Finding Love in a Hopeless Place (Gay SPE)
Being a doctor was already hard enough with the extensive training and life-consuming expectations. The most unfortunate aspect of my job is informing patients’ families that their loved ones didn’t make it. I had a horrible time at first because how can anyone stomach doing that. I grew numb to it, but it was still painful. My now ex-wife had the burden of comforting and consoling me through everything. I wear my heart on my sleeve and usually carry that baggage home.
Now, I understand this was wrong on my part. The pandemic is where everything escalated and spiraled into a hellscape. I was constantly surrounded by death all the time. I became very depressed and didn’t know what to do. I brought my trauma home, and it worsened my relationship. It became a standard routine for us to assign blame and hurt each other. We ended up getting a divorce because it became too much for her. I also learned she cheated on me. It was a horrible and emotional time for me. Everything fell apart.
I am currently in therapy to work on how I can address the trauma I accumulated as a medical doctor. It has been a beneficial and life-changing experience. It was very hard at first and required me lengthy miles of dedication. I’ve learned to appreciate my life and quit burdening the people around me with my personal baggage. My wife and I have been divorced for two years. Since things are getting better and COVID-19 isn’t as dire as before, my job is less stressful and traumatic. I am feeling a lot better.
I grew up in Tennessee in this tiny town with 2,000 people. Since I was a teenager, I was always bi-curious, but the idea of exploring men frightened me. I was always concerned about someone finding out. Even as an adult, those fears manifested and took control of my heart and its desires. I chose to be with women because I was pressured to. I didn’t have a choice.
This doesn’t mean I did not love my wife because I still do and always will. I’ll never forgive myself for ruining it. My therapist told me we both harmed each other, but it wasn’t entirely my fault. She cheated on me and made that choice. I still struggle not to blame myself for everything.
My therapist and I have been discussing these sexual fears. He suggested I go to a gay bar to see what it’s like. After thinking hard about this, I decided to go to a local gay bar. It wasn’t anything special, but it was nearby. I didn’t want to drive far. I entered the bar squinting my eyes at the bright neon lights.
I found a table in the corner and ordered a drink. Several guys were dancing shirtless the night away. Immediately, I was pretty overwhelmed because I’ve never been a fan of partying. I’d prefer to have an intellectual conversation with someone in the quiet.
After watching everything by myself, I noticed someone in the opposite corner. We looked at each other at the same time, and right away, I was captivated by this mysterious gentleman. He was a white, chubby, older man with ruffled silver hair. He wore a nice gray shirt and a dark purple blazer with black roses.
I couldn’t make out the details of his face because he was far away. He looked uncomfortable with everything as well. For like another ten minutes, we would awkwardly glance at each other. I decided to muscle up the courage and approach this silver daddy.
As I walked toward him, my heart was beating so fast that a doctor would be concerned. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I didn’t even know him. Why was I so nervous? I finally reached him after running through the warzone of emotions. Time had paused. I asked him if I could sit with him. He said I may with his sexy voice. It sounded deep but also a little high-pitched. He was a chub but had some muscle. I sat at his table and talked to him. He had an adorable beard with bright crystal-like blue eyes. I was so intimidated by this man’s beauty.
I was so awkward. I told this guy I knew him from somewhere. He asked me where, and I said on the number one spot for the sexiest man in the world. I heard a quiet snicker from him. I blushed because that was cringy. I am surprised he didn’t run off into the shadows after that disastrous pickup line. I apologized for objectifying him with my humor. He thanked me for the compliment. We chatted for a bit about being uncomfortable with the party scene.
His name was Will Peterson, and he was 47 years old. He didn’t regularly attend this bar but wanted to put himself out there because he was tired of being alone. I felt such a strong presence being around him. I wanted to learn more. Who was he? What was his past? I mentioned how I wasn’t vibing with the bar and wanted to go somewhere more private. I suggested we head back to my place. I told him there was no pressure to do anything since we had just met. He excitedly accepted my invitation. He got up. He was way taller than me. I was speechless.
