Blacked Life
A Fictional Story by blackeddesires.
Holly huffed, stroking his dicklet half-heartedly with two fingers.
Alex tipped his eyes to the back of Holly’s head. He had his hands on her hips, and she was sitting on him, her round ass so heavy it felt like it was about to crush his pelvis. Few people would’ve considered Holly fat; she definitely had a fair bit of meat on her, but Alex loved that. She was soft and plump, a joy to hold and feel.
“What if I just grab my phone—” Alex couldn’t even finish his sentence.
“Don’t fucking say it, you’re such an asshole! Why do you need to watch porn to get hard? Am I just not hot enough for you?” Holly hopped off next to him on the bed and stared him dead in the eyes.
“It’s not that at all! I just…” Alex was really embarrassed about his porn addiction, especially when it was always a very specific category which she, thankfully, still did not know about.
“Alex, you need to do something about this. I’m so fucking sexually frustrated! If you don’t quit watching porn and gripping your dick so damn hard that you can’t even feel or get hard for me, I will fuck someone else!” Holly furiously exclaimed.
Alex felt his heart drop. Tears started to well in his eyes. She’d never talked to him like this. But it was understandable, though. Holly had been struggling to find the right job so they could afford a better place together, and exams were piling on her. She’d been stressed out, and Alex was unable to relieve her the way she desperately needed.
“Oh… Baby, I- I am so sorry.” Holly’s eyes widened, her face visible with remorse. “I did not mean that at all, I’ve just been so stressed lately…”
Alex sat up in bed as Holly inched closer towards him to comfort her defeated boyfriend. And then, what Holly had said just set in. She’d really just told him she’d fuck someone else, and that made his heart flutter with excitement.
“No, it’s okay. I’m not exactly happy about this either, y’know?” Alex reassured her as Holly let out an obviously forced laugh.
As Holly laid her head on his shoulder, she reached over him to grab his phone.
“Here, do what you need to,” Holly said.
Alex hesitantly grabbed his phone. As he opened up the browser and searched a porn site, Holly watched him with one arm wrapped around him, her head still on his shoulder.
It can’t just be any porn…
A tightly guarded secret Alex has kept: his addiction to interracial porn. He knew he couldn’t just type in “BBC” or even just “interracial”. Alex scrolled through the front page, praying he’d just happen to come across the right video without it seeming weird.
Aha!
Finally, he found one. He nervously tapped on the video with a blonde, busty pornstar and a muscular black man with an 11-inch BBC, at least.
Alex slowly moved his hand down to his crotch…
*Smack!*
Alex jerked his hand back.
“What do you think you’re doing? You’re meant to be saving that for me, dumbass!” Holly playfully said.
“You didn’t have to hit me, though!” Alex laughed. However, he would love it if she just smacked him as hard as she could. He always loved more assertive, dominant women despite how intimidated they made him feel, but Holly just wasn’t that kind of girl. She needed someone to put her in her place, but Alex struggled with it.
In the video, the pornstar went down on her knees. She eagerly tried to shove as much of his big black cock as she could into her mouth, rapidly stroking his shaft with both hands.
Alex let out a small moan. Sloppy and passionate blowjobs were one of the most visually appealing sexual acts to him. Mainly because he loved spit, and watching so much of it drip down while a giant black cock gagged the fuck out of a pretty white girl really got him hot and bothered.
Holly giggled and joked, “Oh, are you into black guys now, like my friends?”
Alex stuttered at the question, “I- I’m not even paying attention to the guy!”
Holly laughed even more. “I’m just teasing you, baby. But wow, I wonder if their boyfriends are that big too? Jenna always brags about her damn sex life; apparently, Dante is a ‘beast’ in bed.”
Holly looked almost mesmerized by what she was seeing, which finally made Alex’s little white pp grow erect.
Oh fuck, is she into this?
Alex had always thought about how interracial relationships were becoming a more common thing and even trendy; the black men her friends dated only helped confirm that. They’d always made jokes about how much bigger black men were as well, and how much they loved to stick it to their racist parents by dating outside their race.
Alex never really used to think about race differences. He was a fairly progressive person, but after consuming so much porn, he grew self-conscious about his dick size and general physical features, and if black men were bigger and more attractive than him, they were better than him. But being the masochist he is, he was excited by that fact.
“Oooh, look who’s hard now!” Holly cheerfully said as she grabbed his phone and tossed it to the other side of the bed.
Holly put one leg over him and sat on his lap, and suddenly they were face to face. Her belly pressed against his fully erect dick, mashing it between their stomachs as she ground into him. Longingly looking into his eyes, she lifted her body to stick his dick inside of her.
Feeling her warm, wet pussy glide across the tip of his dick, Alex felt like he was already about to burst. The head of his dick was the only place still sensitive; going any lower than that, his prick just felt numb. Regardless, he was just happy he was able to finally fuck Holly again.
She lowered down, completely taking in his 5 incher, and started to bounce in his lap. She let out faint moans, which wasn’t anything unusual. Alex knew he wasn’t big enough for her, even though she’d never said it.
