SPH Experiences: Humiliating Myself
By pink4bbc.
[google-translator]

So over the last few years, the amount of porn I watched since my divorce had increased so much that I think become an addict and a pervert.
So much so that I started to have problems getting hard, and when I did get hard, I often had trouble getting off. This led me to watch more and more perverted and kinky porn. So I could get hard and come, but eventually I would have the same difficulties.
I watched all straight, lesbian, group, gang bang, interracial, BDSM, cuckold, exhibition, humiliation, you name I went through it. Then I came across she-male porn, and that blew my mind and changed everything.
They were so hot and sexy, and I was ashamed of myself because of how horny I got and how quickly I would cum. Especially watching something that, at the time, seemed so wrong and made me feel there was something wrong with me. (How narrow-minded I was for thinking that way, and I’m happy that I have broadened my horizons.)
Of course, this eventually leads to the gay section and the sissy addicted to big black cocks. It got to the stage that the only thing that made me hard and able to cum was watching a faggot serving black men and being called a faggot cocksucker I couldn’t help myself, but once I had cum I was so ashamed of myself.
This continued to the point that I was thinking of black cock all the time, even dreaming about it. I was not ashamed anymore, and I started to feel like I was bisexual. I would watch BBC and sissy hypnosis videos even though deep down I knew that they were not real and just a gimmick, but I couldn’t stop.
But as time has passed, maybe I was wrong, and they really did work, because I certainly had an entirely different mindset. So please be careful, people.
Then one night, my desire to suck black cock got too much, so I found a local escort and paid to suck my first black cock. The humiliation I felt making that phone call to ask another man if I could suck on his cock and to make me a real black cocksucking faggot was unbelievable.
As soon as we established he was free and could be around in an hour, I was so excited that I thought I would cum in my panties.
The fact that I was also paying for it showed how desperate and pathetic I was. My tiny little dick was twitching like crazy, so while I waited, I put on some hold-up white stockings and pink panties. Painted my nails hot pink and finished with hot pink lipstick. Fuck was I really going to do this to actually touch another man’s cock and then suck it? Could I really do it?
So, here I was in girly underwear watching this black man undress in front of me. I was biting my lip as soon as his cock was in full view. He was at least 6 inches (ca. 15 cm) soft. I was harder than I can ever remember, but it didn’t help that lately I was usually limp. So, this was a clear sign that I was absolutely loving it!
I was surprised that I didn’t chicken out. In fact, as soon as he asked me to get on my knees. I was down there and sucking him instantly. I suck licked and kissed. I took him all the way in my mouth, and the head pushed into my throat. He started to grow to full harness, making me gag as I took all of his now 9-inch cock down my throat until I was balls deep.
Furthermore, I was choking and slobbering everywhere and struggling to breathe, but at that very moment, I didn’t care; I was in pure bliss.
Thank goodness, I had been practicing on my 8-inch black for at least a year.
I sucked him for the entire hour I had paid for until the point, and without any warning, I tasted his cum in my mouth, and without even thinking about it, I swallowed the lot; it just happens so naturally.
So, thinking to myself weeks later, there must be some black men out there who just wanted their cock sucked because it was gonna start getting costly if I kept paying for it.
So, I joined Grinder and got chatting with a few, mostly time wasters. Then I started talking to this man, and we exchanged numbers and set up a meet.
All day, we were texting each other about what we wanted from each other, and again, my penis was like stone at the thought of the evening ahead.
I texted him saying I was leaving, and then he told me that one of his friends was also on his way to him, and I would get two black cocks.
This frightened me as I wasn’t ready to try to please two black cocks, it was too much, too soon. So, I stayed home, very horny and frustrated, and pissed off.
So, thinking maybe I should give up on this, I don’t understand why, but I called a female escort. Before I realized it, I was standing in front of her and being told to strip.
That’s when it dawned on me that I was totally smooth below my neck, apart from the tiny little square above my dick, which made me look even more like a faggot.
Oh, well, here goes, so I undressed and stood there with my tiny little dick. I’m sure that I saw a smirk on her face as she tried not to laugh. She started to put a condom on me with her mouth.
I was so humiliated because it took her a while to get me a bit hard to get it on, once she did, she lay back down and said fuck me, and hurry.
Well, this was a disaster: I flopped around trying to get in, and when we did, I couldn’t feel anything. She looked to the side, bored, avoiding eye contact. I could see that she was struggling not to laugh.
Secretly, I was hoping she would let go and just laugh her head off at me; that would have blown my mind.
She suddenly pushed me off and said, “Time’s up. Get dressed.” There was plenty of time; she just had enough. I was so embarrassed.
On my way home and still haven’t emptied my balls, I suddenly realized that I must be a full-blown faggot now, and all my masculinity was gone.
I was rock-hard talking to black men and a couple of strokes from coming, yet I was just with a woman who was sucking and trying to fuck, and I was still limp.