Stumbling on my words, I gave him my address and rushed home. I had a big house with a beach view right in my backyard. He knocked on the door, and I nervously opened it with an awkward smile. I gave him a short hug and took him on an exclusive tour of my mansion. He was impressed with everything. I told him I was a medical doctor. He was a nurse at the Ivinson Memorial Hospital, where I worked.
We connected with our occupations. I was sensitive but asked him how the pandemic changed his outlook on medicine. He told me it was challenging to be around death all the time. We continued to have a deep conversation about that. I shared how my job was the main reason my previous wife demanded a divorce. I didn’t know how to express my emotions to her.
He was apologetic and asked me how I was doing. Oh my goodness, he was adorable. He was like a giant plushie. I told him my life changed entirely due to counseling and learning about this new side of myself. I thought I was bisexual. I told him I was bi-curious. He’s identified as gay for years, so maybe, he would be able to support me. It would be a slow process for me, but he seemed open to exploring my sexual identity. He said he lost someone close to him to COVID-19. I felt so sorry for him. We talked through his grief. I shared with him my past experiences with grief.
We continued a wonderful conversation about everything from similar backgrounds to where we think the government hid extraterrestrials. I couldn’t believe we had so much in common. How was it we connected seamlessly, and he lived so close to me? I offered him my most expensive bottle of white wine.
We drank the night away, telling stories about our lives. What a storyteller he was. His words were tender and eloquent. He lived a life I could never have imagined. He traveled worldwide, exploring places like Machu Picchu and the Maldives.
He joked with me and said I should take him to Ireland. I jumped up and said I’ve always wanted to visit Dublin. It looks like fate, he told me with a smile. I laughed and said I would if things worked out. That is your reason to stay! He said he would hold me to that. I teased him and asked if he only liked me because of the money. He said it wasn’t the main reason, but it was one of them. We both laughed.
I looked out at the beach. I walked him to the balcony. Something in me sparked. I had an idea. I asked him if he wanted to have some fun. He was cautious but agreed. I told him it would be fun to skinny dip on the backyard beach. He didn’t seem interested. I said it would be okay because it was very dark at night. I smirked as I said no one would be able to make out our private parts. He sighed and agreed. I grabbed his hand and escorted him to the backyard.
It was incredibly dark so I couldn’t see him that well. He was adorable with his beautiful clothes. I couldn’t even imagine him without clothes. I wanted his big, hairy body in my bedroom. I made sure not to get ahead of myself because it was something I tended to do. We stripped and ran to the black beach. The sound of the water made me feel tranquil. We were in an oasis.
It was super cold, but it was fun to splash around and let loose. After a strong wind hit us, we decided to go back inside. It became too cold. We dried off and put our clothes back on. He was oddly swift to put his clothes back on. I wondered why. He was even in my house before me. I came back in. I joked with him about how quick he was to put his clothes on. He said the adrenaline was exhilarating. I agreed.
I wanted to talk more with him and get to know him more intimately. I told him we should lay down in my bed. We went upstairs. I dimmed the lights and played relaxing soundscapes. There was a fountain in my room, so we heard the sounds of dripping water. I slowly took off my shirt and pants and entered under the covers.
He looked reluctant but joined me. He didn’t take anything off. I told him it would be okay for him to take some of his clothes off. I didn’t want to pressure him. He said he was okay. We engaged in fun pillow talk for hours. Everything felt still when I was with him. It felt like the universe stopped for us. We transcended time and space.
I saw he became more comfortable with me as the night darkened. I scooched closer to him and cuddled on his bear-like chest. We looked out the window, taking in the starry night with the bright moon. We stared into each other’s eyes, where I felt lost in them, like a shiny pool of wonder. I asked him if I could kiss him. He said I could. I slowly touched his face and gave him a quick kiss on his warm lips. It was weird and scary to kiss my first man.