Their bodies rubbed against each other, feeling the warmth of each other’s flesh and sweat building up, making their skin slicker. Alex looked deep into Holly’s eyes and pulled her in for a kiss.
Their lips locked passionately, as Holly quickly moved her hips at a rhythmic pace. Alex’s arms wrapped tightly around her, completely embracing her. She moved her face away, a rope of spit stringing between their mouths.
“I love you, Holly,” Alex whimpered, grinding his tiny dick back into her while she continued moving her hips. Being intimate with her was the only pleasure he could get, thanks to death-gripping completely ruining the nerves in his dick.
“I love you too, baby,” Holly said in a rather monotone voice. And that was when it clicked. The look on her face… She actually looked a little bored. She wasn’t enjoying this.
Feeling worried that she might leave him or fuck someone else, as she said earlier, it took him out of the moment completely, and his dick went soft immediately. Holly stopped moving her hips entirely and looked at him in annoyance.
“Ugh! Really, Alex!?” Holly had evidently had it with him. She moved off him, crawling to her side of the bed, and at no point did she utter a word. She turned over and lay down, aggressively pulling the blanket over her.
Alex guessed it was now time for bed.
He slowly moved under the covers, being very careful not to disturb Holly. Now snuggled up in the fetal position, he incessantly went over what just happened in his head until finally, he fell asleep.
One Month Later…
Alex quietly lay on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, desperately attempting to ignore his erection.
The past month had been absolute hell for him. The last time he and Holly had sex, it had ended in a huge discussion, which, as usual, ended in an ultimatum.
Either Alex stopped watching porn, or Holly would leave him.
Holly was just too important to Alex. He was so invested in her. They’d already been together for nearly a year, and he’d done everything he could for that girl. He followed her around like a puppy, bought her gifts nearly every week, took care of most of the bills, fixed dinner every night, did most of the chores around the house, and drove her wherever she needed to be.
He loved that girl to death.
Alex was, for the most part, the perfect boyfriend.
He sighed, turning to look at his sleeping beauty. Her light-brown hair covered most of her face, drool dripping from her pillowy lips.
She was perfect.
“It’s such a cliché thing to say, especially in a moment like this, but you’ve really never looked more beautiful,” Alex said, reaching his hand over to gently brush some hair out of her face, wiping the drool from her bottom lip and chin with his thumb.
And then, out of complete degenerate hornyness, he stuck his thumb into his mouth and ate her drool.
“Fuck… Why did I do that?” he said to himself and sighed again. He turned back over to stare at the ceiling. He couldn’t cave in. Holly had forbidden any sexual activity until he beat his porn addiction, even including masturbation altogether. And the more he relapsed, the longer it was going to take before he got to fuck her again.
He turned to the left of his bed and faced his nightstand to see his phone.
One more time can’t hurt…
He grabbed it and slid under his blanket. His dick grew and soon strained against his sweatpants, eager to be released.
Alex opened up the browser and searched once more for his favorite site. Immediately, an interracial video with over 7 million views was on the front page!
It had been so long at this point; it felt like watching porn for the first time again. His heart raced, sweat dripping down his forehead.
He glanced at Holly, who remained dead asleep.
Good.
He looked back at his phone, his hands shaking as he had slight trouble tapping on the video. But he managed eventually, and a classic porn logo flashed on the screen.
The video began with a thick goth girl on her knees. She groped her double-D tits and stuck her tongue out with her eyes crossed.
Her eyes pointed to the left of the screen, and a big smile spread across her face as a young and fit black stud emerged from the side of the camera and walked toward her with a semi-hard cock. His massive BBC wasn’t even fully erect yet, and it was already way bigger than Alex could ever dream of being.
He reached down to his pants to pull his throbbing pp out, when suddenly…
*RING RING* *RING RING*
“Ugh, are you fucking-?” Alex annoyingly said. The Caller ID revealed it was his boss. He quickly tried to put his dick back into his pants before noticing that Holly had opened her eyes. Ignoring it, he sat up and answered the phone.
“Uh, hello?” Alex confusedly asked. He was supposed to be off today.
A deep voice that almost boomed through the phone rang in his ear. “Hey, I hate to do this cause I know it’s your day off, but I just had two more people quit on me, and I’d really appreciate it if you could clock in.”
Alex fell back on his bed.
“Alright, sure. I’ll be there in about an hour, maybe.” Alex huffed, wishing he could just learn to say no, but he’d always been afraid of getting into conflicts and making others upset, even though it was coming at the cost of his own feelings. He really did like his boss as well. The man always stuck his neck out for him and had given him multiple raises that had helped him and Holly out so much. How could he say no?
“Thanks, buddy. I’ll see you shortly,” his boss said, hanging up. Alex looked at the clock. The time was 8:54 AM. He’d always hated being up this early, mostly from his habit of staying up late to play video games.
“You going into work?” Holly’s voice perked. She sat up quickly, raising an eyebrow as she looked down at him with narrow eyes, still too tired to open them completely.
Holly seemed a little enthusiastic when she asked that, but Alex dismissed it and said, “Unfortunately. Two more people decided to fucking quit. Typical shit as always.” Holly gave a faint laugh as Alex finally pulled himself out of bed and headed toward the bathroom to get ready.
