Cry Baby
By RandyKneeling.
Elliott Anderson slunk down the steps with a combination of excitement and dread; a balance that had been sliding toward something less healthy in recent weeks. He thought back to the times when he would anticipate her return with no conflict of emotions, eager only to please her and sooth her tender pussy, reclaiming her as his girlfriend. By now, it was obvious he had been supplanted; she was no longer his girl. She belonged to her bull now; they had both made that clear enough. His current role had become more that of a servant than a partner, and the mistress seemed increasingly disappointed with the help.
“Have you been a good boy while I was gone, cucky?”
He knew what she was asking, but he tried to evade the question.
“Yes, dear. I did all your laundry, and cleaned the kitchen, and I have a wonderful breakfast planned if you’d like.”
Elliott was an accomplished, albeit completely amateur, chef. It was something in which he took great pride. Which made her response seem thoughtlessly dismissive.
“I don’t care about food, and the laundry’s a given. You know what I’m talking about. Did you keep from having an orgasm while I was gone? And I warn you — I’m in no mood for any of your cute word games. I mean any kind of orgasm, no matter how ruined.”
“I-I dribbled… a little bit.”
“A little bit, huh? And how many times did you slip over the edge? Tell me the truth!”
“A-a few times, dear. I can’t really remember.”
“You worthless little pervert. You need to be punished for that. Slap your balls! Do it now! Go on, strip! Spread your legs wide open, facing me, and tap your balls harder and harder until I tell you to stop.”
“Y-yes, dear”
As Elliott removed his shoes and socks, he tried to fight back the fear of the pain he was about to endure for his young girlfriend. That he would administer to himself, the fact that he would inflict pain on himself was humiliating, and the small pleasure that it would give him was not worth the pain. Like most of us, Elliott hated pain. He wasn’t one of those masochists who would revel in Lucy’s sexual cruelty. He just wanted desperately to please her.
He removed his pants, essential to allow for the specific genital display Lucy required of him. By the time he was pulling down his underpants, the tears began to well up in his eyes. As he sat on the floor in front of Lucy, he grasped his poor, tight, swollen ball sack, so conveniently displayed by the ring of the chastity cage. Looking up at his girlfriend, he began tapping, inducing a mixture of pleasure and discomfort that he knew wouldn’t last.
“Stop playing with yourself! Give them what they deserve!”
Elliott increased the force of his taps, crossing over from discomfort to mild pain, the fleeting pleasure he had enjoyed now overshadowed. As he continued to increase the force steadily, the first of his pathetic whimpers escaped his lips.
“Thaaat’s better, those balls need to behave themselves while I’m away, and it’s up to you to make sure they do. If you truly feel sorry for what you did, you’ll spank them even harder. C’mon, you beta-boy sissy, show me how sorry you are!”
Elliott’s hand hovered over his reddening ball sack, gearing himself up enough to deliver a harder slap — one that would truly hurt. Somewhere deep in his brain, he told himself he deserved it. In reality, he only did it because Lucy wanted him to, but that was enough. His fingers smacked against his balls hard enough to make an audible sound, which was immediately drowned out by his wail of pain and the sobbing that followed.
“Good boy! That’s what those nasty little balls deserved. Now stop your sniveling, get up on your knees and lick my pussy! Not that you deserve it, but I do.”
Lucy scooted her pelvis to the edge of the chair, hiked up her dress and bent one leg, bringing her heel up against her butt; allowing her licker full access while slightly parting her swollen, glistening lips. Elliott did as he was told, grateful to be allowed to lick her pussy, and even more grateful for an end to his self-flagellation.
“Yeah, get all his cum. He put the first load up there hours ago, then fucked it in deeper and topped it off with the fresh load you’re tasting now. You’ve got some digging to do to get it all out of there. I’ll bet that first load is nice and funky by now! Get deep in there and get it, bitch!”
Elliott ate her bull’s cum greedily, and his mind inexorably went where it always went while he ate the superior man’s spendings. When could he get a chance to suck that big, beautiful cock and coax out all the man cream from those masculine balls so that he could taste it straight, without pussy additives?
Not that he disliked pussy, but it was the same way he approached a scrumptious dinner; he thoroughly enjoyed each dish separately. He might switch back and forth occasionally, but he rarely tasted two things combined. He found it confusing, much like 69ing. To eat pussy was an immersive experience deserving of his full attention. Having his cock sucked at the same time was so distracting as to be incompatible. He regarded the privilege of eating pussy as deserving of nothing less than his complete devotion.
Visions of the bull’s heavy, throbbing cock filled Elliott’s mind as he ate the slimy mess it had deposited in Lucy. Firmly in the grip of his fantasy, he paused his lapping long enough to ask,
“Did… did you ask him?”
Not willing to disrupt her pleasure any further, he immediately resumed his ministrations, but maintained eye contact from his lowly position.
“Yes, I asked him if you could suck his cock; but only because I couldn’t convince him to make you ask him yourself. I wanted to see you suffer that humiliation, but he said he’s tired of looking at your pathetic face. He said it’s appropriate for you to consume all his cum, but that you don’t deserve to suck his cock. I couldn’t argue with that. There’s not much you deserve.”
Elliott looked down, crestfallen. If he hadn’t been engaged in his favorite activity, he might have plunged into deep despair. He would never get to suck that big, beautiful cock and taste the pure essence it produced. Instead, what he was now tasting might be the closest he ever gets. If so, he would savor it, like he would a rich sauce smothering a delicate cut of fish. His senses inundated with the funk of her cunt, he didn’t register her words the first time.
“Answer me, cucky, he’s right, isn’t he?”
“I-I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t hear. I’m sure he’s right, but about what?”
“About the fact that if you ever got it in your mouth, you’d fag out and fall in love with his cock.”
Having never had the opportunity to suck a cock, he had no idea how he would react, but he knew enough not to disagree.
“I guess he’s probably right, dear, I honestly don’t know.”
He resumed his licking, now mining the deeper deposit from her loose pussy, shuddering briefly as the stronger taste assaulted his taste buds. It presented a challenge, but it wouldn’t dissuade him from finishing the assignment. When he determined that she was clean of all traces of cum, Elliott moved up to her clit, hoping to give her one of those long, dreamy orgasms that she used to enjoy from him after a thorough fucking.
Just as he seemed to be getting her interested in taking that ride, Lucy abruptly pushed him away and headed upstairs to the bedroom. Elliott trailed behind like a puppy dog, hoping he could be of further service. When she reached the bedroom, she shucked off her clothes and fell onto the bed on her stomach. Scrunching his pillow under her hips, she commanded,
“Eat my ass.”
No further words were spoken. Eliott fell to his new task dutifully, if somewhat less enthusiastically. He didn’t particularly enjoy the taste of her asshole, save for the rare occasion when he got to eat it fresh out of the shower. Anything else presented a range of pungent flavors that all shared an objectionable undertone.
He did enjoy the intimacy, though. Her asshole was sensitive, tender and warm. Kissing it just right almost always elicited sounds of appreciation and relaxation. And tongue fucking her could sometimes get her worked up enough to actually ask for a real fucking — or at least as real as it could get with Elliott wearing the strap-on. But tonight didn’t seem to be one of those make-out sessions.
“You like that asshole, beta bitch? You know, when I first started feeding it to you, I was diligent about washing and wiping down there, but I fear I’ve become a bit lazy over time. But you don’t mind, do you?”
Elliott’s face reddened, and the degradation seemed to burn into him. He knew she wanted an answer, just to relish his shame.
“Whatever you want, dear. I want only to please you.”
He went back to his task, gently rimming her rubbery pucker and pushing saliva into her hole. The mixture of her emotional abuse and callous indifference made for an exquisite cocktail that induced his self-loathing.