I was so embarrassed because I released a giggle-like squeal out of nervousness after kissing him. He laughed and commented on how cute I was. He shook my hair after he said that. He tickled my nose and kissed me back. I started to take off his clothes. I thought he would protest, but he let me. I took off his shirt and pants. I didn’t see much going on in his little tighty-whities. His chonies were beyond adorable.
We continued to embrace each other in our arms lovingly. I pulled down my underwear. He was shocked to see I was hung. I’ve never been seen naked by any man. I covered myself with the covers. I felt incredibly comfortable but was nervous about being so intimate with a man. We kept touching and kissing. He told me he usually didn’t get this intimate with anyone. I asked him why. He said he was very insecure with his body.
He didn’t want to be rejected, so he never let it go that far. He never felt as relaxed as he did with me. I made sure to let him know I was incredibly nervous as well. I told him he had a fantastic body. I was turned on by everything about him. I don’t think he believed me.
I told him in the past. I experienced body issues too. My wife helped me appreciate myself more. We had a long conversation about body image, and I shared my ongoing insecurities. Sharing my journey helped him open up since most men aren’t open about their body issues.
I had a feeling he wanted to be naked with me. I begged him to join me. I reassured him it was a safe place where I wouldn’t judge him. He finally agreed and slid down his underwear. I was excited to see him in the nude. I was surprised and delighted when he was packing an incredibly tiny penis. The little guy was also circumcised.
There he was, completely nude from head to toe with his little incher exposed so close to my face. It was a little chapstick tube. Aww, his underdeveloped boy-like parts were beautiful. It was smaller than the tip of my pinky. Secretly, I had a desire for men with small penises. Something I am guilty of is being turned on by some of my patients. I have many male patients who come in with tiny weenies.
It was clear they were embarrassed by their little conditions. They became even more embarrassed after I invited female nurses to assist me. In my head, I loved seeing their little nubs bounce in my view. It’s one thing for your little penis to be exposed to a man, but a woman is a whole different story if you are a straight dude.
For the most part, I didn’t even need assistance from a nurse; I just wanted to see my patients endure humiliation as their little boy cocks were on display for a nurse that would probably never sleep with them. Unfortunately, I never felt confident in finding my own man. That might change because of Will’s micro ding-a-ling dangling between his legs. It was evil, I understand, but these little guys so turn me on.
Sometimes, I have to touch their teeny weenies to examine what the problem might be. It was cute to see how their little pee-pees bounced around. I loved fondling them. I soaked up every detail of their lovely bodies. Something about a fully grown adult man with a baby-sized dinkle turns me into a drooling doofus. I don’t know what it is. I feel like a melting icicle when I see one. Coupled with their embarrassment further drove my irrational lust.
I think I am attracted to vulnerability and exposure. In a world where we believe bigger to be better, men are pressured to showboat their masculinity. I empathize with men who choose to do that because they can’t be themselves. I am not here for that. I want the person I am with to shed their clothes and the oppressive societal standards. I want them to be their most honest self with me. I want them to be unbothered by having a penis tinier than a little baby boy. With me, their baby pinky would be taken care of all the time.
After he took his underwear off, he covered his little privates. I gave him a suggestive smile. I slowly kissed his big, furry tummy. He wasn’t too hairy. He rubbed my smooth back. I felt him all around. I admired his thick legs. He had gorgeous-looking legs. I went on an adventure kissing them. I came to his middle section.
I kissed his hands. I carefully pulled his hands to his sides. I took a long moment just appreciating that this sexy man had a little baby dick. Poor guy, now I understood where his body issues stemmed from. He looked so embarrassed. He gave me a playful push and covered himself up again with the covers now.
I asked him why he was on an international mission to keep his beautiful dick covered from me. I asked him if I needed to hire a secret agent to uncover his secrets. He chuckled but said with a serious demeanor he was ashamed his sausage was so tiny.
He encountered neglectful men who would just laugh at his little blueberry and either leave or expect him to pleasure them without anything in return. He shared he’s been assaulted before. This man has been through so much. I told him that was awful and I would never do anything like that. He was getting teary-eyed. I saw he was upset, so I opened my arms to give him a tight, warm hug. This beautiful hunk needed something good in his life. I had hoped I could be the man he deserves.