Alex’s heart started racing, though. Did she catch me?
“Oh, so we’re just going to ignore that you were jerking off just now?” Holly said, laughing.
Alex’s heart skipped a beat. He spun around to face her.
“Did you, uh..? I mean, I uh, I-” Alex didn’t know what to say. If she caught him again, she could leave him.
“Don’t worry about it,” Holly sounded dismissive; she definitely was not happy with him.
“I didn’t actually get to masturbate or anything; the call basically stopped me. I’m sorry,” Alex said, rushing back into the bathroom before Holly could speak again.
—–
Feeling the hot, warm water hitting his face, dripping down his body, Alex began drifting into thought again. What if she leaves me…? Feeling like he may have severely fucked up, he racked his brain for possible ways to fix it, in case fixing it would prove to be necessary.
She mentioned she’d fuck someone else.
Ever since she said that to him, he’s never truly been able to get that out of his mind. Even if she did only say it out of irritation.
What if it would save our relationship?
He’d never admit it, but Alex had taken a strong liking to cuckold porn. It was almost unavoidable when one only watched interracial porn, and while the idea of Holly fucking a black man, or any man for that matter, was hot, it still scared him. What if she still left him? Sure, there were tons of couples who got by just fine with that lifestyle, but that was not always the case.
Exiting the shower, he heard Holly’s phone go off with her giggling. He grabbed a towel and started drying himself off quickly, wrapping the towel around his waist before walking back into the bedroom. As soon as he saw Holly, she put her phone down and looked up at him.
“Hey, baby! Jenna just messaged me and wants me to go out with her and Savannah later, but I don’t exactly have the money right now, and I don’t want them to spend any on me; I’d feel totally useless, honestly. Can you spare a little bit for me, please?”
Alex just stopped and looked at her.
“Oh, and I’m not really mad about you jerking off. I know it’s been hard on you to give porn up, so I’m not surprised you finally caved. So, as a present for making it this long, I was thinking I would give you a blowjob when you get home from work!” Holly announced, “Hopefully you’ll be able to get hard this time”
Alex began smirking, though.
Alex started unwrapping his towel, dropping it to the floor to reveal his flaccid dick, which was only about 3 inches, and with the cold air blowing into the room coupled with the fact he just got out of the shower, it was only really going to get smaller.
Holly scoffed, “What? You want me to suck your dick, now?”
“Yes. Now. I mean… Why not, right? My boss kinda blue-balled me,” Alex said, looking more confident than ever, although he had secretly hoped she would just make fun of his little shriveled dick or scold him. He knew he wasn’t very big, and small penis humiliation had always been another big kink of his. Sadly, Holly was too sweet and loving.
“But you have to be at work soon, don’t you? Will we even have time?” Alex walked over to the bed and grabbed his phone. 9:46 AM. He’d told his boss he’d be there in an hour, around 8:50.
“Shit, yeah. I guess we won’t. I took way too long in the shower.” Disappointment visibly drooped over his face as he quickly put his work shirt and pants on and headed towards the door. As he opened his bedroom door to leave, Holly’s voice caught up with him.
“Uh, the money, silly?” Her voice rose as she stood up from the bed.
“Oh fuck, right.” Alex quickly reached into his back pocket and pulled out a fifty. He held it out toward her.
“Can I at least get a kiss before I go?” Alex said, pouting.
Holly let out a laugh. “With my morning breath? You sure?”
“I’m not leaving without a kiss! I don’t care how you taste!” Alex now demanded, also blushing at what he’d just said.
“You’re so gross, I swear!” She playfully pushed his shoulder, pulled his face closer, and purred, “Come here, baby.”
She pressed her pillowy lips against his dry, flat ones and passionately kissed him for about half a minute before she pushed him off. “Better go before you get fired, dummy.”
Alex laughed, “As if they could even afford to lose me right now.”
—–
Alex hesitantly walked through the doors and inhaled the all-too-familiar smell of greasy, cheap food. The very few employees were slightly panicking and rushing around, one looking like he was about to have an anxiety attack at the cash register, and the other two sloppily throwing food together to get the orders done on time. Trying to push through the throng of customers, he eventually reached the workstation behind the counter and ran right into his boss, Andre. Andre had always had the most intimidating presence while also being one of the nicest guys one could ever meet. A tall, muscular, and dark-skinned man with a voice that was so velvety and yet so deep. He was also much older than Alex, being around his dad’s age.
“Alex, my boy!” Andre reached his hand out to give a G Lock handshake and pulled Alex in, which made him stumble and crash into the man’s broad chest. Andre, oblivious, simply gave him a pat on the back. Alex quickly tried to get his bearings back after he was let go. Even after all this time, he’d never quite been prepared for Andre’s in-your-face greetings, or his sheer strength despite being in his mid-fifties. It embarrassed Alex a bit. He was a young man in his prime at the ripe age of twenty-two, and this old black man could snap him in half if he weren’t so damn nice.