“You really are a pathetic beta bitch. I don’t even recognize the guy I started dating.”
Lucy reflected on the disparity between her former boyfriend, and the version of Elliott currently lapping away between her sweaty butt cheeks. Initially, she felt guilt over cucking him, but she got over that. Later, she felt guilty over being cruel to him. But his humiliation excited her, and he seemed to invite the cruelty. She had long since stopped loving him as a man, but for a while, she still loved watching him sink ever lower, becoming something else. Something she had used, defeated, and finally broken. It was an epic journey, rich with pathos and internal struggles. Captivating to witness, but ultimately culminating in this rather disappointing denouement.
Lucy slid her hand under her stomach and found her tender pussy. Laying a finger on either side of her clit, she pressed them in until they rested alongside the base of her clit. She began to stroke the root of her clit languorously.
“Is that really the best you can do, beta-boy? Why don’t you eat my ripe dirt shoot like it’s packed with chocolate cake? Get in there and show me how hungry you are.”
Elliott was disgusted with himself, but there was no way he would stop now. He had committed to Lucy, and with his shameful failings to please her in conventional ways, he was dedicated to please her however she commanded. He ate her out with what he hoped would pass as the same enthusiasm he used on her pussy.
“Oh, yeah, that’s better, bitch! Yes! Get in there, you filthy motherfucker!”
This talk was off the charts for her; she wasn’t just aroused, she was venting. With each new level of cruelty, Lucy’s orgasm drew closer. It was extreme — even for her, but it seemed like it sent the right message.
“You have to be about the most pathetic bitch there is, you know that? You disgust me. I’ll bet you’d eat my shit if I told you to.”
Elliott was so shocked, he pulled his face out of her ass and stared at her, unable to find words. Lucy looked at him over her shoulder and misread his mute reaction.
“Oh my God! Look at you! You’re thinking about it, aren’t you? Ugh, that’s fucking sick! Get your mouth back where it belongs, you filthy pervert!”
Convicted without a trial, Elliott resumed his penitence as Lucy rubbed herself with a firm pressure, thinking only of the sensations she was creating at the base of her clit, and the ones caused by the worm making love to her asshole. The sound of his sobbing is what finally did it for her. She came so fast it overwhelmed her; her involuntary cries were unlike anything she’d produced before.
She let him keep eating as she slowly came back to earth, until his previously stimulating sobs became contemptible to her. Once again, she pushed him away, telling him,
“You don’t deserve any more of my luscious asshole. Get into the bathtub and wait for me.”
“You… you want me to take a bath?” he wondered, cluelessly.
“Did I say to run a bath? No! Just go lie there naked in the tub and wait for me.”
“You know I’ll do anything for you. Please don’t make me do that,” he whimpered.
“Shut up and do as you’re told!”
Elliott slunk off to the master bath and lay down on his back in the empty tub, feeling the chill as the porcelain began drawing out his body heat. He was certain of what was coming, even though it had never happened before. Several minutes passed, and he was shivering as Lucy appeared, standing over him naked, hands on her hips.
“You look cold, bitch. Here, lemme warm you up.”
She climbed up onto the tub’s sides, straddling his quivering body. With a wicked grin, she lowered her pelvis down, relaxed and let go her stream, splashing first on his crotch, bathing his diminutive, shriveled penis with her warm golden fluid.
“There you go, some nice hot piss to warm you up. Lie there and take it bitch, it’s exactly what you deserve, you spineless little creep.”
Lucy’s hands were on either side of her pussy, spreading it wide to keep her lips from deflecting the stream and directing it up his belly and chest. Golden droplets splashed off his collar bones and onto his face, forcing him to close his eyes to avoid the stinging liquid.
“Open your mouth, bitch! Taste my fuckin’ piss, you miserable slug.”
In spite of himself, Elliott’s lips reluctantly parted, and the stream splashed against his chin, then found his mouth. The taste was awful, but the degradation was even worse. He cried again, no longer attempting to hide his shame and humiliation.
“Don’t just taste it, bitch, drink it! Swallow that piss and thank me, you worthless loser!”
Elliott forced himself to swallow, then immediately wretched and choked. He raised himself to expel the vile liquid out of both his mouth and nose, where it burned. All the while as he fought to recover, the unrelenting stream of urine soaked his hair and ran down the back of his neck.
Lucy laughed at his plight and again commanded that he open his mouth for her. Once more, she found her target, and the solid stream played against his closed lips.
“Open! Open that mouth, you fucking bitch!”
Resigned to his fate, his mouth fell open and his pitiful visage displayed his humiliation as he allowed her to fill his mouth with her bubbling piss.
“Now drink it! C’mon, piss pig, swallow my liquid waste.”
Knowing no other course, he obediently muscled down another swallow before collapsing inward, sobbing silently as his former girlfriend released the remains of her bladder into his face.
“I’m done with you, you pathetic beta bitch. You’re useless to women anymore. Maybe you can still be useful to men who want a faggot. Pack your shit in the morning and get out. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
Stepping off the tub, she grabbed some paper, blotted her pussy, tossed the paper in the bowl and walked out. Elliott lay stunned. One again he felt chilled as the cooling piss ran along his spine, between his butt cheeks and down into the steadily gurgling drain. It was his last vivid recollection of Lucy’s place.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Looking back on it, he knew he had spent that final night on her couch because that’s where he awoke, shell-shocked. He knew he had gathered his belongings when he left, because they now lay before him, contained in two large trash bags on the floor of his bedroom. He surmised he hadn’t run into her while packing, only because he was sure he’d have remembered that.
Back at his place days later, he was capable of little beyond the details of staying alive. When he could finally construct a cohesive train of thought, he took stock of his feelings for Lucy. He knew he no longer loved her. Adoration no longer applied either. Yet even though it would never happen, if she let him back tomorrow, he knew he’d be at her feet in a heartbeat, willing to serve again. What the fuck was wrong with him?
He knew it wasn’t healthy. He wanted to be healthy, or at least healthier. Human, at a minimum. After taking two consecutive sick days off work, his boss demanded a doctor’s note for any further absences. He countered by using his vacation days, of which he had many banked. Lucy had always vacationed alone, and Elliott never wanted to go on vacation without her. He had built too much of his life around her, and now, without her, he was lost.
He had no interest in television and couldn’t concentrate long enough to watch a movie. Books seemed more of an effort than they were worth. He had no real appetite, but the pizza boxes in the trash made it obvious that something had to change. He had always enjoyed cooking; at least that would help him eat healthy, maybe that could be the first step in his rehabilitation. He resolved to start with a grand meal, if only for one. He’d begin by cooking something comforting and rewarding, something that wouldn’t require too much effort. Just quality ingredients, prepared with care and cooked to perfection.
List in hand, he went to the grocery store and began selecting what he needed. Fettuccini noodles and a good chardonnay got things started. As he stood at the meat counter, he searched for the right boneless chicken breast. Spying the weight he wanted, Elliott reached for the package just as it was snatched up by another hand. Following it up to the owner, he found himself looking at an attractive woman in her late forties.
Her face was pretty, with striking brown eyes and generous lips. Standing so close, he was unable to take in her frame, beyond the vague sense that it too was generous. After exchanging quick smiles, he apologized and gestured for her to take the contested package, opting for his second choice. She thanked him politely and moved on.
As she walked away, he took in the rest of her body. His initial assessment was correct; she was a quintessential big, beautiful woman, with wide hips and thick, yet shapely calves that disappeared under a modest dress. Her heels were low, which meant most of that protruding ass was unaided by an artificially induced posture. Her waist was a bit thick as well, but she still had an hourglass figure, albeit amplified in all directions. He imagined what she must have looked like when she was his age, before the years had started to take their inevitable toll. She probably had guys standing in line to get a taste. As it was, Elliott would not have turned down the opportunity even now.