*****
So now I don’t get hard or excited over women and being completely brainless for big black cocks. The fact that I did this to myself, no one had forced me into any of this, well, maybe too many black cock faggot Hypno videos online. I started to believe they were real, and, over many, many viewings, they actually had affected me. And worst of all, I was still watching them. The idea that they actually did work turned me on even more.
So at this point, with the way all this made me feel, and clearly my cock agreed. I decided that prostitute pussy’s that I failed epically would be the last pussy I ever see in the flesh, I became officially pussy free as I knew I didn’t deserve it anymore. However, I still absolutely loved being verbally humiliated by women. Having a sexy woman call me a black cock sucking faggot was so powerful; the word FAGGOT just did something to me, and I craved it. Now it was even more shameful. Because I was not even trying to get in their knickers, the women that I’d speak to online absolutely loved it when I would confess this information, and Im sure some were affected by it as they were actually getting dirtier.
The fact that they were humiliating me and making me feel so inferior to them, and Black men never let me see any pictures, or if we went on WebCam, I would always be covered up in extremely sexy outfits and never remove anything.
Sometimes they would record short videos to send to me, with them stripping, and every time they would remove their bras or panties. Their pussy or titts would be instantly covered by little pictures of big black dicks and laughing so hard as they knew that was closest to seeing a pussy ever again, as it was all tiny, get white boys like me deserved.
It was about 3 1/2 to 4 years ago that I couldn’t resist the urge any longer, and I ended up paying for the privilege to suck my first big black cock. It was fantastic, and if you’ve read my 100% true story titled “Humiliate Myself,” go check it out first. I think you will like it, and you’ll make this one better by having the backstory.
I knew the experience would change me, and there would be no going back. I’d no longer be able to claim to be straight; I’d be bisexual. But after the emasculating and humiliating events of the previous story, I knew that would be a lie, as I had turned entirely myself all the way. I could feel that I was definitely now a full-on black cock-sucking faggot.
So, this is what made me decide to make myself 100% pussy-free, black cock only. So for the last three or four years, that’s precisely how I have lived, and that’s how it will stay. Every time I’ve had an orgasm since, it’s always involved a black cock, and it’s been at least 6 months since my last satisfying cum release, because only ruined cum dribbles for me now. This also involved me locking myself in a little pink nub chastity cage that was still too big.
But I knew I needed a smaller one, as when erect, I can barely reach 4 inches, and when I’m soft, I’m barely an inch. I was searching around when I came across an article about how wearing a cage for too long can shrink your cock. That’s when I found the flat, inverted cages people were using to shrink. Oddly, this idea turned me on.
I started to think about what it would be like to shrink my cock, even though it was already small. Could I really shrink it anymore? This idea really turned me on. So, I ordered a flat steel cage with a built-in lock. I was so horny. I gave myself three ruined orgasms in quick succession while staring at black cocks and sucking my big black dildo.
Thank God for next-day delivery. So, in the morning while I waited, I made sure I was nice and smooth from neck to toe, apart from the tiny inch-square patch above my little penis, which was my reminder from a past partner of how pathetic it made me look. And how much she laughed the first time I tried it, but she told me to make sure it was always that way, just to humiliate me, even when she wasn’t around.
When it arrived, I was hard just opening the package, so I had to get soft. I decided to make it uncomfortable, so I submerged myself in a bowl of ice water. It was humiliating as the cold stung painfully, but it did the trick.
So, I quickly locked my shriveled-up penis and tiny little shriveled balls into their new home. I couldn’t believe how flat it really was. There was absolutely no room at all for me to even slightly twitch, let alone try to get hard. With that, I started to feel the pain as my penis was trying to get hard, but there was no room even to grow a tiny bit. It was such an erotic, humiliating horny feeling.
I now knew I was gonna have to do something drastic to make sure I didn’t give up. I knew that to try and shrink my dick even more, I was going to have to stay in it for at least three or four months without getting a proper erection or any relief, even if it would be ruined.
After some thought, I decided I would visit my mum and dad and hide the keys in their garage. This way, in a weak moment in the evenings or whenever, I won’t be able to unlock myself. I’d have to travel to them to get it, and obviously have a reason to be there. What I did in the next couple of days after coming back from hiding it was absolutely unbelievably horny. I was constantly dripping pre-cum, as not being able just to unlock myself easily was hot as hell.
Then a few nights later, during a WebCam chat with this incredibly sexy dominant woman, I’d met online a few months back.
She absolutely loved to make me show myself on WebCam to her so she could degrade and humiliate me. While she would stay entirely clothed, I absolutely loved it, and she also enjoyed me confessing my kinks and desires to her.
When she saw my new cage, I was wearing. I told her about my plan to shrink my little cock even more. She laughed and didn’t believe that I wouldn’t cheat. No one with a little penis like yours would ever willingly want to shrink it more. Can you imagine you would literally have a clit if you shrunk yours more, she said.
Then, with an evil smile, she told me how great it would be if I ended up with a bit of clitty. She had a plan. She wanted to be my keyholder, so she should ensure I didn’t cheat. She wanted me to pick up the keys and post them to her, and if I didn’t do that, this would be the last interaction we would have, and she knew she had me because she knew how much I craved her dominance and humiliation.