“Where do you need me, Chief?” Alex composed himself and stood straight. Trying to ignore the fact that he had to look up at Andre. He often wondered what it would be like to be that tall.
“Go ahead and get started on prepping; we’re so behind right now that we have customers that have been waiting for more than twenty minutes, at least,” Andre urgently explained.
“On it, boss-man,” Alex joked. Andre gave him a faint smile and patted him on the shoulder before rushing to the cash register to deal with yet another customer.
Ten hours later, the urge to curl up in a ball and fall asleep threatened to overwhelm Alex, who was so tired that he was starting to question what was real and what was not. He hadn’t had to work this hard or this long since he’d first begun his job. And even then, he’d been able to take breaks! A break was what he really needed. And the store looked empty enough now, finally.
He looked up at Andre at the front, who was counting money and chatting with a pretty, thick-set black woman with long, curly hair. She looked closer to Alex’s age. Her breasts were always massive, probably the biggest he’d seen outside of porn. She also had so much cleavage showing, it was almost impossible to ignore. And while he couldn’t quite see yet, she even looked like she may have had a big ass. Feeling another hard-on coming, which would undoubtedly cause him to lose even more focus, Alex decided he’d really had enough now. He needed to sit down for a bit, or he’d collapse. He sheepishly walked towards Andre, and as he got close, he stopped and stood there awkwardly, as he didn’t want to interrupt them. Though it didn’t seem like the conversation would be ending anytime soon. He decided to pull out his phone, something he wasn’t supposed to do while on the job, but fuck it. He’d been hard at work all day.
He opened his contacts and tapped on Holly’s name to text her.
“Heyyy! How are things?”
No response. Alex looked up at Andre again, who remained busy chatting with the woman. Alex decided to send another text.
“Work has been fucking hell. I feel like I’m about to die tbh. I seriously can’t wait until I can come home and collapse in your arms, baby.”
No response. Alex kept staring at his phone, wondering why Holly wasn’t answering. Maybe she was still out with Jenna and Savannah? Alex closed the text messages and opened up Instagram. As he was scrolling through, faintly tuning out the chattering of Andre and his new “girlfriend”, Alex saw a post from Savannah.
It was a photo of her in Las Vegas with her black boyfriend, Jerome. Savannah had always had a thing for black guys for as long as he’s known her, which was something Alex could never stop thinking about, especially when that seemed to have rubbed off on Jenna as well. Something he and Holly had joked about on multiple occasions, even though he low-key thought it was so hot. Alex felt a sinking pit forming in his chest. “Holly said she was hanging out with Jenna AND you?” He thought to himself. Couple that with the fact she wasn’t answering; could she be doing something that she doesn’t want him to know about?
“What do you think you’re doing on that phone, boy?!” Alex jumped up in the air and dropped his phone, causing Andre and the black woman to burst out laughing.
“Don’t give that whiteboy too hard of a time now, Andre!” she yelled.
“Oh, you know I’m givin’ all these motherfuckers in this fuckin’ place a hard time, baby.”
“You better be givin’ me a hard time tonight with that big ol’ dick of yours, baby!” she said, biting her lip before grabbing her food and leaving. Alex felt butterflies in his stomach as he finally got a glimpse of her fat ass as she walked away.
It was a thought he tried to avoid because he was always around his boss, but he was also black and fairly attractive for his age. He was tall and muscular like the black porn men, too. So did he have a big cock like them as well? And the thought of him fucking that black woman and her fat ass jiggling on his BBC made Alex shudder and feel slightly weak in his knees.
“Girl, watch yo mouth! We still got customers in here!” Andre turned back to Alex. “Damn, son. I didn’t think I’d get you so good.” Still trying to contain his laughter, Andre bent over and picked Alex’s phone up for him.
“Damn! Sorry, man. Screen is cracked like a motherfucker.” Alex grabbed his phone and sighed as he spotted the giant crack, split off into different directions.
“I’ll get you back, my man. I promise.” Alex believed it. Andre was a man of his word but felt it was simply just an accident and wasn’t at all necessary.
“Honestly, don’t worry about it. It was about time I got a new phone anyway; this one is a piece of shit.” Andre laughed and nodded.
“Um, do you mind if I take a break now?” Andre looked at Alex for a second, then looked around the store, noting the general emptiness among the very few customers still left.
“It seems we’re kinda dead now, which is surprising as fuck. Why don’t you just go on home? We had a few people apply today, so I think you can take tomorrow off if you want.”
Alex nodded, thanked him, and got the hell out of there as fast as he could. What was Holly up to?
——
Alex pulled into his driveway, staring at his house. The lights were on, and it looked like the T.V. was on as well. Alex looked at his phone again; still no response. She didn’t always ignore him like this, but at the same time, she’d said she was hanging out with Jenna and Savannah. Why would she say that if Savannah was in Las Vegas? Surely she would have known if one of her best friends went on a trip like that.
But maybe he was just overthinking it? After all, he’s exhausted from work. His head wasn’t entirely clear right now, and he could probably pass out at any moment if his body weren’t rushed with adrenaline over the thought of Holly lying to him and cheating. It was making him so uncontrollably horny yet terrified. He shuddered.