He continued on his mission, now distracted by a secondary objective. He took note of her direction, hoping to get a look at her from the front as soon as he could create the right opportunity. When it came, he was half an aisle down from her, with an unobstructed sightline.
Reaching for a box on a high shelf, her dress pulled tight, revealing an ample bosom. The outline of a large bra was discernable, but it couldn’t completely restrain the heavy motion of her breasts, betraying their weight. Her hair was surprisingly long, unlike the professional look that women of her age typically favored. All-in-all, she was a remarkable woman, with a look that was at once kindly and powerfully feminine.
He knew he was staring, but thought he was far enough away to pull it off. When she caught him, he looked down immediately, then realized what his reaction had telegraphed. He was never good at this, and now he was out of practice to boot. He turned his cart and took off, mortified that he had been caught, feeling the burning in his face and knowing it was bright red.
He continued with his shopping, picking up the few essentials that he could recall being low on at home. The recipe called for Cremini mushrooms, but he found them out of stock. Somewhat dejected, he settled for the less flavorful white buttons and soldiered on. Parmesan cheese and whipping cream were all he needed for the Alfredo sauce; the rest he had in his pantry.
It seemed such a small thing, but when he couldn’t find the shallots, he simply lost it. Sure, he could substitute garlic, but the delicate balance would be disrupted. He had already been forced to compromise on the mushrooms; now this. It was as if the world were determined to deny him any pure pleasure. He wasn’t going to half-ass this recipe; it was too important to him. He’d simply have to put it all back and plan something else. All at once, the thought of failing at such a simple objective overwhelmed him. He buried his face in his hands and quietly sobbed, acutely aware that strangers could see.
Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder and close to his ear, at a volume only he could hear, a kindly voice said,
“Come now, it can’t be that bad, can it?”
Elliott looked up to see the BBW who had caught him staring. His eyes opened wide, revealing the tears that had pooled on his lower lids, threatening to spill over at any moment.
“Oh no, I’m sorry…” she offered. “I had no idea. What happened, honey? Can I help?”
Could she help? Could she? Elliott’s mind raced. He should know the answer to this. But what could he possibly say? ‘Yes, could you please just hold me and let me cry into your bosom for an hour or two?’ It was out of the question. It was also the only thing he could think of. Being unable to vocalize those words, he did the only thing he could think of. He nodded. When he did, the tears spilled over the dam and cascaded down his cheeks.
It was the first time he had ever cried in public. He knew it was an embarrassment, both for himself and for all the strangers who had to witness it. It was a breach of etiquette—an unspoken social contract for men. He couldn’t help it. She pulled him to her breast and let him sob, stroking his hair and gently shushing him, helping him regain control. Her arm around him, she slowly led him outside and sat him down on a bench.
“It’s okay, hey hey… It’s ooh-kay, mommy’s got you. Everything’s gonna be fine. Shhhhhh.”
She patted his head and stroked his hair until he cried out, then she said,
“Thaaat’s better. Now… my name’s Allison. What’s yours?”
“Elliott.”
“Elliott, good. Tell me, Elliott, what happened? What’s wrong?”
Oh God, thought Elliott. Where to start?
“She – she dumped me… told me to get out. Cold as anything, after 4 months together!”
He expelled a few more sobs and hung his head, ashamed that the people walking into the store could see him like this.
“Your girlfriend? My God, baby, she really hurt you, didn’t she?”
Elliott tried to nod simply, but he looked into her eyes as he did. The warmth and compassion he found there were like water to a man dying of thirst, and were more than he deserved. He broke down again, body-wrenching sobs overtaking him. Allison comforted him again, holding him close and giving him the time he needed.
“Poor baby, you’re damaged. Don’t worry, I think I can help you. I’ve seen men like you before. I know what you need.”
Elliott lifted his head off her shoulder and looked into her eyes again, his expression conveying an unspoken ‘you do?’. He saw where his tears had spotted her dress and felt bad for imposing on her. But she seemed to have something in mind for him, and he was strangely confident that she might actually be able to help him. Which is why he immediately worried she would leave him when she announced,
“I need to go back inside for a few minutes; you just wait right here. Alright?”
Elliott nodded and managed a “Yes ma’am, I’ll be alright.” Hearing ‘a few minutes’, he assumed it was a bathroom break. He passed the minutes thinking of little beyond the fullness of her breasts, which he had rested his cheek on for an extended period. It made him hard even then, when he was bawling his eyes out. It made him even harder now.
His daydream was reined in by the vision of those same breasts in the flesh, encased in the dress with the tear-stained shoulder.
“Hey there Elliott, you look much better! Are you feeling up for a ride?”
“Uh, yeah, sure; where are we going?”
“Back to my place, sweetie. Where can I give you what you need?”
As Elliott followed Allison to her car, he had another opportunity to admire the fullness of her ass. The width of it, the near-symmetric roundness, and the glorious way it jiggled as she walked. He couldn’t believe he was hot for a woman nearly twice his age. He’d never been particularly attracted to older women, and certainly not heavy ones. But suddenly, none of that seemed to matter.
She extended her arm toward a late-model SUV, and it chirped in response. They climbed in, and as she navigated them out of the parking lot, she asked,
“Do you have a car here in the lot?”
“Uh, no… I walked, actually. I live close by.”
“Oh, perfect, that makes things easier.”
Then, out of nowhere, Elliott exclaimed,
“Wait – what about our carts full of groceries. We’ve got to go put that stuff back.”
“Don’t worry, I took care of all the perishables, they’re back in their coolers. I left the rest close to the back doors, where employees will notice the carts and eventually realize they’re abandoned. Now, how about you tell me a little about yourself, beyond the fact that you’re fundamentally a good person.”
And Elliott did tell her, more than a little. Regarding his childhood, being bullied, his struggles with luck with girls, and how he stumbled into a relationship with one who was out of his league, all this information was good, which confirmed her initial impression about him. He was a beta male who happened to be taken in by someone who didn’t understand him or what made him tick. She didn’t press him about the problems in the relationship, wishing to avoid another breakdown while she was driving.
When they arrived at her place and she got him comfortable in the living room, Allison gently broached the sensitive topic again. The details he would divulge might come in handy, but her primary reason was to allow him to get himself all worked up again. That was the quickest way to lead him to what she knew he needed.
“Elliott, I apologize for having to bring this up, but can we talk about you and your girlfriend a little bit more?”
“I-I guess we can talk about it if you want. What do you want to know?”
He was eager to please and seemingly unaware of how it would reignite his emotional trauma.
“Well, it could really help to know where the problems came up between you two. What did she do to hurt you so bad?”
“She stopped loving me. And then… and then, she even started to hate me. Well, to despise me, anyways.”
Allison scootched closer to him on the sofa but avoided any contact. She exuded sympathy, appearing anguished herself.
“Do you know what caused this change?” she prodded.
“I think I paled in comparison. I couldn’t measure up in the most important categories. It’s why she lost respect for me, stopped seeing me as her peer, and started looking down on me. And then she also discovered…”
“Discovered what, sweetie?”
Elliott hesitated, then softly confessed,
“She discovered… that she enjoyed seeing me humiliated.”
“Aaaaaa, I see. You had a non-traditional sexual relationship, didn’t you?”
“Yes, ma’am, we did.”
Allison could see Elliott shrink down into the cushions as he began to bare himself to her. This was going to be more difficult for him than she had imagined.
“Don’t worry, sweetie, I don’t need to hear about all the things that were said and done to humiliate you. At least not right now. Just tell me one more thing… did your sexual experiences include other people?”
“No. Hers did, but not mine. I wanted to, but my girlfriend’s new boyfriend wouldn’t let me. She even put my dick in a cage, to keep me under her control.”