He came close to me, and I wrapped him around me. I could feel his little dicklette tickle my leg. God, it was embarrassingly tiny. I felt sad for him because having to go through life with such a small penis must be humiliating. I wanted him to feel better. I know it isn’t easy to overcome body issues, especially if the person is conditioned to them early on. I know this is something he was not used to.
I kissed him on the cheek. I wanted to stare at the little guy between his big legs all day. I told him I admired grown men with small penises. He questioned me on why I was attracted to tiny penises. I told him I was drawn to vulnerability. I told him it was something I began to fantasize about. He looked me in the eyes and could sense my genuine nature. I said if a man can share their vulnerabilities with me, I am attracted to them and their story. I also mentioned how little pinkies are just so cute. He blushed sheepishly. I rubbed my hands through his hair.
I am so turned on by how embarrassed men are over their little play things. He started sniffling and claimed he had never met anyone like that before. I told him plenty of people appreciate the person over the body. He said it was his fault because ever since he came across “size queens,” he built a wall between himself and the world. With me, he didn’t need to do that.
I encouraged him to let me in and see it. He uncovered his little one-inch tee-tee; his balls were petite, like two peanuts. I took his stub of a boyish penis in my fingers. I caressed his little guy, rubbed the tiny head, and massaged the itty bitty shaft. This delicate little mushroom is the smallest penis I have ever seen in my entire life. And I have seen many videos and images online.
I told him I loved the unique and sweet beauty hiding between his legs. It would sometimes hide like a little turtle in his pubic hair. It would be an innie. I giggled in my head when that happened. He witnessed it in its inverted state and was so humiliated. He would pull it out. It was just so cute. He was such a gorgeous and shy cutie pie.
A few years ago, I couldn’t fathom being with a man. Now, I was naked with another man in my huge bed. I marveled at his extraordinarily minuscule micropenis. He is such a daddy bear. I feel like a little boy around him, well, except for his third nipple. That is a little boy’s penis. He was blushing so hard, so I began to tickle his little pickle with my finger.
Playing with his little guy, my finger was thicker than this teeny weeny. He was so precious, innocent, and playful, like a child. As we became more intimate, I stroked his little guy with two fingers. It was too small to use my entire hand. Seeing how it hopped around when I flicked it was so fun. I told him I loved looking at his little micropenis. I could stare at his tiny spectacle all day. I kept telling him how cute his little winkle was.
I think my teasing turned him on because his little joystick stretched in my fingers. His baby boner was probably under two inches. I saw his nanoscopic stiffy produce some pre-cum and was transfixed by this marvelous sight. I gently touched it with my finger and tasted it.
His baby juice tasted so good. I gave him an evil-looking smile and positioned myself close to his entire fun-sized ding-a-ling. I’d never sucked a man’s cock before, so I didn’t know what to expect. I was sweaty and nervous. What if I can’t please him? What if I am lousy at this?
He caught my worried face and held my hand. His touch comforted my fears. I put the whole dicklette in my mouth with ease. It barely reached my tongue, which pleased me. My dick was throbbing. I’ve never felt more in control, dominant, and turned on. I just wanted to please this angel of a man. It felt like I had a baby carrot in my mouth. I kept pulling out to make erotic comments about his shaftless piggy in a blanket.
I never thought I would suck a three-year-old’s little binky. He was incredibly embarrassed but didn’t tell me to stop. He secretly loved his little nub being teased by a masculine, hung guy. I asked him how I was doing. He said I was a natural cock-sucker.
I told him I had experience sucking pussy, so how different could it be from sucking this gorgeous clit. He looked mortified but was exhaling sounds of extreme pleasure. This poor man probably hasn’t had his baby dick sucked in forever. I rolled his little cock in my mouth and felt the mesmerizing urethra drip loads of pre-cum.
