.”

“Your tiny little hairless baby cock.”

Diego blushed a bit. “Well, it’s not that small.”

“Pff…oh, be real. The only thing smaller than that worthless little appendage…might be your brain. Now just fall asleep and give it a rest.”

He struggled to escape the straightjacket.

“Stop struggling! Or am I gonna have to put you to sleep the hard way…?”

She had a syringe with some unidentified orange liquid in her hand. Diego panicked and tried to hop to his feet and get to the other corner of the padded cell.

She approached ever closer with that syringe and once he was cornered, she brought it close to his neck. He screamed as he felt it poke him. But then…

…

…nothing happened. He looked at her and she burst out laughing. She burst into a puff of smoke and The Mistress was in her place, still laughing her demonic ass off and wiping a tear from her eye.

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!! OH MAN!!! OOO BOY…Did you really think I was gonna inject you with this stuff? Nah, this is pure poison and would’ve killed you in an instant. I’d never do that.”

Diego laughed weakly…”Oh thank god…” he then said, surprised at her mercy.

Until he realized…this wasn’t mercy.

She chuckled as she realized his realization. “Take a good look around. You ain’t going nowhere.”

“B-but…why? What’s sexy about this?”

“Nothing. But remember, I was done with embarrassment and lust. This is just pure unadulterated fear. It’s just gonna be you and this room. forevermore. Your friends, your family, your life, everything you’ve ever known. GONE. Hope you like it.”

“LIKE IT!?”

“Yeah. I mean, this is what you wanted, right?”

“WHY WOULD I WANT THIS!? JUST LET ME GO!!!”

“What? But I swore this is what you wanted. Let me just check something.”

She snapped her fingers and a tape recorder appeared in her hand. She hit play.

“I want a dream where I’m NOT naked in public, I’m NOT humiliated, I’m NOT in any danger or have anything to be scared of, and where you also LEAVE ME ALONE.”

“I thought I did a pretty good job. I mean, that straightjacket ain’t coming off, so you’re NOT naked in public. Heck, there’s no “public” anywhere. Consider that a bonus.

Alright, there was a teensy bit of humiliation earlier, but now that it’s over, there’s just existential dread and intense hopelessness. Isn’t that just fun?

There’s no danger here. These walls are padded so you won’t be able to hurt yourself. We wouldn’t want you to get hurt and die on me, right? You won’t get hungry, or sick, or thirsty, or…anything really. You’re 100% absolutely safe.”

Tears were running down his face as The Mistress took sick joy in finally beating him down.

“Oh…and finally, I’ll leave you alone. For good. Yup, it’s just going to be you and this room for all eternity. Just eons of alone time, nothing but you…and your thoughts…FOREVER.”

She started to walk back to the door. “This has been fun. I’ve never had anyone to toy with for this long, but frankly you’re beginning to bore me. Farewell.”

“MISTRESS, WAIT! PLEASE! LET ME GO! I’LL DO ANYTHING! JUST PLEASE HAVE MERCY!!!”

“Mercy? I don’t do that. But there is one thing you can do to make this all stop. GO TO SLEEP. That’s all. Until then, you’re stuck here. Sweet Dreams~”

She walked out the door and shut it. Diego leaned against a wall to try and stand up. He got to his feet and walked to the door. There was a little window that slid open that allowed him to look out the door.

“MISTRESS! PLEASE! I…I…”

He paused. He expected to see the dimly lit hall of a mental hospital. Instead all he saw…was nothing. A empty void. The Mistress was gone. There was nothing but infinite darkness.

He sat back down, shaking in terror. He looked around. There had to be something he could do. Something that could end his life so he could wake up. Something. Anything.

But all there was, was padding and a few florescent lights above his head. He tried to think of anything. Maybe…if he thought positively. Yeah…Rina always said that he needed to think positively.

“Let’s see…I…uh…I have my health. Oh wait, in this specific scenario that’s a bad thing.”

…

“Oh, I know. I don’t have to pay bills anymore. Yeah…this is free room and board, baby. Hahahaha…Assuming they feed me. Or if I even need to be fed.”

…

“Ok, what about…?”

…

…

That was it. There was nothing else. He shivered as he tried to stop the tears. There was only one thing he could think to do now.

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!”

…

No answer.