He did like the idea of her “cheating”, but doing it behind his back? Would that mean she even truly loved him? She even threatened to cheat on him if he didn’t quit his porn addiction; she could be perfectly capable of doing that. Still, there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation. He just had to get up and find out.
He took a deep breath and exhaled. Leaving his car, he slowly walked toward his door and grabbed the keys from his pockets. As he was getting ready to unlock the door, it swung open, and Holly rushed right into his arms.
“Ahhh, I missed you! How was work?!” She excitedly asked as she squeezed him tighter, hurting him. She was weirdly strong for a pudgy girl who doesn’t do a whole lot.
Or maybe he was just fragile?
“Well, y-you’d know if you w-would’ve read your texts,” Alex responded, stuttering on nearly every word.
“I left my phone here by mistake, I’m so sorry!”
Alex raised an eyebrow and looked slightly embarrassed. “L-look, I need to talk to you.”
Alex let go of her and walked inside, leaving her with a confused look on her face. As he stepped in, he was caught off guard when he found Jenna on their couch.
“Oh, there’s the boyfriend!” Jenna yelled out. “How’ve you been doin’, sweetie? You’re definitely looking cuter than ever!”
Alex could never tell whether she was being sarcastic when she made comments like that. Who was he kidding? She was definitely being sarcastic.
“U-um, well, y’kn-” He could barely get his words out. He’d always found it really hard to speak to Holly’s friends. Jenna and Savannah were both extremely attractive and sociable girls. At the same time, he was an average-looking introvert who’d rather not talk to people other than Holly and his small circle of friends, and it often felt almost otherworldly to speak to them. Which sometimes made him wonder how he’d ever connected with Holly the way that he had. Thankfully, Holly stepped in to save him from his own awkwardness.
“Honestly, could you NOT always be such a flirt, Jenna? You’re making the poor boy speechless! He can’t handle that amount of attention, you know?”
Jenna laughed as Alex’s face grew bright red. “Awww, he’s blushing!” She pointed directly at him with a big smile on her face.
“Jenna, I’m gonna need you just to go… Please?” Alex sounded slightly annoyed at first but changed his tone halfway through the sentence.
Why had he said “please?”
It was his house; he shouldn’t have had to. And Jenna was always kind of a bitch to him, yet subtle enough that he and Holly never spoke up nor considered it an issue. But due to his exhaustion and his mind racing, he just wasn’t in the mood to deal with Jenna right now.
He needed to talk to Holly.
“Alright, alright. I’m just messing with you, dick. Text me later, babe!” Jenna said as she got up from the couch and opened the front door.
“Of course! Wait, did Savannah ever text you back?” Alex’s ears perked as he heard Holly mention Savannah.
“No, and frankly, I don’t think I fucking care! That whore went to motherfucking LAS VEGAS and did not tell either of us!? Fuck that bitch. Dante and I have been talking about going for ages!” Jenna said lightheartedly, although Alex could still make out a trace of venom beneath her cheery tone.
Holly laughed. “I’d love to go, but I don’t think Alex would be down for that. He’s too much of a homebody.”
“Ugh, you’re such a loser, Alex!” Jenna said in a rather jokey way, but Alex believed she used that joking tone with every insulting comment because it made it appear as though she wasn’t serious.
“He most certainly is not! Bye now, Jenna,” Holly said sternly, still keeping a cheery tone, and closed the door. She turned back to Alex. “So, what was that exactly, and what do you need to talk to me about?”
Alex’s face grew warm. “I just… I had a long day at work. I thought you were like… Cheating on me or something.” He rubbed his tired face with both hands.
Holly started laughing. “What? Why did you think that?” Her face went from happy to concerned.
Alex started twiddling his thumbs and lowered his eyes, unable to maintain eye contact. “I went onto Instagram and saw Savannah post a Vegas photo and figured out she wasn’t with you, so when I couldn’t get hold of you at work, it kinda started getting the thoughts rolling. I’m sorry.”
Holly walked over and gave him another tight hug.
“You don’t need to apologize; you’ve had a long day and honestly look really tired. Were you up all night playing video games before you went into work?”
“Possibly…” he answered sheepishly.
Holly chuckled.
“You’ve really gotta stop doing that, honey. And I really had no idea that slut was just going to be away on vacation. But listen to me, Alex. I would never, ever, ever cheat on you! Are you friggin’ stupid or somethin’?”
She pushed him and gave him a light slap on the chest.
“You know I am.” Letting out a weak laugh, he felt such relief. He never understood why he doubted her because Holly truly loved him the same way he loved her. He felt his hornyness and worries wash away as he was filled with love and reassurance.
“Come on,” Holly said gently.
She grabbed his hand and started leading him to the bedroom. “You seriously look like you could fall over; you need to go to bed.”
Alex nodded, letting her guide him, feeling like he was on his way to heaven. Or maybe he was just too sleep-deprived at this point.
But when they entered their bedroom, Alex stopped.
Wait a minute.
“Baby?” Alex looked at Holly with puppy eyes.
“Yes?”
