Sperm Sample Collection Help
By AndyHastings.
Lori finished her tests quickly. While we waited for her results, I pushed her to get Jay in for his. She said he was dragging his feet. After a few days, I started wondering if he was scared that the problem might be him. That sort of fear and guilt was very common.
Then, one afternoon just before closing, Jay finally walked in. Lori had made him come; their vacation started tomorrow, flight at eight a.m.
“You’re in luck,” I said. “If we can finish in thirty minutes, the courier can still take the sample today.”
I rushed him to the back, checked his vitals, drew blood, and handed him the cup.
“I went before I left work,” he said. “Do you have a water fountain I can…”
“Not urine,” I said gently, “semen sample.”
“Ah…”
And in Jay went. The room has everything he needs. Magazines. A TV with preloaded content. Lubrication. It’s all there.
Five minutes later, as I’m standing close, but not too close to the door, I don’t want to hear anything, he walks out.
“Everything okay?”
“I can’t… can’t.”
I’ve been doing this for a while. I know performance anxiety. Many studies suggest that a lot of what is coined ED is not so much medical or biological, but psychological. Pressure is a big boner-killer.
I checked my watch. Fifteen minutes. I knew more pressure would only make this worse for Jay.
“When do you get back?”
“The first.”
“That’s two weeks! Lori will die.”
“I know, she wants to hear good news while we’re away.”
I screwed up my mouth as I pondered this, lips tightening crookedly to one side. I really did want to help them.
“Jay, I know this is a weird question. Please don’t take it the wrong way,” I said. “But what usually does it for you?”
“Honestly?”
“It’s why I’m asking.”
I knew we had other backup items, videos, and things that might help. But before I could list some options, he blurted it out: “Humiliation.”
His shoulders slumped as his body sank.
“Like name-calling, or…”
“Small Penis Humiliation.”
“Oh,” I said.
Now, I’m a professional, through and through. I had an arsenal of tools at my disposal, but I had nothing to help him at that moment. What I had were questions. Questions that I could not ask while maintaining professionalism.
Does Lori know?
Do you have a small penis, or is this just a kink?
Or simply, why?
The other thing I had was a deadline. The truck was coming.
“Go back in the room, Jay.”
I followed him in, in disbelief at my plan, and unsure it would work. I told myself that Jay wouldn’t see me naked and I wouldn’t have sex with him, so nothing that Lori needed to know about. Besides, I was doing this for her.
Last fall, while sick with the flu, I binged a show about a dominatrix. It was a guilty pleasure. My fiancé would just roll his eyes anytime he walked in to check on me.
“Eric,” I said one such time, “would you like to be tied up and denied orgasm?”
He laughed. “Fuck, no!”
I hadn’t thought so.
As Jay sat at the table, I tried to recall some of the scenes. There had been some dirty talk and very kinky shit.
I checked my watch again. I had twelve minutes, my pink scrubs, and my sailor’s mouth.
For a second, I considered backing out. Delays happen. No one would blame me.
But then, stopping seemed so… anticlimactic.
“You’d better strip,” I said.
His fingers fumbled with his belt. Jeans hit the floor. When he pulled his cock out, it was already half-hard, average at best, maybe a little less. Definitely not the kind of dick that would ruin a woman.
I let the silence stretch just long enough for his cheeks to flush.
“Oh my god,” I said, voice low. “That’s it?”
Jay shuddered visibly, hand wrapping around himself as he started to stroke.
“If you were inside me,” I continued, stepping closer so one of my sneakers planted between his feet, “I’m not sure I’d even feel anything.”
A broken little groan slipped out of him as his hand moved faster.
As I watched him, heat flushed through my chest and down between my legs. My panties were getting damp. What the hell is wrong with me? I didn’t want to fuck Jay. I was engaged to Eric, with his thick, perfect cock that actually filled me up and made my eyes roll back. The one I said yes to because he ruins me in the best way.
That and the way he makes me laugh and feel safe and, well… everything.
And yet here I was, getting wet because my best friend’s husband was jerking his much smaller dick.
“When you fuck Lori, does she ever pretend it feels good? Or do you think she’s just being nice?”
His cock twitched hard in his hand. A clear bead of precum rolled over his fingers.