“Poor baby, you don’t even know the terminology, do you? He was her bull, and you were her cuckold.”
“I was?” he asked sheepishly.
“Yes, you were. Apparently, the old-fashioned, unwitting kind, but yes. She took advantage of your naivete and used your humiliation fetish against you. It’s not your fault that your relationship didn’t last. She destroyed it, very nearly you along with it. She led you down a path destined to strip you of your dignity and self-respect.”
Elliott saw the truth in her words and felt overwhelming shame for having allowed himself to be so cruelly manipulated. The tears welled up in his eyes to the point that he could no longer see her clearly. He knew what was coming, and so did Allison.
“Elliott… honey… It’s alright. You’re with me. You’re safe now. She’s done hurting you. Come to Allison, baby boy. Come, let me hold you.”
He turned to her and melted into her embrace, burying his face in her soft bosom once again. She let him cry on her chest as she slowly undid the top buttons of her dress. She didn’t disturb him, but he watched it happen, hardly believing his eyes. When she pulled one breast out of its cup, he looked up at her, silently asking permission. She gave the slightest nod, and his mouth sought out the large nipple on her hanging mammary, latched on, and began to suckle.
“That’s it, baby. Nurse. Suckle and nurse, like a good baby boy. You are my good baby boy, aren’t you, Elliott?”
Elliott nodded, his heavily lidded eyes barely open. Allison stroked his hair with one hand while her other supported her large, soft breast for him. She was purposefully encouraging his submission, fully aware that in his present state, he would willingly go wherever she led him. She told herself that it wasn’t wrong because she had no harmful intent and had the experience to know she wouldn’t turn on him.
Her now deceased husband had been a beta male, and she loved him unfailingly for 15 years, until a congenital brain defect took him far too early. She never thought she’d have the chance to love and nurture another beta boy, and she was grateful. For Allison, Elliott was heaven-sent.
“You make Momma feel so good.”
She cooed her words to him, pleased by the effect they had on him. Elliott moaned and hummed quietly as he nuzzled and sucked. When the vibration of his lips hit the right frequency, her contented sounds told him this was a note to remember.
“You like Momma’s big breasts, don’t you, baby?”
“Mmm hmmm”
“Do you want to touch yourself while you do that?”
“Mmm hmmm”
“How about if Momma does it for you?”
Elliott released her teeth for the first time to plead,
“Oh, please, please touch me! I want that so badly! Pleeease!”
But then he hesitated, seemingly on the verge of tears again, if for a very different reason. He added,
“But… you should know… I’m very small.”
“Of course you are, darling! And I’m dying to know just how small it is. Now don’t you worry about anything. You just take momma’s teat back into your mouth and relax.”
Allison’s hand brushed lightly over the crotch of his pants. Elliott’s hips jumped, and he let out a whimper. She dared another touch, wanting to get a decent impression of what the boy was hiding. It was certainly short, tough to tell how thin, and obviously very stiff.
“Oh God!” Elliott exclaimed. “Oh God, I’m cumming! Aaaahhhhhh!!!”
It was over quickly, and Elliott hid his face against Allison’s breast as the mess in his pants soaked into his underwear. She could feel more tears and hear the muffled sobs. It wasn’t an unheard-of reaction to the release of an orgasm, but she wondered if there was more to it.
“Why are you crying, Elliott? Are you sad?”
“N-no,” he answered in a tiny voice.
“Something else?”
“I’m embarrassed.”
“Why?”
“Because I made a mess in my pants, and… because I came so quick.”
“Awww, don’t worry, sweet boy; you’ll do better next time.”
Elliott looked questioningly at her. The corners of her mouth curled upward ever so slightly, and he smiled bigger, thrilled to hear there would be a next time.
Elliott spent the night with Allison, sleeping in her bed with her, content to merely cuddle with her and snuggle into that warm, curvaceous, silk-covered body. He thought of doing much more, but would never be so bold as to take the initiative. She wanted to do more, but sought to build his confidence first, apprehensive that her desires might overwhelm him completely.
The next day, they stopped by his place and gathered clothes and toiletries for an extended stay. They also revisited the grocery store, collecting the ingredients for several of his favorite dishes. Comfortably ensconced at her place, they settled in, working together in her garden, and sharing favorite movies the other had yet to see.
They also listened to a lot of music together. Allison had been an amateur lounge singer in her twenties and had an impressive collection of CDs featuring her favorite singers, including Linda Ronstadt, Grace Slick, Bonnie Raitt, Tina Turner, and numerous lesser-known artists. They were strong women with powerful voices, and she loved to crank up her old-school stereo and fill the house with their voices, occasionally singing along to her favorite parts.
Simply being at her side made Elliott more comfortable, but cooking for her let him blossom. She loved good food and had an appreciation for the care and effort he poured into each meal. By the evening of their third day together, they settled into the living room with the remains of the wine bottle from dinner. Allison decided to forgo the TV in favor of her collection of classic vinyl. She spun one of her favorite Cowboy Junkies albums — ideal background for the probing conversation she intended.
“Elliott, I love spending time with you, and you know I think you’re really special, right?”
“And I think you’re just wonderful!” he gushed in return.
“That’s so sweet. But sometimes, a woman wants to feel special herself. I mean, it’s incredibly rewarding to nurture a kind and gentle soul such as yourself, but sometimes a woman wants to feel passion, you know?”
“Look, Allison, I know a woman like you needs a real man in her life. If you’re trying to tell me you have one… well, I’m willing to try to fit in however you want.”
“Ha! No, my sweet Elliott, there is no man in my life. But there is you now, and I’d like to understand you better; get to know how we might be able to make each other feel good. Do you find my body attractive? I mean, beyond your obvious infatuation with my breasts.”
“Oh my God, yes! Your body is incredible! I mean, your shape — your curves, your luscious backside; you’re just… such an abundance of woman!”
Allison smiled, relishing the avalanche she was about to unleash. She stood up and moved to the center of the room, then slowly began to disrobe in front of him. Elliott sat incredulous, his penis beginning to stir in his pants. She undressed matter-of-factly, not at all like the strip tease he would have imagined. Yet it was incredibly provocative, seeing her standing before him, completely and willingly exposed to him.
“Do you like my body, Elliott? How does it make you feel, seeing me like this?”
She stood tall, unashamed in her body. Her demeanor seemed to issue a challenge, forcing him to confess,
“I’m intimidated by your breasts. I know I’m not worthy of them, of being with a woman with such amazing breasts. They represent such feminine power.”
“I suppose they do, particularly for a boy like you. But that’s not where my true power lies.”
Walking to the opposite end of the sofa, she sat down sideways, facing him. Then she brought her knees up and spread her legs wide. Her large, hairy pussy lips slowly parted of their own accord, affording Elliott a slight glimpse at the precious parts within.
“So beautiful…” he murmured. “… so beautiful.”
“Tell me, what does it make you want to do?”
“Lick. Lick and suck, and kiss your pretty lips, and taste you! I want to worship you with my mouth!”
“Of course you do! Now get down here and show me, baby. Show momma how good you are with that mouth!”
Elliott did not need to be told twice. He approached the altar with all the haste his reverence would allow. As the beta boy made love to the pussy, the matron leaned back and luxuriated. The mature woman took her pleasure from the boy. This would be the first of many such sessions, and neither would ever grow tired of them. Elliott had found a home, for which Allison was truly grateful.
From that point on, Allison and Elliott were bonded.
Boyfriend and girlfriend, they certainly were not. Neither were they Domme/sub, although Elliott fit the sub bill well enough. Had Allison been inclined to dominate, it would have been a piece of cake. But she wanted only to seek mutual pleasure, even if their roles clearly leaned toward mistress and servant. But she was smart enough to know that his pleasure required him to maintain a certain level of subservience.