“Can I get that blowjob now?” Alex asked pitifully.
Holly started to laugh but quickly stopped.
“Oh, uhh, sure! I guess you did have a long day, huh?” She led him over to the bed and sat him down as she lowered herself to unbutton his pants. “Gosh, it’s been a while since I’ve sucked your dick, hasn’t it?” She bit her lip.
“Yeah, and what’s the deal with that?” Alex asked in a snarky way.
Holly looked back up at him. “You know I’ve been busy and stressed out, dick. And you had an addiction to get over first.”
Alex laughed with her as he felt her reach down into his pants to grab his flaccid dick. Fortunately, for the first time in ages, he could feel Holly’s soft hands stroking his dick. Finally! However, the feeling of accomplishment would soon drift away.
Holly pulled it out completely and looked at it with slight disappointment. Like she just remembered that Alex had a small dick. The look on her face excited him, though, still being turned on by humiliation despite not touching porn in ages. He felt his pathetic and neglected dick start to grow.
“Oooh, someone’s finally able to get hard? It’s a fucking miracle.” Holly’s voice sounded almost sarcastic. Did she really not like having sex with him? Were his worries (and fantasies) true?
Holly started stroking his little dick with just two fingers since he wasn’t fully erect yet, inching her face closer. Alex gasped, thinking she was about to suck him off already, but Holly just lightly blew air on the tip of his dick.
“Oh, fuck!” Alex exclaimed.
Holly giggled at his reaction and gently put her tongue on the tip, moving it in a circle.
Then suddenly, Holly took the whole thing in her mouth, which wasn’t very hard, of course.
Alex’s legs began writhing around. The warmth and wetness of her mouth were something he hadn’t experienced in a while. Holly was aggressively going out, almost like she was trying to get this over with as soon as possible. Spit began to pool around his pelvic area; he could even hear it dripping onto the floor.
After three minutes of non-stop sucking, Holly raised her head and, trying to catch her breath, said, “Ugh, are you fucking serious?”
Alex’s heart lurched. His eyes widened.
“W-what?” He sounded almost afraid to ask.
“I’m sorry, hun. I’m just also kinda tired right now. I was hoping I could get this done quickly; I’ve got an interview tomorrow,” Holly explained, but Alex was too horny and tired to even ask her about it or even think of just letting her sleep.
“Why don’t you just lay down and rest while I, uh, f-fuck you real quick?” He sounded so pathetic as he said that, but it’d been so long. He had to have her. He loved her and wanted to feel her warmth again.
Holly stopped and looked as though she was thinking for a second. “Okay, yeah. Just let me get ready for bed first.” Alex nodded as she stood up and went to put on pajama pants and one of his old shirts. She was one of those girls who enjoyed wearing her boyfriend’s clothes because they were baggy and comfortable.
Alex moved up to the other side of the bed while Holly climbed in. She lay down on her side facing away from Alex and pulled down her pajamas, exposing her plump white ass, which Alex had only had a chance to see when she was in the bathroom as of late.
The last time he even touched it was when they had last had sex, which was already a little over a month ago.
Alex inched closer over to her, wrapped his arm around her, feeling her soft, bouncy tits through his shirt, and started to kiss her neck and plump cheeks. He began moving his fully erect dick up and down her ass crack before finally, slowly putting it in, and then…
Nothing.
Holly gave little-to-no reaction, and Alex was completely inside of her now. Holly used to be a little more enthusiastic and vocal, but here she was just a dead fish. Maybe it was because she was tired as well. He really should’ve been more considerate and let her sleep, but no turning back now. He put his hand on her thigh and started thrusting. She reacted this time, but only to look at him, confused, which he took full notice of.
She can’t feel me at all, can she?
His dick throbbed from the thought; he looked back down at her ass, and his hips involuntarily pounded her like a jackrabbit to ignore the look on her face. He began thrusting faster and faster, even panting a little bit while the most humiliating thoughts ran through his head.
I bet she’d fuck Andre. He used to sweet-talk her when she came by the work, and I wasn’t at the front counter. He’s a much better flirt than I am. How did I end up with her? I don’t deserve her; she doesn’t even want to fuck me anymore. She deserves a hung, black alpha male!
Alex was sent over the edge; he thrusted as hard as he possibly could, sweating profusely, like a pathetic pig.
“You doing okay back there, champ?” Holly joked yet concerningly asked, which only made him thrust harder and realize how desperate he must’ve looked.
Alex looked back up at Holly and slowed down, deciding just to ask her, “C-can you… Feel it?” He sounded so out of breath.
Holly snickered.
She actually snickered
“Uh, of course, baby!” She bit her lip in worry and looked at him. She didn’t come across as very convincing, which finally sent Alex over the edge.
Moaning like a girl, Alex quickly pulled out and sprayed cum all over her big white ass, ropes of sperm jetting from his penis. He was more potent than he had any right to be.
Holly turned her head over, acting annoyed.
“You couldn’t just, I dunno, NOT cum on me? I gotta clean that up, y’know!”
There were traces of amusement in her tone, but she was still obviously not too happy. Alex ignored her, relishing the fact that he’d finally had sex again.