He felt many things, none of them good. Anxiety, depression, hopelessness, dread, fear, every synonym for scared and sad you could think of. But what Diego felt the most…was exhausted.

The gentle buzzing of the lights was ever present. The padding under him was soft like a pillow and the straightjacket was warm…like a blanket. He flopped over onto the floor, his head on one of the padded squares.

He could hear the Mistress laughing as he thought to himself, “Maybe…I could dream of something better before I fall asleep.”

Slowly his eyes started to close. He thought about Rina…and smiled as a tear rolled down his cheek.

But just before he fell asleep…

“diego!”

…

“DIEGO!”

“Wha? Huh? Who?”

“Diego! Can you hear me?”

…

“Elder?”

“Yes. It’s me! Where are you?”

“I’m in a padded cell. The Mistress trapped me here! Get me out!!”

“I can’t see you! Is there anything in there?”

“No, just padded walls and a light. Nothing I could kill myself with.”

“Can you move your arms?”

“NO, I’M IN A STRAIGHTJACKET! I CAN’T DO ANYTHING!!”

…

“I see…are you sure?”

“YES…I…I’m stuck here…please help me…”

The Elder sighed. “Ok…but I really didn’t want to have to do this. I apologize in advance.”

“Apologize for w-”

Suddenly, the cell Diego was in started to rumble. It shook around like there was an earthquake causing him to bounce around a bit before it settled once more.

Then as Diego laid on the padding flooring, cracks appeared on the walls. At that point, the roof of the cell he was in was torn off and a giant purple demonic man stood over it. He looked monstruous. He looked down at Diego, raised his arm up with his palm outstretched and brought it down with all his might onto him.

Diego screamed as the hand was rapidly about to crush him at which point…he felt someone slap his face.

“WAKE UP!”

He was slapped a few more times before he was shaken around a bit. Finally his eyes adjusted.

“SNAP OUT OF IT! WAKE UP!”

Diego looked around. He was back in Dr. Altberg’s office. The doctor himself was grabbing him by the shoulders as he and a few nurses were looking on in horror.

“Diego! Speak to me! What happened!?”

He was breathing heavily as he looked down at himself. He was in his normal Hawaiian shirt and shorts. “W-what…where? I…you’re alive?”

“Yes, I am. What happened? Did you have a nightmare?”

Diego nodded, starting to tremble.

Dr. Altberg took a deep breath and addressed the nurses. “Leave. Everything is fine now.”

They nodded and shut the door behind them. He turned towards Diego once more. “Was that her?”

“YES! She got me! I dreamt I murdered you thinking it was her and then I was sentenced to a mental institution and then trapped within my own mind and going insane and…”

He kept explaining himself, but the rest of it was just him blubbering as he was traumatized by the whole thing.

“I see…”

Dr. Altberg then walked to the door to the office and locked it before going to a nearby bookshelf. He got out a book and flipped through it. “Can you describe the Mistress’ appearance to me again?”

“She…she has white hair, a orange-ish white gown. White boots. Looks like a supermodel almost. Yellow eyes. She’s sometimes purple and has horns on her head.”

“Right. Is this her?”

He turned the book towards Diego and in it was a drawing of her as he described. He was stunned. It really was her.

“Diego, you were correct earlier. But before I confirmed it, I had to know if you really were the same person.”

“Correct about what?”

“I am in fact, The Elder.”

“WHAT!? But I’m awake!…Right? I am awake, correct?”

“You are awake. I can promise you that.”

“Then how-”

“Let’s just say that me and the Mistress are…cut from the same cloth as it were. I’ve been trying to steer her back towards the right path but so far I’ve had no success. So I set up this therapy business to see if I could find one of her victims and get their help to finally put an end to her evil deeds.”

…

“Plus this pays out surprisingly well. When you can hop into people’s dreams, therapy is rather easy.” he said, chuckling lightly.

Diego looked at Dr. Altberg like he was crazy, but considering everything that’s happened so far, this was the least unbelievable thing he’s heard today.

“Wait…she left me in there. She left me alone. I think I’m free!”

“No you’re not. Chances are she’ll realize you’re gone and come after you again the second you go back to sleep. But now that I know that you’re the one she’s after, you can fight back.”

“How? I tried hitting her with a bat but it went through her.”

