This reader discovers that teenagers are assholes…

This is a recent experience I had and is a true story that happened to me a couple of years ago. Now that I have gotten into SPH, it has become one of the hottest experiences I’ve ever had, and I jerk off to it all the time. At that time, I was a substitute teacher for a pretty big high school. I had just graduated from college, so while I figured out what I was going to do with my life, it was something that paid the bills. Most of the time, it consisted of passing out worksheets, playing a video, or going over review questions, standard sub teacher work. If a class got out of control, I would simply write their name down, let them know, and usually, that was that. This was a private high school, so your worst issues are smartass teenagers, nothing that bad. That being said, every now and then, I got a tough class, and with it came your typical ‘, hey, let’s fuck with the sub‘ type shit.

The day this happened, I had to sub for a health class, which basically consisted of dumbass seniors who took it as an elective to fuck around and get an easy A. These kinds of classes were the worst. The students were usually assholes. The usual teacher never left any kind of instruction, and the kids tended to get rowdy. The fact that their regular teacher was a football coach didn’t help either, and I’m sure they typically never did anything in that class.

This health class was also in the drama room for some reason, so instead of having a desk, I had a TV cart for my stuff. I was already a little irritated. Fortunately, the first couple of classes weren’t too bad, and the teacher left some packets for them to complete and turn in at the end of class. They talked, and some of them didn’t do it, but they were relatively quiet and behaved, so I didn’t care. I had my laptop on the top of the TV cart, and I just read and screwed around online. It was actually kind of nice. Then I had a long break, which was the one perk of subbing for these types of classes. They only teach half the day, so I only have a couple of classes, and beyond that, I can just chill and hang out while still getting paid for a full day.

The last class I had at the end of the day, however, is where things took a turn. Usually, the last period with a sub is pretty bad already, especially in a bullshit class like this, so I expected it, but this class was in a freaking league of their own. They came in pushing, being obnoxious and yelling. I remembered mumbling to myself, this is gonna be a long 50 minutes. I told them to find a seat, it’s like a small student theater, so there aren’t desks, just like theater seating with a little table attached to each seat. As soon as they noticed that there was a sub, they immediately started fucking around. Throwing shit, pushing each other, making stupid noises to irritate me, walking around and grabbing theatre equipment and props the drama class was using, I assume, you would think I was dealing with middle schoolers and not high school seniors about to go to fucking college, it was ridiculous. I warned them several times that I would write down their names, but again these were seniors about to graduate. They know an empty threat when they hear one.

After a few minutes, they thankfully calm down, sat down, and took out their phones while just talking. Nobody was working on the assignment, but I was just happy they had shut the hell up. They were still loud and annoying, but at least they were under control somewhat. Then a girl came in late, threw the door open because she probably likes attention, was loudly laughing and trying to get somebody’s attention, all the while disrupting the relative calm, and on top of it didn’t even acknowledge me when she walked in, which kind of pissed me off.

I know I’m a substitute, but you can at least pretend to be respectful. The fact that the class had already annoyed me so much probably didn’t help things as far as how I reacted. I yelled loudly if she had a pass, which kind of startled her. I guess she assumed I wouldn’t give a shit, which in her defense, I usually didn’t. Her excuse, which it appeared she was making up on the spot, was that she was taking photos for the yearbook or something. She did have a camera around her neck. Normally, I would just let it slide, but I guess they had already set me off enough that, for whatever reason, I picked this battle to fight. I sternly told her she needed to go and get a pass, or I would write her up.

She started to get kind of upset and snapped back that the teacher in charge of the yearbook had a class at that time, so she couldn’t and that it wasn’t that big of a deal. I knew she was making shit up and just skipping class, but again for whatever reason, I decided to make an example out of her, and so I had to follow through with it. I told her I was writing her up and she could take it up with Coach Anderson, her normal teacher. A write-up is basically a demerit, not a big deal. If you get three, you get a detention, nine a suspension, etc. This girl did not view it that way, she looked livid, she stared me down the whole time I filled it out, and when I gave it to her, she said something sarcastic under her breath like ‘can sub’s even give write ups‘ or something along those lines. The good thing is that the class finally shut the hell up, and some of them even started working on their assignment. Sometimes you just gotta go after one student, make an example out of them, and the rest will fall in line. That’s one thing I learned in my brief career of subbing. So I went back to the TV stand and started reading the news on my laptop.

About 15 minutes later, I could see the same girl taking a picture of me with the camera she had, and giggling, I just rolled my eyes, told her to put the camera away, and thought to myself 20 minutes left, just get through this. Eventually, I noticed that several of the girls and a couple of the guys were all kind of snickering and periodically pointing and looking at me. I finally asked, “Okay, what’s going on guys, what’s so funny?”

One of the girls said, “Trust me, you don’t wanna know.”

To which the girl I wrote up burst out laughing. At this point, I just decided not to play their stupid games and ignored them. A couple of minutes later, with the giggling still going on, the office dismissed a student over the intercom for a doctor’s appointment. I happened to watch her walk as she walked out and saw her give the small penis sign with her hands while mouthing, “So fucking small.”