“Um, earth to dummy?”
Alex did have to snap back into reality, though.
“Oh, uh. I’ll go get a towel or something.” Alex started getting off the bed, then paused. An idea came to him.
What if I…ate it?
Should he really start pushing now?
But then again, he’d just gotten the confirmation that his sex life was going completely downhill regardless of whether he was addicted to porn or not, so maybe it truly was time to start planting the seeds.
Alex turned back to her.
“Sooo, I have an idea. And you may find it gross,” Alex whispered.
Holly, still lying on her side, turned her head to him. “Oh?”
Alex hesitated for a moment.
“What if…what if I ate my cum off your ass?”
Holly burst out in laughter.
Alex’s face turned bright red.
“Pardon? Are you serious?” she asked, still laughing at the bizarre question.
“Y-yes.” Alex’s eyes dropped.
“Uhh. Wow. Okay, go on. Get over here and lick it off of me, I suppose! Gross ass.” Holly laughed again and shook her head, covering her mouth with her hand.
“Do you really think I’m gross?” Alex asked, looking a little embarrassed at this point. Even though this was something he wanted, he still wasn’t prepared for Holly to pick on him.
“Of course not. You know I’m just kidding, baby. I love you to death, but you’re just a little weird sometimes. Like, what kind of guy eats his own cum?”
“Guess I’m a special type of guy,” he said, bringing his face closer to her ass. He started licking up ropes of his cum, which was now cold and already drying.
“Yep, that you are! Seriously, what the hell, Alex?” Holly joked, but Alex didn’t care, still lapped up every bit of his cum off her sweet ass.
He continued to drag his tongue across her ass, taking in the taste of her skin mixed with the salty semen. Alex was in Heaven.
“Is it…all gone?” Holly still seemed baffled over what he just did.
Alex nodded and said, “Yeah, that was…kinda hot.”
“That was kinda gross,” Holly retorted, pulling her pajama pants back over her round ass, making it jiggle.
Alex collapsed next to Holly, staying silent. How could he reply to that?
Holly broke the quiet first, seemingly trying to act like that didn’t just happen.
“Okay, sooo…goodnight, baby!”
“Night,” Alex whimpered. “I uhm, love you, Holly.”
Holly turned over, eyed him momentarily, and edged closer. Putting her arm around him, she rested her head on his chest.
“I love you too, Alex.”
There came a pause, a moment of silence before Holly looked up at him again.
“It was actually kinda hot…”
—
The Morning After
The alarm blared at 6:15 AM, dragging Alex out of a dreamless sleep. Holly’s side of the bed was already empty, the sheets cold to the touch. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, last night playing on a loop behind his eyes—the taste of himself still haunting his tongue, the way her ass felt under his mouth, her sleepy laugh when she called him weird.
Not exactly a proud moment. But she’d said it was hot. Kinda hot. That qualifier shouldn’t sting as much as it did.
He found her in the kitchen, already dressed for her interview. She wore a fitted navy blazer over a white blouse, her dark hair straightened and tucked behind one ear. She looked sharp. Professional. Like someone who had her life together.
“Morning,” she said without looking up from her phone. “Coffee’s in the pot.”
“Thanks.” He poured himself a cup and leaned against the counter, watching her scroll through what looked like LinkedIn. “Nervous?”
“About the interview? No.” She glanced up, and something flickered across her face—softness, maybe. “About us? A little.”
Alex’s stomach dropped. “What do you mean?”
Holly set her phone down and turned to face him fully. She crossed her arms, not defensively, but like she was bracing herself. “Last night was… I don’t know. We’ve been in a weird place lately, and I thought things were getting better, but then you—”
“I know.” He stared into his coffee. “I know it was strange.”
“Strange isn’t the word I’d use.” She uncrossed her arms and stepped closer, reaching out to fix the collar of his wrinkled t-shirt. “I just need to know where this is coming from. The jealousy. The… new stuff. Because if you’re doing things you don’t actually want to do just to keep me happy, that’s not sustainable.”
Alex swallowed. The truth was more embarrassing than the act itself. He’d liked it. Not just the physical sensation, but the degradation of it—the way she’d laughed at him, the way she’d called him weird and let him do it anyway. Something about her casual dismissal of his desires while simultaneously permitting them made his chest tight in a way he couldn’t explain.
“I wanted to,” he said quietly. “I wanted to make you feel good.”
Holly studied him for a long moment, her brown eyes searching his face. Then she exhaled through her nose and shook her head, almost smiling.
“You’re something else, you know that?” She kissed his forehead, her lips lingering. “I love you. Even when you’re being a weirdo.”
“I love you too.”
She grabbed her bag and headed for the door, then paused with her hand on the knob. “Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“I wasn’t cheating on you. I need you actually to believe that, not just say you do.” Her voice was firm now, stripped of the teasing tone she usually used as a shield. “Savannah is a mess. She goes to Vegas, posts cryptic shit, and drags drama wherever she goes. I’m not her. I chose you.”