So, the unlikely couple settled into a rhythm, centered around Elliott’s passionate and dedicated servicing of the pussy. She still allowed him to nurse regularly, and he became accustomed to hearing her reassuring, comforting guidance – that’s it, suckle, baby… suckle and masturbate, it’ll make you feel better.
Once Allison revealed her pussy to be the source of her feminine power, Elliott needed no other signposts or guide. For her part, Allison was in heaven. She was reliving some of her most treasured aspects of sex with her late husband. But eventually, she became curious; what more had he served up, waiting only for her to lift the lids?
She knew he could never properly fuck her, but hoped she might be able to encourage some growth in him, maybe build him up a little. But she couldn’t even get him to use the word tits with any conviction. Of course, she could get him to say (or do) anything; she just couldn’t get him to say it with lust. They were always breasts to him, and he was clearly uncomfortable referring to them with any term that could be construed as disrespectful. She still suspected there was more inside, but was wary of disrupting the harmony they had found.
It started innocently, with her picking up a surprise dessert —a coconut cream pie she had bought and squirrelled away in the fridge without him seeing. After dinner that evening, she said,
“I have a surprise for you. I hope you like cream pies.”
Elliott’s face flushed bright red before he could even figure out how to respond. Before Allison made the connection, she saw his distress and offered,
“It’s coconut cream; I love it, but I usually only get it as a special treat.”
An immediately relieved Elliott quickly found his feet and replied,
“Oh, coconut cream! Yeah, sure, I’ll have a slice.”
But the damage was done. Allison realized he’d initially misunderstood, and it didn’t take long to figure out what the confusion had been.
Elliott, do you have something you’d like to admit to me?”
He hesitated, then meekly replied,
“Yes”
“Well, go ahead then.”
“I-I used to eat Lucy’s cream pies.”
“Oh, you did, did you? Did she make them herself, or did she have help?”
“She had help.”
His head bowed, ashamed to look her in the eye.
“Her bull?” Allison gently offered.
“Yes.”
Now his shame peaked and crashed over him. He knew the tears were not far behind, and in a desperate attempt to suppress them, he tried to explain, but as he did, it just all came pouring out.
“At first, she made me do it, and it was disgusting. But after a while, I grew accustomed to the taste, and eventually, God help me, I came to love it. I loved the taste of his cum! That’s why I wanted to suck his cock. To taste it fresh and untainted by her pussy. And to thank him for it. Does that mean I’m gay?”
“Whoa-whoa; hang on there,” she chuckled. “That’s a lot to unwrap! First of all, baby, no; that doesn’t mean you’re gay. It means you have a healthy libido and an open mind. My guess is you grew to enjoy eating his cum not because of the taste, but due to the intense fetishization your girlfriend and her bull surrounded the act with as you performed it in front of them. Your ‘love’ for it was a reflection of your conditioning, much as was your initial revulsion. They were both emotions put on you by others. In reality, cum tastes comparatively mild, regardless of the subtle unique variations.”
It was almost as if she had been in the room with them, the way she seemed to know what had happened. He didn’t know whether everything she said was true, but she sounded so sure of herself.
“I would guess the intensity of your experience will make it difficult for you to dissect and analyze. If I were you, I wouldn’t try to draw too many conclusions based on your initial experience. While we’re at it, is there anything else you did with Lucy that you’d like to get off your chest? You know… sorta, make a clean breast of it? No pun intended.”
“Ha ha. Uhhh… there is something else… something pretty big.”
“Elliott, sweetheart, I can see you’re reluctant; you know don’t have to tell. It’s just that it might help, is all. Get it off your chest — who knows, you may find it liberating.”
He took a few moments to consider it, and Allison took the opportunity to place her hand over his boy bump. She slowly increased the pressure of her grasp – not to harm him, as Lucy would have – but to stimulate him, while at the same time reinforcing the point that she could easily grasp his entire package in a single feminine hand. It was completely unfair; in fact, it was downright manipulative. But it was, after all, for the boy’s good. Serendipitously, it was also highly arousing for her.
In the moments when he still was able to concentrate, Elliott mulled it over and could find no arguments against coming clean (no pun intended!). The stimulation of his boy bits was now overwhelming his senses, rendering him unable to reason. He decided to go with his first instinct and surrender the truth.
“I let Lucy peg me.”
The shame was even worse, and it hit full force, all at once. Allison took him into her arms and comforted him, hoping she could do it without ushering in a full-on bawl. She maintained just enough movement in her hand to prevent him from dwelling on the negative feelings, and she spoke in an attempt to keep his higher brain functions engaged.
“Lemme guess… it was her idea?”
“Oh yeah, it most definitely was! I was scared shitless. Well, at least I thought I was shitless. Turns out that takes some practice. Ha ha!”
They both laughed, thoroughly dispelling the threatening tears.
“So, she made you do it. I’m sure that couldn’t have been good at all, at least at first. Did you grow to like it, too?”
“I – I couldn’t help it Allison, I cried every time she fucked me in the ass.”
“Oh, baby, my poor little boy! I’m so sorry.”
Elliott’s tears sprang forth without warning, even though they were not wholly unexpected. Allison had become something of an expert at quelling these outbursts when they occurred, particularly during intimate moments. It provided the perfect context for the two best options she had: penile stimulation and her breasts. The first she merely needed to continue providing; the second only required loosening four buttons and unclasping her front-closing bra, which she navigated with her free hand. No sooner had she freed her breasts than Elliott latched on and began to suckle.
“Baby, I know it’s hard for you, you’re such an emotional boy. But I want you to think back on those times when she pegged you, after you were able to relax, and it no longer hurt. I understand that when you describe intense feelings, you naturally describe how you felt, your emotions. I want you to tell me how it felt. Were the physical sensations ever pleasant?”
“I don’t know. How can I separate what I feel from how it feels? I never experienced them separately, so I don’t know where to start.”
His voice was plaintive, almost whiney. It wasn’t an attractive feature, but Allison was accustomed to it and understood it to be part of the package that was Elliott. She helpfully offered,
“We can find out if you want.”
She let the suggestion hang in the air a moment, knowing he would be up to his ears in memories and emotions. As she continued, she shifted her tone from suggestive to persuasive.
“I have a sizable collection of strap-ons, I’m sure we could find one suitable for your boy hole. How does that sound?”
Elliott was deeply conflicted. On the one hand, he always hated getting pegged, but on the other, he had only ever been pegged by Lucy, and she was intentionally cruel. She always fucked him like it was a punishment, and that’s the way it always left his asshole feeling — punished. He didn’t want to sound like he was already yielding, but he wanted some assurance.
“Would you be nice to me? You know… go slow and easy, and stop if I ask?”
“Oh my God, baby; of course I would! Jesus, honey, that evil little…”
Allison stopped herself before she got too wound up about Lucy. The bitch didn’t deserve Elliott, nor any other impressionable boy like him. If she could track her down, she’d… damn – there she goes again! She turned away from her internal hate-fest to ease Elliott’s fears.
“Baby, I won’t be hate-fucking you. For that matter, I won’t even be fucking you” (unless you beg for it, she thought). “I’ll be making love to you. I think you’re gonna love the way I can make you feel with my strap-on!”
Her smile was so broad and genuine that it was contagious. Elliott felt like he was celebrating something that hadn’t even happened yet. In fact, it wouldn’t happen for days. She had him play with himself with his finger first, then she taught him how to clean out his boy hole. She waited until he showed her that he could get three fingers into his hole, wanting him to teach himself the difference between being violated and being massaged.