When I agreed, I told her I would collect them tomorrow and have them posted for next-day delivery so that she would have them within two days. She was delighted and made me beg her and tell her how much I wanted to shrink my little dick to a tiny clitty.
With a great big laugh, she said, “I hope this cage-shrinking thing isn’t an urban legend, because if not, we’ll have to find another way that actually works.”
I hope you enjoyed this true story, and there is more to come that I can’t believe has actually happened, but it certainly did, and what fun it’s been.
*****
So I’m locked in my new flat cage and just got back from collecting the keys. I stopped at the post office on my way home and sent them next-day delivery to a dominant woman that I had only known for a few months and only online to become my new key holder.
I was so excited but also terrified that she might disappear on me and I wouldn’t be able to get the keys back, but this dangerous situation was also getting me horny.
So I went online and messaged her to let her know that the keys were on the way and she should have them tomorrow. She replied a little later and said she would be in touch when she had them, and I was not to contact her under any circumstance until I had heard from her first..
Three days later she still hasn’t let me know she has my keys, and I am starting to get nervous, but I convinced myself she is just teasing me to show how she is controlling me. I resisted contacting her, and the next day she messaged me and told me to go on cam at 9pm and be naked.I was so happy and extremely excited to talk to her, and it felt like 9pm took forever to come, but dead on 9 I was on cam naked with just the cage on.
She connected with me,and she was dressed in a red latex dominatrix catsuit and looking absolutely stunning and straight away laid out her rules as she was dangling only one of the keys.
I was told that the other one was with her friend, who was going to help her as a second key holder for safety in case something happened that required emergency release, making sure that I was safe in getting the keys.
But also every 2 weeks one of them would be visiting me to clean and shave my little dick to make sure that I’m humiliated and very frustrated. I am also to be submissive to both of them.
This sounds like it’s going to be very difficult for me and painful, as I’m straining against the steel that will make me even more pathetic when I’m just left with a clit between my legs.
I’m allowed to cum as much as I want if I can find a way somehow whilst I’m caged, but I have to be wearing something girly and slutty and eat my own cum after smearing it on my favorite black dildo and sucking it off like the faggot I am. This will emasculate me and help me to shrink faster, according to the research she got from the internet.
So, faggot boi, did you unlock yourself before you posted the keys the other day to get your pathetic excuse of a dick off, as you have no idea how long I will make you suffer without getting an erection or getting to cum?And before you answer, think about it carefully because I will know if you lie to me, and I will punish you if necessary.
No, I promise you that I went straight to the post office, as I know I would have definitely unlocked it if I didn’t get it posted asap. And I knew you would have been very disappointed with me, and I would probably have regretted it if you found out.
Good boi, so it’s been 6 days locked, and have you tried to cum in this time? Yes, I have the last couple of days because I didn’t hear from you until today. I was so turned on and horny as hell and a little anxious and scared.
But I couldn’t get myself over the edge, but I was so close, but only after a couple of hours humping my pillow and feeling like such a pathetic loser.
Wow, I bet you must be so frustrated and desperate for a release to lighten the load in your swollen balls. So between now and next weekend, I want you to try. Relentlessly until you get yourself over the edge and dribble out a ruined orgasm before next weekend.
I want you to buy a new sissy slutty complete outfits from lingerie, dress heels, the full works. And get all dolled up Friday night, ready for my friend. And you better impress because I will get a full report about your behavior.
That night I humped a pillow until I was so exhausted that I fell asleep frustrated, and this was the same thing for the next two days, still unable to get a little relief.
The following day I went shopping for a new sissy outfit to wear for a stranger that I had no clue what they were into, so I decided on lace crotchless panties so my caged clit was hanging out and a bra and hold-up stockings, all in virgin sissy white.
Then I picked out a pair of 4-inch-high stripper heels in neon pink and a sheer pink mini dress. By the time I got home, I was so excited and desperate to cum.
I went straight to my pillow, and after about an hour and a half, I finally got myself off, and I dribbled an unsatisfactory orgasm. I was still just as frustrated and horny. I was so humiliated by the way I had just acted.
Finally Friday arrived, and I decided that I would really pull out all the stops for my visitor. I went to the local nail salon, and the shame I felt was like nothing else I had experienced. As I had long false nails in pink and my toes painted by a sexy young woman who was enjoying my uneasiness in this humiliating way.
So a few hours later I was in my living room dressed up looking a full-on sissy faggot This was so nerve-racking and I was feeling how much I was straining in my cage to get hard, but it was impossible.
That’s when I saw a car pull into my driveway, and when I saw the driver, I was shocked and shaking like crazy, and I was hotter than I think I ever was…
The End.

*The opinions/views expressed in this story (and in any comments) are those of the author and do not represent this site. We support freedom of speech. This story has been previously published on other free websites and is now in the public domain, allowing us to republish it here.