I began to suck him harder aggressively. The taste of this daddy’s plaything was beyond desirable. After a quick time, he reached a climax and started screaming. I felt his steamy, hot cum release into my mouth. I couldn’t believe a little, tiny penis could produce so much cum.
He was gasping for breath. He looked at me and told me I didn’t need to swallow it. I decided to anyway because I wanted to enjoy him as much as possible. I continued to suck him and felt his little boner shrivel up in my mouth to a mini half-inch nublette. It felt like I had a little grape or a raisin in my mouth.
He must have been so humiliated to explode in my mouth and see his erect wee-wee scale down to a little dinky winky. I giggled at it and flicked it side to side. I was satisfied with his tiny penis. In a wave of joy, I told him I loved seeing how little it was. He asked me if I liked it. I looked up at his beautiful face and said his small penis was the pure reason for my sexual arousal at that moment.
He was so considerate. He asked me how it felt to suck a man’s penis. He said he continuously watched me see if I was okay. He was such a cuddly, kind spirit. I said I loved it. I don’t think he feels appreciated and loved because he repetitively asked me if I liked his body. I wanted him to feel valued around me.
He was a king, and it was about time he started feeling like one. I gave him another tight squeeze. I wanted to worship his little man. He said he never knew he would find the day when a man would compliment and appreciate his toddler-sized pee-pee. I told him it was a fantastic experience.
I told him it was a shame I didn’t get to see his little acorn bouncing around as we ran to the beach. He let out a short giggle. He said the next time he visits. We can skinny dip when it isn’t as dark. He said no one would probably see his little nub anyways. His words enthralled me. He wanted to keep seeing me! I was super excited because it was written all over my face. I began to sob silently. I never thought I would ever deserve love after what happened with my ex-wife. I was grateful.
He hugged me, and I felt his little guy press against me. It was a little cutie pee-pee. I tapped his little penis and pushed it in. I saw the sparkle in his eyes. At that moment, I knew this man was my soulmate because we connected on every level so fast. It didn’t feel real. It felt like a fairy tale. He said he needed to leave but couldn’t wait to see me soon. He got out of bed. I saw his little penis wiggle around as he got up.
I couldn’t resist this irresistible man. I crawled to the edge of the bed and grabbed him. I threw him on his backside, so his bare butt faced me. The most fabulous butt greeted me I had ever seen. I apologized for being so rough, but the image of his big, fat bubble butt transformed me into a horny gorilla like a full moon does to a werewolf. I kissed him all around his massive butt. I spanked it a few times and was aroused by seeing his pale, white butt jiggle as I slapped it. I asked him if he wanted to go across my knee.
He practically leaped like a frog over my lap. Wow. His smooth, large butt held unbelievable beauty. I rubbed it with my hands and felt his little dick touch me. I gave it a couple of kisses before spanking him. He let out screeches of pain. He screamed to punish him for having such a small cherry and ballsack. I told him he was a naughty boy and spanked him hard. Eventually, we were both tired. He thanked me for putting him in his place.
I know he needed to leave but didn’t want him to. I begged him to stay. He told me he could stay a bit longer. We spooned together and just loved each other’s bodies. Unexpectedly, he threw me on my back and went over my body. He was kissing me all over. He reached for my large boner and admired it, saying it was a mouth-watering cock. He began to touch it.
After he played with it, he began sucking me. I was in heaven. This god knew how to pleasure a man. I just kept thinking about his little boy penis as he sucked the life out of my dick. I came all over the place. Like an obedient cutie, he immediately swallowed it.
He hugged me warmly because he knew this was all new to me. I lost my same-sex virginity. Afterward, we continued to cuddle and accidentally drifted to a peaceful slumber. I was depressed and groggy because I thought I had dreamed Will up. I turned around, and he was sleeping right next to me. He was utterly silent, like a baby sleeping.
