This story happened a long time ago, I was 18 at the time, so some of the details may be a little fuzzy. Additionally, I apologise if this becomes too lengthy. I tend to ramble.

To start, I have always had a small penis. It was something that made me feel a lot of shame when I was younger, and I think a lot of that shame stems from this experience.

My last post here was about the distinct lack of snug-fit representation at stores in my area. This was even worse when I was a teenager, but I knew I was small based on the fact that almost every man I’d ever seen naked (in change rooms and similar places) was bigger than me. So when I had the opportunity to lose my virginity, possibly, I knew I’d need a pack of small condoms.

The girl I was hanging out with later that week was also a virgin at the time, and we had both mutually agreed to lose it to each other. We weren’t dating, but we weren’t really friends either. This was a meeting of convenience. So I went out and very nervously bought the smallest condoms I could find. Which were labelled as ‘snug fit’, but I would later find out were the same size as other brands’ standard sizes. When I got home, I did what I’m sure most men do the first time they purchase condoms. Put it on and started to jerk off. I didn’t know much about condoms at the time, but I knew enough to know that something was wrong. The condom was bunched up and clearly not secure. The ring at the bottom was not creating a seal. This couldn’t be right.

So if these didn’t fit and they were the smallest I could find on the shelf, what was I going to do in a few days? I needed some form of protection. So I looked online and realised that Planned Parenthood gives out free contraceptives to people in need, and I was definitely in need. I knew I wasn’t going to lose my virginity if I didn’t get my hands on some condoms, so the next day I very timidly walked into Planned Parenthood. Thankfully, it was empty except for the lady at the front desk.

“Hi, I’m looking for some condoms.” I very likely whispered, but it felt like I was yelling.

“Yep, they’re just over there,” said the receptionist cheerfully, pointing to a shelf in the far corner of the room.

I walked over, hoping to get out of there quick, but to my dismay, there were only two buckets of condoms, one labelled regular and the other large. So I walked my way back to the counter, no condoms in hand, and muttered under my breath, “Do you carry any other condoms?”

To which the receptionist, now puzzled, replied, “No, our whole selection is over there. What is it that you need?”

I was so embarrassed, and this conversation was going on way too long, so I said, “You don’t have my size.”

This time, the receptionist rolled her eyes a little. I’m sure she was used to teenage boys walking in here and talking about how their cock was too big for condoms and all that nonsense.

“I assure you we have plenty of large and extra-large options,” she said plainly.

I was so shy that I could hardly even speak now. “No, I need something smaller.”

“What was that?” the lady asked.

“I need smaller condoms,” I said this time just loud enough for her to hear.

We both blushed with embarrassment, but she recovered quicker and offered to talk to someone. She stepped into a side room and asked loudly enough for me to hear through the door, “We don’t have any small-sized condoms, do we? Someone’s asking at the front desk.” Then she walked back out and simply said, “Oh, we don’t have any snug-fit condoms out here, but you can speak to the nurse.”

I assumed this meant I could get some from the nurse, so I agreed, but I was oh so wrong. I walked into the nurse’s office and waited for only about a minute before a 20-something-year-old woman walked in. “So what seems to be the problem?” she asked.

I was much more shy talking to someone closer to my own age, so it took me a second. Still, finally I was able to vocalise, “My penis is too small for regular condoms, so I bought a snug fit one, but it still slipped off, and I can’t find smaller ones at any store,” I said this all in one breath, just trying to get it over with.

The nurse didn’t look at all taken aback, she just frowned a little and said, “Oh, so it’s an issue of size. And you can’t find any condoms that fit at the drug store?”

“No,” I replied. “There was only one brand of snug fit, and it was too large.”

Wordlessly, she reached into a drawer and pulled out three things: a condom, an internal condom, and a dental dam. Holding up the condom (which I think was one brand, but I can’t remember), she said something that I’ll never forget.

“This isn’t a snug fit, but everyone I’ve talked to who comes in here complains that they are way too small, so maybe they’ll fit on you.”

Before handing me the condom, she explained how internal condoms and dental dams work, but at this point, I wasn’t listening.

I was so embarrassed and ashamed, it was bad enough to have to come to Planned Parenthood looking for condoms small enough, it was even worse to have to talk to two different women about it, but not even to get a proper fitting condom and worse, have a nurse so casually humiliate me and my lack of size. I was crushed.

I walked out, got in my car, and in an act of hurt and defiance, ripped open that condom package and pulled out my dick right there in the parking lot. It was surprisingly easy to get hard even through the shame (likely due to my newly blossoming Sph fetish). And put on that condom that was ‘too small for everybody but might fit me.’

And damn it, she was right.

The condom that was too small for everyone else was still too big for me.

Fuck!

 

The End.

 

 

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