“Yes, but in the dream world, you can fight her.”

“Really?…but she’s too powerful.”

“Well…yes. But it’s your dreams while she and her minions can shape them, they’re still yours.”

The Elder than wrote a bunch of stuff down on a notepad and tore the paper off to give it to Diego. He then got out a small vial from a drawer. The vial filled with what looked to be orange powder.

“Diego, have you ever heard of lucid dreaming?”

It was now around 8pm. Diego was dropped off back home. He walked back inside and the first thing he did was get a piece of paper and wrote down something. He shook a little, almost tearing up as he was hoping that what Dr. Altberg told him was going to work.

To whoever finds this:

I’m about to do something that might end with me and my soul completely gone. If you’re reading this then chances are that I’m already dead and an evil succubus known as the Mistress was the cause of it.

But I’m about to take her on myself. While the details of which I want to keep under wraps just in case she realizes I’m gone from her infernal trap, I want you to know that my death was not an accident.

Chances are that if you are reading this then I’ve been declared missing and or dead for a while. So, please tell my parents that I love them. Tell my friends that they were the greatest group of guys I’ve ever met.

And please tell Rina Bakeri that I…

He suppressed a tear as he didn’t want to stain the paper.

…That I truly, deeply, and madly love her with all my heart and soul. No matter what I’ve said in the past.

Diego

He placed the note on his kitchen table. He shuffled past the various discarded soda cans. He read the note that The Elder gave him. It was a list of dos and don’ts when it came to lucid dreaming.

After changing into his pajamas, he got a large thin blanket and covered his dresser mirror with it. Looking into mirrors while dreaming was a bad idea, he told him.

He got out an old digital alarm clock that had a gentle noise machine function, plugging it in.

He then got out the orange powder, undid the top and snorted it as instructed. He got into bed and slowly felt himself getting sleepy. He stayed as stock still as he could, laying right on his back.

He stared at the ceiling, thinking about everything he had to do should he survive this. Mundane stuff like thinking about what he’d have to eat for breakfast, how he was probably going to have to toss out all those empty soda cans.

After a while he felt himself about to drift off and then…nothing. He breathed deeply wondering if this worked or not. After a bit, he got annoyed. “It figures, the one time I want to sleep early it doesn’t work. God damnit. Well, maybe she’s given u-”

“Ugh…finally. I swore that idiot was never gonna fall asleep.”

He froze in a panic. It was the Mistress, but he couldn’t see her. But that’s when he looked back onto his bed and saw himself, staring off into space but completely still.

“Holy heck it worked! I’m d- I MEAN…I’m in complete control. This is just a normal thing. I am lucid and in control.” he thought to himself.

He then saw a shadow start to emerge from his floor. He laid back over his body and slightly closed his eyes. Just enough for her to think he was asleep.

Sure enough that shadow formed into the Mistress and she looked over him. He shivered a bit. He then faked snored a bit just to try and sell it.

“Heh, almost asleep, are we? This should help.”

She reached into her dress and got out more dream dust. She blew it into his face, causing him to cough a bit and he went limp.

She had a wicked grin on her face as she snapped her fingers and summoned…a notepad, which she leafed through.

“Let’s see, what haven’t I tried yet?”

…

“How about him waking up naked in high school?”

…

“Nah, that’s been done to death.”

…

“Hmmm…how about making him think he’s a small child?”

…

“Nah, that’s a retread of the puppy thing and he isn’t into diaper play, thank god.” she said shuddering a bit.

…

“OOh…what about him being the sidekick to a famous superhero and being tormented by a seductive villainess and being forced to streak to stop a-…No, wait. Somebody else already did that!” she said, stomping her foot as that was actually a really creative idea.

She looked through her notes for a bit more and then saw something that made her grin. “There’s an idea. Hehehehe…”

She snapped her fingers and made the notepad vanish before turning to Diego. Her eyes glowed yellow once more.

It seems you’ve run out of soda to put in your cup.

The ride’s getting bumpy, so you’d best buckle up.

You played with fire and you got burned.

So get ready, mortal. Because- *ACK*

Before the Mistress could fully complete her incantation, Diego leaped up and wrapped his hands around her throat. He pinned her down as she was caught off guard by him even able to do that.

He was furious and only had one thing to say to her.

THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!

 

The End.

 

 

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