The dorkiest smile was summoned on my face. I didn’t dream of him! I quietly got out of bed and tiptoed to his side of the bed. I lifted the covers and saw his cute, little button penis. I let out a soft giggle and covered my mouth with my hand. What a beautiful sight. I gave his pinky-sized dingy a little kiss. I compared it to my pinky finger. I also flicked it a little. Nothing more attractive than flicking a man’s baby dong. I covered his wittle wee-wee with the covers.
The orange sun was rising. It would be a cool and overcast day. Even if it were hot, it would be nothing like how hot it was in the bedroom last night. I couldn’t believe we spent the night together. I opened the window to hear the soothing sounds of a morning ocean. We were pleasantly graced with the chilly breeze.
I climbed back into bed. I gently tousled his soft, fluffy hair and kissed his forehead. From this, he gracefully opened his eyes. He looked startled, realized where he was, and smiled sincerely into my brown eyes. His bright blue eyes were pools of heaven. I wished him a happy good morning and called him my daddy bear.
He chuckled and called me his beautiful boy. He held my cheek with his comforting, meaty hand. I closed my eyes from his touch. I can’t even describe how the connection felt. I told him I felt safe with him like he was my guardian. He said he felt the same with me. He looked down at the giant dick between my legs. He pouted and said he was the one who was a little boy where it mattered.
He then looked under the covers at his baby twinkle. He was red in the face after seeing how baby-like it was. I smirked at him. I yanked his blankets off. I admired the baby dinkle nestled between his big legs. It looked so delicate and fragile.
I told him that he and his little penis were the cutest things ever. I surprised him by slurping up his infant-sized cocklette in my mouth. He let out a gasp of pleasure. I didn’t finish him because my luscious mouth was his incentive. If he wanted his wittle gherkin sucked, he needed to come to see me again.
He said he didn’t need that; just me alone was enough. I blushed at his sweet compliment. I suggested we take a shower together. He agreed, and I walked to the shower and turned it on. I watched him get out of bed as his baby cock bounced around. I was so hungry for that prepubescent tinkle. We felt each other up in the steamy, hot shower.
We kissed each other all around. I sucked his little innie for a bit. I shampooed and soaped him up. We danced to the soundscapes that were playing. It was so romantic. Two guys completely naked, sharing a meaningful moment in our most vulnerable states.
Once we finished, we put our clothes on, and I walked him to the front door. I touched his chest and kissed him. I helped him put on his blazer. I asked him if he would tutor me in fashion studies because I lacked a sense of fashion.
He said he would and needed to get used to my puns and dad jokes. I was also guilty of bad humor, but he loved it. I walked him to his car. He said he had a fabulous time. I revealed to him that I felt a special connection with him even though we had just met. It was cosmic, and he said he felt the same. We stood there just looking at one another.
My heart was beating incredibly fast, like I was going to have a heart attack. It was very similar to how I felt when I first approached him the night before. I clenched his hand and rubbed it with my thumb. I thought about my therapist because something we talked about earlier was how I would easily jump ahead of myself. But this felt different. It felt raw and authentic.
There was a sensation between us that I just couldn’t ignore. I looked down and told him I loved him. He gave me a surprised smile and said he loved me too. We hugged and fell into a deep kiss. We exchanged numbers and promised to see each other soon. He entered his car and drove off. I waved to him, and he waved back.
I was just looking for someone to talk to. I needed a friend who could help me figure out who I was. I never thought I would find love in a hopeless place. I believe Will and I were destined to meet. With his body insecurity and trauma, my inexperience in embracing my new identity, and our shared backgrounds, I think we will support each other on this new journey. Our energies aligned.
I can’t wait to keep seeing him. I don’t think he would be ready for the naughty things I will do for him and his little, tiny penis. His nub will be so exhausted with my passion that he probably won’t even have one after everything I plan to do to his little pee-pee.
I am looking forward to the future with Will Peterson.
*This story has been edited to fix spelling, punctuation, & basic grammar, but the narrative and plot have remained the same. Remember, even with limited editing. It doesn’t mean any possible major flaws in this story were fixed. The opinions/views expressed in this story (and in any comments) are those of the author and do not represent this site. We support freedom of speech.