She showed him her array of strap-ons and had him point out which was most like the biggest he had ever taken. She chose one a step smaller and fitted it into the harness. Not only would it make it easier for him to give in and relax, but it was one she favored for its shorter, bulbous, insertable end. She would make him feel good, but she would get hers as well.
Stepping in front of him, she placed a hand against his cheek and pulled him toward her, kissing him deeply, probing with her tongue. She asserted the slightest hint of dominance, and he relinquished willingly, melting into her kiss. She reached around and slid her hand down his backside, her middle finger sliding into his pants and down between his cheeks, finding the hole he had been training. Placing the pad of her finger over his asshole, she asked,
“How does this feel?”
“Hmmm…” he replied, “… good.”
Pressing their cheeks together, she whispered in his ear,
“I’m so glad you’ve decided to give up your little boy-hole to me.”
“Nnnnnngh…” he whimpered.
Allison unfastened his pants and pushed them down, letting him step out of them. She removed his shirt as well, reinforcing the dynamic – he getting naked first, and her doing it to him. She guided him to the bed and tossed him the lube while she stripped and stepped into the harness. He lay on his back, threw his bent legs over his shoulders, and lubed his hole. She watched him play with his pucker, beginning the opening process. She gazed on hungrily as she took the tube from him and slickened her phallus. Knee-walking up to his ass, she placed the hard dildo against his opening,
“Feel me knocking?” she teased.
Elliott nodded briskly, eyes wide, face filled with concern.
“Hey-hey, relax. Remember, I’m not going to hurt you.”
She covered his mouth with hers, enticing his tongue to play as she pushed and angled and slowly insinuated her phallus into him. He gasped as it happened, then began to moan as she moved it in and out softly.
“Oh yeah! You like that, don’t you? I’m in your little boy-hole, and you like it!”
Elliott could only whimper, already lost in the sensations buzzing at his entrance.
“Such a sweet boy…” she exuded. “So innocent, even after all you’ve been through. You really are a remarkable boy, you know that?”
She cupped her massive tits in her hands and pulled them straight out from her chest, wiggling them, taunting him as he gazed up at her. She began sawing the dildo into him, feeding him more on each stroke, until eventually she was buried deep inside him.
“You’ve got it all, sweetie! You’re momma’s big boy now! Kiss me while I press into you. You’re making momma’s pussy feel so good! And you’re not even using your mouth! Such a big boy!”
Allison felt an approaching orgasm, brought on by rutting him deeply, barley moving the dildo in him as its base pressed firmly against her clit. She rocked hard, up and down, grinding it out. The whole time, he whimpered, offering his rendition of ecstasy. Then, just as her orgasm was peaking, she blurted
“Oh God, Elliott, honey… I love you!”
It wasn’t planned. In fact, the closest she had come in her head was to recognize her feelings and tell herself it shouldn’t happen. In the heat of the moment, she seemed to have forgotten that. Now she was looking into his eyes, and the significance of those words was not lost on him. He wrapped his legs around her and pulled his body up off the bed to her, looking like a juvenile monkey being carried by its mother.
Allison could feel the silent tears on her shoulder and knew they were his expression of pure joy. Her words still hung in the air, and she needed to replace them with something, the sooner the better. She withdrew the dildo and said,
“Honey, get on your knees for me. I want to long-stroke you like I can only do from behind. It’s time for you to feel pushed… just a little.”
Elliott now had something to take his mind off those words. The suggestion was unmistakable, but he couldn’t take the threat seriously. Not after what she had said. Not after the way she was looking at him right now. He eagerly sprang up, spun around and planted his face and shoulders into the bed; sticking his ass into the air with a practiced familiarity.
“Ha ha ha! Someone has been in this position before! Boy, but you do make that ass look inviting. Why don’t you go ahead and give it the final flourish with your hands? You know, kinda like a special invitation.”
Elliott reached back and grabbed both cheeks, spreading them open, and opening his hole. Allison lined up her hips and slid into him.
“Ooooo, look at that. That’s one hungry hole, baby! Oh yeah, take it! Take it, my sweet, sweet boy!”
She moved methodically at first, then gradually increased her pace. Being back in the saddle was bringing back memories, and that old feeling of power, once again giving her girl cock to a whimpering beta boy. Soon she was burying it from tip to hilt on every stroke. No words left Elliott’s mouth – he sang his feelings to her in a high pitch, sounding unashamedly girly. His little package hung beneath him and swung back and forth as she pumped him toward paradise.
She sawed into him passionately, each thrust culminating in a mashing of her clit against the harness. By the time she reached her peak, his vocalizations had become guttural. Allison climaxed with a yell, collapsing across Elliott’s back, putting his slim frame to the test as he was forced to support her considerable weight. Once she could summon the energy to speak, she laughingly said,
“I’m happy to say, I told you so. I’d say you liked that very much!”
“Oh yes! And you came twice! It was wonderful!”
She pulled out of him, then rolled off and onto her back.
“You know, you could come that way too. The way you just blissed out on my girl cock — it would probably only take that kind of treatment, coupled with denying yourself for a week or two. Whether that’s worth it, going without for that long, is up to you. They say it’s a different kind of orgasm, and multiples are possible with no refractory period. Sounds tempting to me, but what do I know?”
Elliott had no response, but wheels began to turn.
Days later, Elliott was allowed a very special privilege of penis-in-vagina sex. They both knew that physically, it was strictly something for him. She would enjoy it deeply, but in a romantic way. Elliott, of course, shared every bit of that emotion, but it was multiplied by the tactile ecstasy of being inside her. True, he felt very little pressure, but there was more than enough slippery contact for him. He came quickly and, afterward, fell into the trap that many average men succumb to, usually in their early years. He asked how he was, whether it pleased her. When he tried to get her to make performance comparisons, she refused to participate, telling him,
“Don’t worry about how you compare with others in some sexual category. Everything we do together pleases me. Some more than others?… sure. But that doesn’t diminish any of it. As long as you can say the same about me, we’re good. Neither of us needs to be the other’s perfect match.”
It worked to end the questions, but Allison doubted it quieted the internal debate he was having.
Over the next weeks, the subject of possible futures for Elliott kept coming up. The problem was, they weren’t in areas Allison knew anything about.
“Honey, I just can’t help you with stuff like that. Things about men in general, I mean. I got married very young, and I was with none but my sweet beta husband until I was 45 years old. By then, I lacked the enthusiasm for the chase. Consequently, not only do I lack the experience, but I also don’t have contacts who might be able to help. I think it’s time you get back into the game, Elliott.”
He had been wondering the same thing himself for a while, but had been too unsure to speak it out loud. Hearing it now from Allison made it not only more real, but also split him in two. He wanted to stay with her, but as always, he also wanted to do what she thought best. He stewed with it a while, but eventually felt compelled to revisit the subject, asking her,
“Is it normal? I mean, for guys like me to be curious about other guys?”
“It is somewhat common for boys like you to find themselves drawn to more masculine men. Sometimes it just works that way. Perhaps they struggle with the societal pressures of being a man; I don’t know. Some boys just feel more comfortable with a real man. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course; to each his own. But I think you owe it to yourself to find out if you’re like that. You should go out there and experience life, see what it has to offer.”
It took several more talks, but Elliott finally saw the logic in what he was hearing. His curiosities finally got the better of him, and eventually they agreed the time was right. She felt like a mother sending her son off to school for the first time.
“It’s time to go play with others, honey. Just be careful and avoid the users. If it feels like someone’s using you, they probably are. Trust your gut, but take calculated risks. Push yourself a little.”
Two months after she rescued the lost puppy from the grocery store, he was now ready to take on the world again. As Elliott walked out her door, emotions welled up in him, and his wandering thoughts landed on a lyric from one of Allison’s favorite Cowboy Junkies songs.