The words hit him harder than he expected. He nodded, his throat tight. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Good.” She opened the door. “Now go clean the kitchen. It smells like old takeout in here.”
—
The apartment felt too quiet after she left. Alex cleaned the kitchen, took a shower, and tried to work on his laptop, but his mind kept drifting back to the night before. The way Holly had lain there, barely participating, letting him use her body like a warm sleeve. The way he’d pulled out and finished on her ass without even asking. The way he’d asked—begged, really—to lick it off, and she’d said yes with that amused smirk, like she was indulging a child’s tantrum.
His cock twitched at the memory.
He closed his laptop and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. This wasn’t sustainable. She was right about that. The jealousy, the insecurity, the desperate attempts to spice things up—it was all a bandage over something deeper. He’d been pulling away from her for months, burying himself in work and routines, and now he was overcompensating with… whatever last night was.
His phone buzzed—a text from Holly.
> “Interview went well. Having lunch with Jenna. Don’t forget to eat something actual, not just cereal. Love you.”
He smiled despite himself. She always did that—checked on him, made sure he was functioning, even when she was annoyed. He typed back a reply and then sat there, staring at the screen.
The real problem wasn’t Savannah, or Vegas, or even the dry spell in their sex life. The problem was that Alex didn’t know how to ask for what he wanted without feeling like a freak. And Holly didn’t know how to tell him what she wanted without feeling like she was criticizing him. They’d been dancing around each other for so long that the dance had become the relationship.
—
Holly got home around four. She dropped her bag by the door, kicked off her heels, and collapsed onto the couch with a groan.
“Good day?” Alex asked from the armchair.
“Exhausting. I think I talked more today than I have in the past month combined.” She stretched, her blazer riding up to reveal a sliver of her stomach. “Jenna says hi, by the way. She also says you need to ‘get out more,’ which I told her to shove up her ass.”
“Appreciate that.”
They sat in comfortable silence for a while. The TV was on but muted, some home renovation show playing out in silence. Holly eventually got up and changed into one of Alex’s hoodies and a pair of shorts, then returned to the couch, curling up against his side.
“I got the job,” she said.
“What? Seriously? That’s amazing!” He hugged her, genuinely thrilled. “When do you start?”
“Two weeks.” She smiled against his chest. “It’s a better position. More money. More responsibility.” She paused. “More travel.”
The word hung in the air. Alex felt his chest tighten, but he forced himself to breathe through it.
“Travel where?”
“Mostly the West Coast. A few trips a year, maybe a week at a time.” She pulled back to look at him. “I’m telling you this because I want you to know. Not because I have to, but because I don’t want you to wonder. Okay?”
He nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“Alex.” She took his face in her hands, her thumbs brushing his cheekbones. “I’m not going to cheat on you. I’m not going to leave you. I’m going to come home to you every single time. You hear me?”
“I hear you.”
“Say it back to me.”
“I hear you, Holly. I believe you.”
She kissed him—soft at first, then deeper, her tongue sliding against his. He pulled her into his lap, her legs straddling his thighs, and she settled there with a sigh.
“I’m too tired for anything crazy tonight,” she murmured against his mouth. “But I want to be close to you. Is that okay?”
“Yeah.” He wrapped his arms around her, one hand resting on the small of her back. “That’s more than okay.”
She rested her head on his shoulder, her breath warm against his neck. The TV flickered in the background, the muted renovation show casting shifting light across the room.
“Hey, Alex?”
“Hmm?”
“Last night. When you… you know.” She shifted, her cheeks flushing pink. “I wasn’t just saying it to be nice. It was hot. You wanting me that badly. It made me feel…” She trailed off, searching for the word.
“Made you feel what?”
“Wanted. Like, actually wanted. Not just convenient.”
The admission cracked something open in his chest. He tightened his arms around her and pressed his lips to her hair.
“You’re not convenient,” he said. “You’re everything.”
She laughed softly. “Don’t get sappy on me.”
“Too late.”
They stayed like that, tangled together on the couch, until Holly’s breathing evened out and she fell asleep in his arms. Alex didn’t move. He just held her, watching the light shift across the room, feeling her heartbeat against his chest.
Things weren’t fixed. They weren’t suddenly perfect, or easy, or free of the tension that had been building between them for months. But lying there, with Holly’s weight warm and real against him, Alex felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Hope.
Not the desperate, grasping kind that comes from fear of loss. The quiet kind. The kind that says maybe we can figure this out. Maybe we’re worth the work.
He reached for his phone carefully, not wanting to wake her, and opened his notes app. He started typing—a list of things he wanted to say to her, things he’d been too scared or too proud to voice. Things about his insecurities, his desires, his fear that she’d wake up one day and realize she’d settled.
He didn’t finish the list. But he started it. And for now, that was enough.
—
Later that night, after he’d carried Holly to bed and tucked her in, after he’d brushed his teeth and stood in the dark bathroom staring at his own reflection, he climbed in beside her. She stirred, reaching for him in her sleep, and he let her pull him close.
“Love you,” she mumbled, barely awake.
“Love you too,” he whispered back.
And for the first time in months, the words didn’t feel like a question.
The End.
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