I thought it was weird but figured it was some inside joke or some nonsense. Stupid immature Shit like this is why I wonder how anybody could be a teacher. After what seemed like an eternity, the bell finally rang, and they got up and left just as obnoxiously and loudly as they came. As they barreled through the door the girl, I wrote up looked over at me and said, later, little guy. At the time, I thought she was referring to my height. I am a modest 5’6” around high school students. You’ll get stupid comments from time to time, but my day was over, and I was about to pick up a paycheck, so I said fuck it.

It wasn’t until I got home and happened to glance at myself in the mirror before I went to the bathroom that I noticed something really embarrassing about how my outfit looked. I should preface this next part with the fact that at the time, I had just bought a bunch of new clothes since I had been subbing more frequently, and there was a dress code for teachers, basically dress pants or khakis a dress shirt, and a tie. Before I started subbing, I only had like four dress shirts and a couple of pairs of dress pants, so my rotation was getting a little repetitive. So Macy’s had a sale, I had a gift card, and I went to get some new pants. I found this one pair that was nice looking and comfortable. The material almost felt soft like pajama pants or something, but they looked nice, and I thought they were dressy enough, so I got ‘em.

Another thing I should mention is that I hate shopping. I like to be in and out in 30 minutes and try to be as decisive as possible. Basically, when I see something I like, I’ll try it on to make sure it fits, and that’s about it. I don’t really take the time to look to see if it looks good with other shirts or whatever. If I like it, I get it, and if it ends up looking bad, I’ll take it back, simple. Another important part of this story, which is why this is even a story, to begin with, is the unfortunate reality that I have a bit of a small dick. It’s a little over four and a half inches hard, but when I’m soft, it’s barely a nub. It is pretty much a button that just kind of pokes out above my balls, which are also kind of small, so I’ve been told.

It’s always been something that I am extremely embarrassed about, to the point where I avoided locker rooms and have always done things wear underwear under my bathing suit. The reason I bring this up is that had I actually looked to see if it looked okay on me in the dressing room, I might have noticed that because the material was so thin, a light color, and a bit tight, it made a prominent ‘dick print‘as they say, and for me not in a good way.

Flash forward back to after school that day when I got home. As I looked in the mirror in my bathroom, I almost had a heart attack, as I could clearly see the outline of my small penis, specifically the little mushroom head that stuck out and just about a half-inch of the shaft. It basically looked like I was wearing sweatpants, another thing I avoid, but even worse because it was a little tight. You could even see how they just kind of rested on my proportionally tiny balls. Since I wore boxers, they didn’t really offer much help either. There was no mistaking it, and it was so clearly visible that it was almost hard not to notice if you looked.

I was mortified and instantly began to connect the dots. Normally, if I were just sitting at a desk all day, I probably would have been fine, but the tv cart thing I used as my desk while standing all damn day was open in the middle, and there was a pretty clear line of sight straight to my goods. Even the lights fucked me, they were theatre lights along with the regular lighting, so it was bright as hell in the room. As I began to put the pieces together, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. The giggling, the comment when I asked what was going on, the small penis sign, and of course her little man remark, it made all made sense now.

I was almost angry at myself that I solved this awful mystery so quickly, but it was that obvious looking back on it. When the girl was staring me down in her pissed-off state, she must have noticed my bulge, or lack thereof, and thought of the perfect revenge for embarrassing her. Teenagers could be pretty awful if you did not already know. She must have pointed it out to everyone via text and then took a picture with her camera. I’m sure she zoomed in as close as she could also. I remember her aiming the camera at me for at least several seconds. I tried to turn to see if maybe the outline was something I just saw from that specific angle, but it did not make a difference. It was bad no matter how I turned or stood.

I could not know for sure, as I tried to convince myself for the next few days, but a couple of weeks later, my fears were pretty much confirmed. That day I was subbing for a freshmen history teacher, trying not to think about what happened, hoping that maybe their behavior was just a coincidence, and nobody noticed anything. That was until I happened to pass by a few girls from that class while looking for the classroom I was supposed to be in. They were just standing and talking in front of some lockers, and I tried to quickly walk past them before they noticed.

As I passed them, I heard one of them say, “Oh shit, that’s the sub with the baby dick.”

Even though she was talking lowly, I was close enough that I could make out what she said. They all kind of chuckled and whispered to each other while I pretended to be looking at my phone and walked as fast as I could without it being obvious. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I know substitute teachers aren’t exact figures of authority, but to be completely emasculated by these high school girls was so demeaning and embarrassing. From that point on, I tried never to sub for any senior classes at that school again as I was sure word had spread among the students about the sub with the baby dick.

This readers naivety is his undoing…

When I was 15, we had just gotten a new swimming pool. My aunt was using the only bathroom in the house, so I changed it by the actual pool since neither my mom nor my aunt was there yet. After I had taken all my clothes off, I realized I had forgotten my swim trunks. Having absolutely no shame, I walked up to my mom and asked if she had seen my swim trunks. She turned to me and immediately started giggling from the shock of seeing me naked with a half-inch erection, then told me she didn’t know where my Trunks were. My aunt came out of the bathroom and said I had left them in there and gave them to me, giggling as well. My aunt joked that if I was so shameless, I might as well just go skinny dipping. Not understanding she was joking, I actually took her advice. While swimming, I remember seeing my mom hold up the small penis sign after I cannonballed into the pool, though I didn’t know what it meant at the time.