I want to yell farewell from a crowded pier,
just me and a thousand good-byes
The tears will be bittersweet,
’cause soon she’ll be back on my side
If I lost you now, I would feel as hollow as a bone.
*****
Those first days after Elliott left were tough ones for Allison; his presence was everywhere. The music she played was all sad-sweet and melancholy, reflecting her feelings. By the end of the first week, a few good days had snuck into the mix. Several weeks in, thoughts of Elliott became a frequent, fond memory. She resolved to hang onto it, not knowing if she would ever see him again. A part of her wanted very much to see him, but another part knew that wishing for that was akin to wishing for his failure. If he came back, she was sure it would be because he needed her help again. So, she tried her best to keep him close to her heart, but apart from her desire.
It had been four months since the knock came at her door. She had been cleaning house, of all things — dressed in a ratty t-shirt and old baggy sweats. Her hair was piled messily on her head, and she was devoid of any makeup. She crept up to the door, thinking there were very few people she wanted to have see her in her present state. That all flew out the window with her first look through the peephole. She flung the door open and held out her arms, with a smile on her face, doing her best to hide the trace of concern in her eyes.
“Elliott! It’s so good to see you!”
Following a prolonged hug, Allison welcomed him in and asked,
“How have you been? God, I’m so glad to see you! Did I say that already? Anyway, come in! Let me make some tea, and we can chat. Better yet, you know where everything is, why don’t you make us some tea, that’ll give me a chance to change out of these raggedly old clothes and into something more presentable.”
When a refreshed Allison returned in a sweater over tights, Elliott had the tea ready. Allison threw on some Linda Ronstadt, adjusted the volume low, and settled into the cozy breakfast nook to catch up with her long-lost beta boy. Allison nudged him playfully,
“Okay, now, you must have stories to tell. C’mon, out with it.”
Elliott smiled, putting on a brave and confident face, much to Allison’s relief.
“Well, let’s see… soon after I left you, I made friends with a wonderful girl, Penny. She’s around my age, and when we met, she had no experience with betas. I thought that would be a good thing, as I’d be able to show her what I liked, and she wouldn’t have her preconceived notions. Penny’s not, uh, blessed the way you are, so her pussy became my immediate focus, and she was over the moon with that! She had never received oral from anyone who knew what they were doing, so I won a special place in her heart.
I was one happy pussy boy for months, but eventually it became one-dimensional. A fabulous dimension, to be sure; but I guess when you know there’s so much more out there, it’s hard not to desire some variety. But try as I might, I couldn’t get Penny interested in anything the least bit unusual. My first tentative comments about having another man involved were shut down so rapidly, I should have realized she was immovable on the subject. But I didn’t, and she was.
It all came to a head during a wonderful round of her teasing me — it was a little game we often played. She kept prodding me about my fantasies. I thought she knew they involved other men, so when she assured me that she wouldn’t judge and she just really wanted to hear the details, I told her. I opened completely, entrusting her with my most secret desires. That was the beginning of the end of us. We broke up a few days later, and afterward, I went through a long dry spell. I don’t know if you realize it, but I have really weak social skills.”
Allison’s smile told him she got the sarcasm, but she wasn’t going to dwell on it.
“I’m sorry it ended that way, but it sounds like you learned from it, and all things considered, I’d say you came out of it fairly well. You enjoyed her while you were together, and you came away unscathed. I’m proud of you!”
“Thanks. I hadn’t thought of it quite that way.”
“So, after Penny, did you go about trying to find a man?”
“No, and I didn’t find a man, but Jeff found me, nonetheless. All I did was watch more gay porn. I checked out Grindr, and a couple other hookup sites that favor men, but I couldn’t screw up the courage to put myself out there. It was too intimidating.
“How did Jeff find you?”
We met at a potluck I went to with a friend. I never suspected he was into guys; he was such a traditional midwestern Christian farm boy. Turns out he was raised a strict Baptist, and he held on to a lot of those teachings, even while he started having sex with men. At any rate, he was very kind and compassionate, and he won me over before either of us tried anything physical.”
“But you did eventually try things?”
“Yes. I experienced some amazing firsts with Jeff. I got to suck a real cock! It was the most incredible thing. I fell in love with Jeff’s cock. I worshiped it morning, noon, and night. By the time he fucked me, I would have done anything for him.”
“Was it better than my strap-on, when he fucked you?”
“Oh yes, much better! The emotions were very similar — he’s really a very caring person, and that didn’t change when he was stuffing his dick up my ass. That part of it was a lot like when you pegged me. But the physical part felt so much better, and my awareness that it was a real man giving it to me made it so much more incredible!”
“Oh, Elliott, I’m so happy you found that! He sounds lovely! Now, tell me, when do I get to meet him?”
“We broke up.”
“Oh no, what happened?”
He couldn’t be dominant with me, and I wanted so badly to submit to him. He couldn’t even humiliate me, which I craved. He was just a kind, loving man who wanted to make love to me, and that felt wonderful. But I kept thinking about what you wanted for me — what you encouraged me to do. Try new things and push myself a little. I could have been happy a long time with Jeff, but I would have always known that I hadn’t experienced some of the things I was sure I wanted.
So I kept trying with Jeff, trying to get him to humiliate me, play like he was making me do things, taking advantage of me, even fuck me roughly. The more I coaxed him to try, the more it turned him off. Eventually, he just lost his passion for me; it all kind of turned into just him feeling sad for me. It made me feel ashamed of myself, but not in a good way. There was nothing sexual about it; I just felt like a disappointment to Jeff.”
Elliott’s voice trembled. He pushed himself to finish as his entire demeanor began to crack.
“It made me feel like… like a broken loser.”
Allison witnessed the crumble before her eyes, and she flung her arms around him as fast as she could. He let go and bawled unashamedly into her neck, hiding his face in her hair. She began to coo nonsense softly into his ear, then switched to humming along with Linda as she crooned.
It won’t be long before another day.
We’re gonna have a good time.
And no one’s gonna take that time away.
You can stay as long as you like
So close your eyes
You can close your eyes, it’s alright.
Elliott cried himself out, grateful to be back in her arms. When he finally stopped, Allison casually lifted her sweater, catching the underside of her left bra cup on the way, letting her heavy breast fall for him. And just like the good old days, Elliott latched on and suckled.
“There’s my good little boy. Momma missed this, honey. I think you did too, didn’t you?”
Elliott nodded without breaking contact. Allison softly stroked his arm, then slid her hand down his side and brought it to rest against his crotch.
“Awww, my baby boy is hard. Would you like your momma to touch it?”
Elliott nodded more vigorously and vibrated her breast with a
“Mmm hmmmm!”
She slowly played with his zipper, prolonging the agony for him.
“How long has it been? Since you’ve come, I mean.”
For the first time, he released her nipple to whine his answer,
“Five days.”
She ran her finger lightly over his erect penis and it jumped up, silently pleading for more of the same. As her stroking became more deliberate, he sucked harder and swirled his tongue to great effect.
“Oh, baby, you’re so close! I know you want to squirt for momma, don’t you?”
“Mmmm hmmm.”
“Oh yes, baby; that’s it! Suck momma’s titty! Suck it like a good little boy and come all over yourself. Oh yes, baby, yes!”
Elliott sprayed wildly as Allison maintained her frenetic pace through his repeated blasts. Only when his spasms died down did she slow, increasing the pressure and milking out everything he could give her.
“You really needed that, didn’t you?” she asked, taking her breast away.
“So badly! I missed it too.”
“Are you going to be able to spend the night?” she asked, noting he had shown up without a bag.
“I have some things in the car… just in case, you know… You invited me to stay.”
Allison could only think of one thing at the moment, and that was how badly she wanted his face between her thighs. She was relieved to hear there would be no time limits tonight.