“I… I think she pretends sometimes,” he whispered.
“That’s what I figured.” I shook my head, letting a little pity creep into my tone. “A pretty girl like Lori deserves actually to feel it, don’t you think? Instead, she gets that sad little thing. No wonder you need me to say it out loud just to stay hard.”
“Please…” he breathed.
“Please, what?” I tilted my head, keeping my face composed even though my own thighs were pressing together. “Please keep humiliating yourself? Or please let you cum?”
“Both,” he gasped.
I smiled, surprising myself with how easily it came, and nodded.
“When I say so, and only when I say so, you’re going to aim every drop into that cup. Understood?”
He nodded, eyes locked on me.
I crossed my arms under my breasts, lifting them while squeezing them together. Suggestive, yes, but still entirely clothed.
“I need a really big dick to cum. Do you ever wonder if your wife would cum more on a bigger cock?”
“Unhhh,” he groaned, “yes, I do.”
“I do, too.”
I looked down at my breasts, tight against the scrub top, and angled my wrist so I could check the time. I needed to make this happen, and quickly.
Still holding my breasts up with one arm, I slipped the other down, hand moving beneath my elastic waistband and under my panties. I was soaked. I pressed my fingers against my clit and slowly circled.
I moaned as I slipped two fingers inside.
“Let me see,” he begged.
My chest tightened as his eager eyes landed on mine. I looked down at his cock and thought, well, what’s the difference? And so I shimmied my pants down my hips and peeled my underwear away.
His gaze was on my hand, between my thighs, my fingers curled inside. His hand jerked faster. And then mine moved faster. In. Out. Watching pre-cum leak from him.
“I’m close,” I said, breathless. “Are you?”
He nodded. He reached beside him and grabbed the cup, holding it against his tip.
I closed my eyes and pictured Eric, on me, in me, and bit my lip.
After I came, I opened my eyes. The lid was on the sample. His was zipped up. I yanked my pants up and threw some cool water on my face.
I checked my watch for the last time. I smiled at Jay as I grabbed the cup.
“Just in time. Have a good vacation,” I said. “I hope to call you guys with good news.”
*****
Jay walked back in a few weeks later. His eyes were sad, and I couldn’t blame him.
Ever since I’d called Lori with the news, I hadn’t been quite right. I couldn’t imagine what they were going through, but I knew it felt like a door slamming shut.
He asked to talk privately, so I took him to the conference room and closed the door. Neither of us sat.
“Lori is devastated. And it’s my fault.”
“It’s not your fault, Jay.”
“I can’t get her pregnant. She wants babies, lots of them.”
“There are options. Sperm banks, donors, some experimental…”
“I told her that. It’s like she’s given up.”
“Give her time. She’s still processing. I’ve known Lori a long time; she’s levelheaded. She’ll come around.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Jay, why are you here?”
He exhaled. “Last night she cried herself to sleep. I sat there with a notebook, doodling, making lists, trying to think of how I could fix this. And then I thought about our appointment.” He paused. “You’re the only person I can ask this without them thinking I’ve lost my mind. Because we were both… complicit.”
Oh, no.
“Okay,” I said carefully.
“Would you be okay with… Eric and Lori?”
“Having sex?”
“Yes.” His body sagged like he’d been holding that word for hours.
“You want Eric to be the donor. Naturally.”
“I read a study about female orgasm increasing the odds of conception and—”
“The research on that is thin.”
“It makes sense, though. And I don’t think Lori has ever been with me. That’s why I blame myself.”
“Jay. Your body doesn’t produce active sperm. Even if the theory held, the result would be the same.”
“Which is why I’m here asking this incredibly awkward question.”
“I don’t know how he’d react. I’m not sure how I feel about it either. Let me think on it.”
“Thank you. I know this is weird. I hate that I’m even asking.”
I placed my hand on his shoulder, felt the heat of him through his shirt. He looked down at it.
“I’ll ask. It’s not as crazy as you think. People do this, but not usually friends. And even less often two couples who are.”
*****
Later that night, I crawled into bed beside Eric. The moment my head touched his shoulder, he set his book down.
“What’s up, Peaches? You only do this,” he said, wiggling his shoulder, “when something’s on your mind.”
I traced a finger across his chest. “You know how Lori and Jay have been trying?”
“Yeah. Jay’s shooting blanks, right?”
I winced. “They’re talking about a donor. A natural one. Someone they trust.”
Eric went very still. “Naturally, as in…”
“As in, the old-fashioned way.”
He let out a surprised laugh. “This is a trap?”
“No trap.” I straddled him slowly, feeling him already thickening against me. “They asked me. And… I told them I’d think about it.”
Eric’s hands settled on my hips. “You’re serious.”
I rocked gently against him, letting my wetness soak through my thin shorts. “The idea of you getting Lori pregnant… it shouldn’t turn me on. But it does. My strong, fertile man. The stud.”
His cock twitched hard beneath me. “Fuck,” he groaned.
“Thinking about Lori on her back, under you…under this,” I grabbed him and slid my shorts to the side and took his tip in. Gasping, I lowered my hips down, taking him slowly. “She’s so small and not accustomed to someone so…not small,” I said, grinning.
Eric’s eyes narrowed, probably still wondering where the lines were, and if he asked, I wasn’t sure I’d have an answer. “She needs a bigger dick?”
“Fuck,” I said, “yes. Your big dick. Filling her belly.”
I ground my body against him, pressing my clit against his firm frame, stretched by him inside me. His fingers dug into my hips as his breath was hot on my chest. My eyes rolled back as a moan escaped me.
This shouldn’t be so fucking hot.
And as I rode through my orgasm, my pussy tightened around him, and my body pulled his release from him. He groaned as he filled me, warmth spreading deep within. I collapsed on his chest, fingers stroking it slowly as our breathing eased.
“Damn,” he said.
“I know, right?”
“So we are doing this?”
I nodded.
*****
Over the next few days, we had the hottest sex we have had in years. It wasn’t planned. I’d be thinking about how to talk with Lori. Or Eric and I would just start talking logistics. And then we were in bed, fucking like we were trying to break each other.
Later in the week, I texted Lori about grabbing some coffee. When we sat down with our paper cups and our croissants, I could tell she was struggling. My friend’s eyes were slow. Her mouth weak.
I told her I was there, and if she wanted to talk about anything…
“It’s just the baby stuff. I don’t know what to do.”
I could have suggested her options again. But that felt like I would be throwing them in her face. Instead, I reached for her hand.
Waited.
“Jay thinks we should find a donor. But something about that process feels so hollow. So empty. So clinical.”
“What about more,” I said, pausing, “natural methods?”
Her brow furrowed as she took a sip of her coffee. “What do you mean?”
“You know, actual sex.”
“But that would involve another man.”
“Yes,” I said.
“I don’t think Jay would support that, even if it were-”
“Ask him. He might surprise you. When he came in to get tested, he wouldn’t shut up about how he’d do anything to help you.” I said, squeezing her hand. “He wants you to be happy.”
“Where would we find anyone who would-”
“Sleep with a fucking hot-as-hell woman?”
Lori laughed, her cheeks reddening.
“Please,” she said.
“I asked Eric already,” I said.
Her mouth fell open. “Shut up. You did not.”
I nodded.
“Why did you do that? What did he say?”
“He said he would, because he knows how much it means to you and Jay.”
She looked down at her hands, cradling that cup, and bit her lip.
“It scares me,” she said, looking back up to me.
“What does?”
“Being with another man, and how Jay will really feel about it. I know he wants me to be happy, but what if he’s secretly angry or becomes resentful? I don’t think I could deal with that.”
“Lor, don’t overthink this. It’s a natural donation. Someone you trust. Someone safe.”
“But, what if I…”
She trailed off. I waited.
She didn’t finish.
I knew what she meant.
“I’ll do it.”
I smiled and touched her knee.
“If Jay agrees to it.”
For the first time all morning, Lori smiled.
Truly smiled.
Her shoulders moved back as she sat straighter.
“I’d better get to the gym,” she said.
“Why the fuck would you say that? You’re gorgeous.”
“No, I’m nervous. It has been so long since another man has seen me.”
“Please. You’re more than fine. You are one hot piece.”
I leaned forward and hugged her.
“Thank you,” she said, whispering in my ear. I felt a tear run between our cheeks.
“Love you, girl.”
The End.
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