“Oh, baby, didn’t I already say it? Maybe I just felt it. Anyway… you can stay as long as you like.”
The pussy eating lasted off-and-on for the better part of the night, leaving Allison with that totally depleted feeling she had almost forgotten about. It wasn’t until breakfast the next morning that she revisited the subject of Elliott’s well-being.
“Sweetie, would it be ok if we talked a little more about what you figured out from being with Jeff?”
“Uh, okay.. I guess.”
“Okay, so you said you have a desire to be dominated and humiliated.”
“Yes. I need to feel inferior, and I need to confess my inferiority to a superior.”
“It’s alright, baby; confession is good for the soul. Go ahead…” Allison coaxed.
“I need to expose myself to them so that they will understand. I want them to tell me what I am, call me dirty names, make me beg them for things I don’t even want, just because they want to see it.”
Elliott shuddered as he spoke the words. Strong, hot waves of shame washed over him, and he cast his gaze to the floor.
“You know,” Allison said, “while I can’t play the dominant role, there is one additional thing I can do for you… If you want, I mean.”
“What?”
“I can give you some small penis humiliation; you know, make fun of your endowment.”
“Y-you’d do that for me?”
“I would. I just won’t use it to degrade you or make you feel worthless. You’ll have to get that somewhere else. My late husband enjoyed SPH, so I understand it very well. I didn’t want to lead you down a path that you hadn’t committed to yet, but I see now that your desire is so strong… you’ll inevitably find someone who can give it to you. Given that, I’d be honored to be your first.”
“Oh my God, that would be… amazing! Thank you!”
“Are you ready to begin?”
Elliott was grinning ear-to-ear as he vigorously nodded his excited approval. Allison said,
“Stand up and step away from the table. Better yet, why don’t we go to the living room where we can be more comfortable?”
Allison followed him in and intercepted him before he could sit. Taking care not to touch him, she strolled around him slowly, explaining how she proposed to play with him.
“I want you to pretend that we don’t know each other. You were introduced to me at some kind of open bar event. It’s crowded, and everyone’s dressed nice, like maybe a wedding reception. I want you to engage me in conversation the way you would secretly like. Imagine you could be completely honest with a strange woman, and you were in control of your inhibitions over your small penis. Do you think you can do that?”
Elliott stood mouth agape. They had never done any role-playing before, and he had no idea what to expect. Realizing she was waiting for his buy-in, he managed a nod.
“Okay. Now, this will only be as good as your commitment to it. Tap into that dirty mind and fantasize with me, and I promise it’ll be worth your while.”
She paused for a beat, getting into character; her voice slightly different when she next spoke,
“So, our host tells me you’re into investment counseling. Beyond that, tell me what I really need to know about Elliott Anderson. Bonus points if it’s something not normally shared in polite society.”
She grinned playfully. She was teeing it up for him — even Elliott could see that.
“Well, to be completely honest… I guess the first thing anyone should know about me is that I have a small penis.”
“Oh my! Why on earth would I need to know that?”
“Because it wouldn’t be fair for you to spend time getting to know me and then find out too late that I’m just pretending to be… normal. But also, because it defines me. It defines the way I look at myself, and the way I feel compared to others, and the way I relate to them.”
“Wow, you’ve clearly given this some thought. I’m impressed. Alright, so just how small is it?”
“It’s 3 1/2 inches long, fully erect, and two…”
“No, no, no; not numbers. Show me.”
“What! Here? But… there are people everywhere!”
Elliott’s eyes actually scanned the empty living room, deeply immersed in his imagination.
“I don’t care. Besides, I’ve got you backed into a corner here, I’m shielding you from most of them. Pretend they’re not watching, if it makes it easier for you. But in my version, they’re sneaking glances, maybe trying to catch a reflection in the window. Now take your penis out of your pants and make it hard for me.”
Elliott looked up and continued to scan the room as his hands did their familiar work. He felt just like he did at public urinals — fishing out his dick while looking straight ahead, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. All the while, acutely aware of how visibly he was displaying his inferiority. Allison reacted just like in his fantasies,
“My God, I can barely see it. It looks like a penis, only smaller. It isn’t hard yet, is it?”
“N-not completely.”
“Well, get busy then. If you keep your forearm still, you may even be able to get away with the slight movements required. I’ll bet you really only need to move your fingers, isn’t that right?”
Elliott released a long, low “Mmmmmm” as he began to use two fingers on himself, just like Allison suggested.
You like tugging your little thing for women, don’t you?”
“Yeeessssss” he hissed.
And you want them to look, don’t you?”
“Yes!”
“Hey-hey, I said get it hard, not make it shoot. Slow down, little boy. Let’s have a look at what you’ve done.”
Elliott dropped his hands to his sides and pushed his pelvis out proudly as he blushed. Allison had seen it many times, but the person he was jacking off for didn’t seem much like Allison, at least she didn’t sound like her.
“Well, it’s certainly rigid, I’ll give you that. But my God, you’re right — that is small. I mean, with a little willy like that, I think you’re only choice in life is whether you’re going to kneel for women, men, or both. I mean jeezus Elliott, you have the penis of a little boy! And it looks so cute on the body of an adult! It’s good that you shave it, it’s the right thing to do.”
The penis of a little boy… it burned deep into him, stimulating some dark recess of his brain, giving him a hit of something he craved like a drug. Before he knew it, he was blurting out.
“Look at it! Look at my little penis! I do have the penis of small boy! Keep looking at it. I want to jerk off for you while you watch! I want you to see me squirt!”
“Yes, baby! Show me that big boy squirt you make! Shoot your cummies for momma! Stroke that little thing.”
Elliott’s hand was a blur; the imaginary crowd in the room was long forgotten, his awareness reduced to that tiny place in his head where the shame lived. He bathed in that feeling as he pushed himself over the edge and his little dicklette erupted gloriously for her.
“Ahhh, there it is! That’s my big, little boy! Yes, pump it all out, sweetie. Good boy!”
Elliott had stood through the entire thing, but now he collapsed onto the sofa, exhausted.
“Thank you” was all he could summon. Seconds later, he meaningfully added,
“Thank you… Thank you… Oh God, thank you!”
Once Elliott had recovered somewhat, Allison remarked,
“You weren’t kidding about getting turned on by SPH. My late husband never got worked up that quickly by it. My God, it’s like rocket fuel for you!”
“Uh-huh,” replied Elliott, still spent and short of breath. He may have recovered his wits, but he still felt weak as a kitten. “Not just SPH, though, almost any H, really.” It was a subtle reminder that a larger world of H existed beyond her limits.
When Elliott had shown up at her door, Allison expected he might need a recharge — a slight boost to his confidence; maybe a few days, tops. Now that SPH became a regular side dish to their sexual repast, they found the meal to be an incredibly rewarding experience that they simply kept choosing. And that’s how the weeks turned into a month before either of them really noticed.
Allison knew all along the time would eventually come, but when Elliott’s questions once again surfaced, she felt as ill-equipped to answer them as she had the last time. Whether she was not physically equipped or was emotionally unwilling, the result was the same. Once she got him to grudgingly admit ‘I do miss cock’, she knew it was time. He would only find answers out there in the world. A world Allison knew could be cruel for someone as sensitive as he. It might be hard, and he might stumble or be knocked backward. But she’d always be there, and he knew that.
That brought a smile to her face. She had the classic Janice Joplin album Pearl playing, and she cranked it to eleven as her favorite song approached its crescendo. Janice was digging down deep into her soul, wringing out every drop of anguish as she belted out lyrics that had recently become very special to Allison:
And if you ever feel a little lonely, dear
I want you to come on, come on to your momma now.
And if you ever want a little love from a woman
C’mon and cry, cry baby, cry baby
Honey, welcome back home.
The End.
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